Happy Slapping Hits London

By london_luke Last edited 216 months ago
Happy Slapping Hits London

So you're standing there on the Tube, seething with rage after having changed trains three times due to a Job-like trial of passenger action, faulty trains and general incompetence on the part of London Underground Limited, and having just suffered a twelve minute intra-tunnel endurance test with only one foot really supporting your weight, pressed so close to your fellow sufferers that you're pretty sure you can count the change in their pockets and tell the religion of that nice man behind you.

The windows are steamed up, streaming the condensed exhaled breath of all and sundry, including the alcoholic who's presently drooling on your new coat. You finally pull into a station. You are at breaking point; your teeth are gritted and there is some serious pulsing action on the old temple veins.

All in all, a pretty normal day on the Tube, right?

Now imagine some chavvy little git walks up and slaps you across the face, all the while being filmed by his reprobate chum on his new camera phone. You've been "happy slapped". More than likely, before you know it you are the subject of much tweenie merriment.

People, this has arrived in London. All we here at Londonist can say is, it's only a matter of time before we see the first retaliatory lynching. Surely this is what the temporary insanity plea was invented for. Right?

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Last Updated 02 February 2005