Londonist was incredibly disappointed when the Daily Mail announced that they had succeded in snaffling Richard Littlejohn from the clutches of the Sun, as we'd actually put in a bid for his services ourselves. We knew that we couldn't hope to offer him the same kind of financial packagae he'll be picking up at the Daily Hate, but we'd hoped that our promises of the best seat in the Londonist dungeon (between Greg and Mike), exemption from tea-making duties and a free Londonist tea-towel (a promotion that never worked out) would be enough to tempt him.
You might ask why we would be so keen to have a high priest of Satan amongst our number. Well, because he would be perfect for stories like this .
Lambeth Council are being heckled by the 'anti-PC brigade' (why are they always a brigade? Can't they be a platoon or even a battalion? Much more impressive.) for referring to their 'Christmas Lights' as 'Winter Lights' in adverts for the switch-on event. Cue uproar, anger and condemnation all round. Imagine what fun Richard would have.
'Winter Lights' sounds like London's answer to the 'Northern Lights' phenomenon ..... "Daddy, what are those strange swirling multi-coloured lights?" ... "Well son, that's the reflection of the lights of a policevan bouncing off our smog-filled skys. Pretty isn't it?" Nope, 'Winter Lights' just doesn't cut it.
However we did get excited when learning that Lambeth also used the term 'Celebrity Lights'. We immediately imagined what a fantastic new Christmas/Winter event that would be - heading to your local high street on a frosty evening to watch a few Z-List celebs being slowly burned at the stake. You could even bring your own marshmallows.... "Dad, is that Jodie Marsh who just exploded?" Marvellous.