Morlock 1 Ready for Launch

By sizemore Last edited 154 months ago
Morlock 1 Ready for Launch

It's a sad fact of life that progress tends to spring forth from things that the world would otherwise be better off without - like war and sporting events.

For decades now we've all dreamt of retreating underground to gigantic subterranean cities where we can hang out at giant raves and curse the machines that now rule the surface in our stead. That utopia came one step closer to fruition today with the news that a gigantic 540-tonne boring machine is due to start work under the Thames.

It's only supposed to be extending the DLR in order to make it Olympic proof, but we all know that it only takes a Doug McClure flick of the wrist to send these things spiraling out of control straight to the earth's core, dinosaurs and hot cave chicks.

Interesting fact - at speeds approaching three metres per hour the Morlock 1 will actually be moving faster than regular traffic on the surface. We expect 4x4 drivers to switch to boring machines early next year to shave a few minutes off the school run.

Last Updated 03 April 2006