Long before there was a Londonist there was a city called London and on the whole it was a great place to live and work (although it desperately needed a dedicated blog). Those of us that embraced its multicultural heart rejoiced that we had found such a haven far from the small minded crap heaps that spawned us and we set out to join in with everyone else in an attempt to make the place even more interesting.
But even kittens and puppies get cancer and so it was with our new city in the form of the BN bloody P (first diagnosed as the National Front before mutating). We hadn't been here long when we found ourselves holding yellow placards high and marching against low browed men with skin heads and cheap tattoos (please note that any Londonist body art tends to cost a small fortune and that bulldogs and union jacks are not our ink of choice). Over the years the need for such marches seemed to lessen, but the BNP were always there - festering.
One day we awoke to find that they had done the unthinkable and actually gained 51.9% of the vote in Barking. The newly elected councillor soon stepped down when he realised that having a head for butting is not the same as a head for politics and he dragged his knuckles back into obscurity. Labour stepped up (although there had to be something wrong if the only way to voice protest was to let these dicks into power - no matter how small) and the BNP has been trying ever since to get their foothold back.
They must have been delighted when parts of London began to explode last Thursday and it wasn't long before their propaganda press was spewing out hate in the form of leaflets showing the shattered shell of the number 30 with the caption maybe it's time to start listening to the BNP.
Our immediate response was It'll be a cold day in hell before that happens, you racist fucks.
And after carefully considering the BNP's rational response to the tragedy the people of Barking and Dagenham replied by voting Labour back in again and turning their back once more on the small minded scum. The BBC picked up the winning candidate Alok Agrawal's comments after the result:
It was very sad using a national tragedy in order to try and gain votes. They thought people were fools. They thought people would fall into a trap. But the voters have massively rejected them. They have told the BNP 'We don't want you in Barking and Dagenham'.
Or anywhere with a breathable atmosphere in fact.
If that's too harsh and as it's been reported many times that 'way too many' people are trying to get into the country perhaps we could set up an exchange programme. We could allow BNP supporters a little permanent holiday (we hear Fallujah is nice this time of year) in exchange for people who want to add something to the UK rather than sit in be-flagged pubs quoting Alf Garnet and drawing swastikas on their beer mats.