It's amazing what you can say in just five seconds:
"He was a sk8er boi she said see ya later boi."
"Alex is a hairy crotch monster".
"The Evening Standard is a scaremongering piece of crap".
Try it and see. You can say a LOT in just five seconds. That's why Ken's legal team are in a bit of a tizz over the fact that there's a five second gap on the tape currently being heard as evidence in the Nazigate hearings.
It's been suggested that the journo in question doctored the tape to remove the words "fuck off". We don't buy it simply because we've spent the morning seeing how many 'fuck offs' you can squeeze into five seconds and we reckon that while one expletive deletive per second is easy it's also possible to fit about fifteen swearwords into that gap.
Tim Morshead, the ethical standards officer, said that the missing five seconds was "a matter of complete irrelevance" and also that "It is a slur on his ([Finegold's] professional reputation as a journalist as having deleted part of an interview."
We can't help feeling that suggesting that a Standard journalist was anything less than professional is a little like this exchange from Pirates of the Caribbean:
Will Turner: You cheated!
Jack Sparrow: [shrugs] Pirate.
