Gig Review: The Loose Cannons

Dave Haste
By Dave Haste Last edited 152 months ago
Gig Review: The Loose Cannons
The Loose Cannons

The inside of 93 Feet East was absurdly hot last Saturday night. We’re talking very, very hot and humid here – imagine the Northern Line, at its busiest, on the hottest, stickiest day of the year. Hot hot hot hot hot. Damn hot.

So it’s not surprising then, that many of the club’s clientele had chosen to spend the evening outside in the courtyard, where there was a pleasant cooling breeze. Not so for us. We were standing as still as possible in the hottest room of the venue, awaiting the arrival on stage of The Loose Cannons (warning: very annoying website), because we had been told they ‘might be quite good’.

‘Good’? They would have to be musical miracle-workers to get us dancing in that energy-draining heat. And yet, when they took the stage and we noticed that the lead singer (the comically-named Kaiser Saucy) appeared to be wearing a suit with a pink fur coat over the top (ignoring alleged back-stage warnings that he would die from the heat), our own discomfort was put into perspective a bit.

As the band launched into their high-energy electro-funk-rock, Kaiser announced that he was ‘ice cold’ and proceeded to try to warm himself up by dancing like a super-camp lunatic. An impressive display in that heat, although it certainly made his face-paint run quite quickly.

As fascinating as Kaiser’s apparent bid for heatstroke-induced suicide may have been, the other aspects of the band’s performance were equally compelling. Visually, they approximated a mish-mash of glistening bikini-clad glamour and retro swank, revolving around their high-camp lead singer. Musically, they resembled a dirtier, funkier, punkier version of The Scissor Sisters (whom they have supported in the past). Imagine that The Scissor Sisters had chosen to use Depeche Mode as their inspiration instead of Elton John and you’d be… well nowhere near actually, but it’s the best analogy we can muster right now. Lyrically they were a bit challenged, but we had to smile at the track entitled “La la la la la la la la I’m not listening”.

Despite the heat, the band had no difficulty getting us (and the rest of the crowd) moving. No mean feat in those conditions, but their sheer dynamic energy was utterly irresistible. After their hour-long set, including a slightly rough-around-the-edges encore, they left the crowd ridiculously sweaty, but wanting more.

The Loose Cannons have something of a schizophrenic past. Kaiser Saucy and Lord Fader (the guitarist, apparently) started out as a DJ double-act, with some success, before deciding to hire a bunch of musicians and start a band. Not exactly a well-proven recipe for sure-fire success, but it’s definitely worked for these guys. We can’t wait to see them again, although preferably somewhere a bit cooler next time.

Last Updated 25 July 2006