Londonist received a press release this morning which struck such fear into our hearts we decided that we had to let you, the innocent public, know of its exsitence as quickly as possible, in order to avoid mass panic.
The release was headed Chesty, or dry and tickly mobile ringtone? Now we, at first, assumed that this was just another surreal Subject Line created by those zany spam overlords...but we were wrong.
"Next time you're on the train and hear that irritating cough, it may actually be a phone ringing! ‘Cough Tones’ are mobile ringtones brought to you by Pfizer, the manufacturer of Benylin cough medicine, and leading European digital media company Buongiorno."
Have you grasped the full horror of this idea yet dear reader? Benylin want you to make make your mobile phone sound like it's got a cold, and they want you to do it for the good pf the public's health.
"The attention-grabbing novelty forms part of a Benylin campaign to encourage people to identify the type of cough they have and choose the appropriate remedy...Visitors to the site can select one of three free Cough Tones - dry and tickly, loud and chesty or a mixture of both - which is then sent to their mobile."
And here is that website, but please tread carefully - the page actually makes horrible throaty coughing noises that then repeat until you leave the site. it actually left us feeling less healthy than before we visited.
Our favourite bit of the site is this extract from the Benilyn list of "tips to self-treat and help turn your cough off"
"It's good etiquette to take cough medicines that are used to ease the symptoms experienced by sufferers and reduce the irritation felt by those around coughers"
Oh, the irony.