We figured after yesterday's love of The JCB Song you may be worrying that Londonist is getting a little soft. To rectify that we decided to trawl up some METAL* news for you and prove we're still caught in the proverbial mosh.
First up hands up everyone who remembers Poison. Nice. They were of course the straight to video version of Motley Crue - Christ knows what that makes Tigertailz (from Wailz). Anyway we have no idea if they're still together, still touring or even all still alive, but we can report that frontman Brett Michaels is still bringing out the best in people as someone took a shot at him in the non-ironic town of Chicopee in Massachusetts. Not that the police are that concerned:
"We don't have a suspect at this time, and we think it was probably just an act of vandalism... We don't think he was targeted. From the many witnesses we interviewed on the scene, it seemed like it was just a motorist driving by."
Shooting guns into buses = vandalism. Only in America folks.
Even The Independent loves the METAL and lowered its brow by sending Charlotte Cripp round to Tommy Lee's hotel room - worst mistake since Fay Wray sailed off to Kong Island:
Opening the door to his hotel suite at Blakes Hotel, in London, Lee, at 43 years of age, is every inch the charismatic rock star, sleek and sexy in black leather trousers and a white vest, and covered in tattoos. The room is a lavish deep red, resembling an opium den, with a four-poster bed and burning incense. "They say if you stay in a red room for too long, it makes you crazy," Lee says in a husky voice. "I like dark. I don't like bright. Bright is too hard on the soul... Mind you, four days ago, I stayed in a hotel in Dallas, Texas, and - you are gonna love this - it was called The Notorious Suite. It had a raised stage and stripper pole in it."
Poor girl never stood a chance.
Now it used to be all about the air guitar or if you were very daring perhaps a tennis racket and a wardrobe mirror, but welcome to the 21st century:
In Guitar Hero, choose to be one of six rock characters and perform at concert venues that grow in size as your music career progresses. RedOctane also has an exclusive deal with musical giant Gibson Guitar where a selection of famous Gibson electric guitars is available for characters to play. The game's set list includes over 30 licensed rock songs including tracks made famous by Franz Ferdinand, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Queens of the Stone Age, Audioslave, The Donnas, Sum 41 as well as such legendary artists Jimi Hendrix, David Bowie, Ozzy Osbourne, White Zombie, and The Ramones. The sleek, guitar-shaped Guitar Hero SG Controller designed by RedOctane, is held just like a real guitar and features five responsive fret buttons, a durable strum bar, a working whammy bar, and stylized START and SELECT buttons that resemble a guitar's actual volume knobs.
That's right - a game that finally allows you to get your fingers on Jimi's knob. Are we going to do our best to blag a review copy? Does the Pope take Jews out into the woods?
Speaking of Ozzy he's also in the news with one of those headlines that just make you wince - Ozzy defends his love for wife pre-plastic surgery. "Black Sabbath singer Ozzy Osbourne has slammed critics of his wife Sharon's look pre-plastic surgery, insisting he has always loved what's on her inside." The old school Ozzy would probably have been referring to her pancreas.
*Longtime Manowar fans will know the word METAL is never lowercase.