The Clarkson Effect

By sizemore Last edited 154 months ago
The Clarkson Effect

London 2026: We remember a time of chaos. Ruined dreams. This wasted land. But most of all, we remember The Road Warrior. The man we called "Jeremy". To understand who he was, you have to go back to another time. When the world was powered by the black fuel. That world crumbled. The cities exploded. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on men. On the roads it was a white line nightmare. Only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage would survive. The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a tank of juice. And in this maelstrom of decay, ordinary men were battered and smashed. Men like Jeremy. The warrior Jeremy. In the roar of an engine, he lost everything. And became a shell of a man, a burnt out, desolate man, a man haunted by the demons of his past, a man who wandered out into the wasteland. And it was here, in this blighted place, that he learned to host really annoying television again...

Wake up Clarkson... it's still 2006 and you haven't got your perfect world yet. Although according to Ken it's on the way and your name will live on:

Jeremy Clarkson is to blame for global warming and the possible destruction of life on earth, according to Ken Livingstone, the London mayor. Livingstone said areas of London threatened by flooding from melting polar ice were to be called Clarkson zones on a new London development plan “so people know who to blame when they’re flooded out of their home”.

Just tell us where to sign Ken up for Mayor for Life. Never a dull moment. The Times goes on to say that Livingstone has no licence and can’t drive, but we're sure we spotted him on a motorcycle last year...

Last Updated 13 March 2006