The Ultimate Syndrome

By sizemore Last edited 158 months ago
The Ultimate Syndrome
ozzy.jpg

Straight people don't know, what you're about... They put you down and shut you out

After running into Kelly Osbourne at the She Makes War gig on Sunday night Londonist was wondering what the latest news was with her dear old dad. It turns out that Ozzy has finally been diagnosed with Parkin syndrome meaning that the shakes that have afflicted him for years (and have been a source of amusement for unfunny wankers like that dickhead on Dead Ringers) are nothing to do with drug or alcohol abuse:

"I'd always assumed it was the booze and stuff... Now I've found it all stems from the family... a doctor in Los Angeles tried to tell me I had multiple sclerosis. And I believed him until I had a second opinion. When I told my sisters she said, 'Not you as well? Mum had that and Auntie Elsie and your grandma.' I'm like, 'Thanks for f**king telling me'. Me walking around thinking I've got some drug paralysis."

Turns out that Ozzy will now have to take daily medication for the rest of his life to combat the involuntary tremors associated with the condition.

We're not too worried as Ozzy seems pretty indestructible and we're quite happy for him to continue milking MTV executives for as long as he lives. The man gave us some of the best music ever recorded which in our eyes gives him the right to do whatever the hell he wants. Anyone who takes the piss out of the guy does nothing but show their own lack of understanding and should be forcibly placed in a room and played Vol 4 twenty-four hours a day for a year.

Last Updated 10 May 2005