You're the man now <s>dog</s> God!

By sizemore Last edited 149 months ago
You're the man now <s>dog</s> God!

The Gay Cops vs. God Cops grudge match is hotting up as things turn... well... a bit Biblical:

The head of the Gay Police Association (GPA) received a death threat after a row erupted over an advert the group put in a national newspaper. The advert blames religious beliefs for a rise in homophobic attacks and shows a bible next to a pool of blood with the slogan 'In the name of the father'. Ch Insp Paul Cahill was sent an e-mail saying he would be 'struck down'.

This Londonist is no stranger to death threats himself, but has yet to be threatened with something so old school.

A 'striking down' could presumably be carried out in a number of ways. There's the traditional flood of course. Back in his old testament days God loved his people so much that he had no choice but to drown them all. Apart from that one chap who had cornered the boat/zoo combo market. Didn't have room for the dinosaurs though - partly because they were evil and partly because they were made up by science.

Stoning is a good reliable one - although police these days tend to have all that fancy riot gear. God would need a pretty big stone. Like the one he made Sisyphus roll around. Oh no... hang on... wrong mythology.

Anyway, at least it wasn't a smiting he was threatened with. We hear those are really bad. God help the police if they start coveting their neighbour's asses because... well actually God wouldn't help them would he because he's the one doing the smiting for the whole ass coveting. And people wonder why Satan gets all the attention.

But we'll give the big G and the big J the chance to have a say (as usual it's just their fans making all the noise as they've been a bit quiet since the Holy Ghost left the band to jam with Odin and the Ragnarök Light Orchestra) - if a burning bush flares up under a desk or a guy in a loin cloth nips into the office and asks us to finger his holes we'll make sure we get an interview.

Last Updated 01 August 2006