At about 3.22 am on Sunday morning officers were informed of a stationary vehicle with a driver inside causing an obstruction in north London...
And so the newly created George Michael Response Unit was despatched to recover the singer who was apparently "found once again slumped over the wheel of his car in London and in possession of cannabis".
We're also told that "He was taken briefly to hospital as a precautionary measure," which seems a little over-cautious (did he graze his head on the steering wheel when he passed out?); and that partner, Kenny Goss, "got him a McDonald's."
We can's wait to see what the McDonald's marketing people make of that endorsement.