A Man Who Is Very Cross Indeed

Dave Haste
By Dave Haste Last edited 155 months ago
A Man Who Is Very Cross Indeed
Axe Fun!

Normally, when we see headlines like ‘Axe-wielding madman on the rampage’, we tend to assume that there has been some journalistic exaggeration in achieving what must be a headline-writer’s wet dream. However, based on reports of a peculiar incident in North London, we have to concede that the headline actually appears to be a rather apt description in this case.

A man drove into Cockle Way at around 8pm and got out of a red van with an axe. He ran around the road, jumping over fences in and out of gardens, swinging the weapon as he went. He then smashed up a parked car before getting back into his van and driving off towards London Road.

Blimey. These do seem to be the actions of someone who is a bit ‘mad’, at least in temperament. However, one of the terrified local residents has another potential explanation for this sort of behaviour:

I think he was a traveller or a suspect who had escaped from somewhere.

Hmmm. To be honest, we’re not entirely sure that this explanation holds water. Firstly, this behaviour does seem to be somewhat atypical of the conduct of most travellers (or at least something of an exaggeration of their unfavourable stereotype). As for the theory that the man could be an ‘escaped suspect’, we’re having difficulty grasping that particular theory. Escaped? From where? The North London Prison For Suspects? Suspect? Of what? Could he be a serial axe-rampager?

To be honest, we think that an ‘escaped suspect’ would be more inclined to keep a low profile, rather than drawing unnecessary attention to himself with a spot of angry garden-hopping axe action.

Unless, of course, he was mad. Or a traveller.

Last Updated 08 May 2006