What we're reading
- Four drivers admitted to falling asleep while operating Croydon trams.
- £12 billion worth of empty property in London.
- Are naked homes a solution to the housing crisis?
- A beautiful spot of camaraderie in the London Marathon, as a runner helps an exhausted competitor to the finish line.
- Sadiq Khan slams the government as incompetent, after major air pollution report is delayed until after the election.
- An ever so slightly tight squeeze.
Things to do today
NEW EXHIBITION: The UK Colour Pencil Society is showcasing work by established and emerging artists. Menier Gallery (Southwark), free, just turn up, 25 April-6 May
MEMORIAL UNVEILING: 64 freemasons earned the Victoria's Cross in the first world war. Commemorative stones will be unveiled in their honour in a ceremony open to the public. Freemasons' Hall, free, just turn up, 11am
SWINGING LONDON: Keep your hair on, we're talking about the 60s. Take this walking tour around the Oxford Circus area to find out how swinging the 60s really were, with particular focus on 1966. While England's football team was victorious, homelessness and poverty were raging. Oxford Circus station, £10/£7, book ahead, 6pm-7.45pm
FREAKS: Take an absurd journey via theatre and cinema of the ever changing human condition with Freaks. The Lost Theatre, £5/£6, book ahead, 6pm-9pm
VEGAN FOOD: It's time for some delicious environmentally responsible food. Pollen + Grace is a supper club providing fine vegan and gluten-free food. Sourced Market, £36, book ahead, 6.30pm
COCKTAILS AND CODING: This panel discussion deals with the under-representation of women in tech. Hear how men can support women in the industry, and ask whether coding is necessary. All over some delightful cocktails. Sanderson Hotel, £10, book ahead, 6.30pm-8.30pm
TEMPLAR POETRY: Poet Olive Broderick launches her debut collection, Night Divers, alongside Kathleen Jones who's launching her poetry pamphlet, Mapping Emily. Keats House (Hampstead), free, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm
LIFE DRAWING: Channel your inner Modigliani and draw two models in their full sensuality, in some classic poses from his art. The Underdog (London Bridge), £15, just turn up, 7pm-9pm
CLEVER DOGGY: It's often said that certain dogs are more intelligent than others, but how exactly can we know? Dr Rosalind Arden presents some Cosy Science, speaking on how to measure intelligence in dogs and why it's important to do so. The Cittie of Yorke, free, just turn up, 7pm-10pm
WEIRDO COMEDY: Welcome to Stonehenge (via Islington), brought to you by the Weirdos Comedy troupe. The Bill Murray (Islington), £7.50, book ahead, 8pm-10.30pm
Art review: sharks & snakes
Snakes serve as self-portraits of the artist; the beasts are suspended from the ceiling, while a blubbery nude sits atop a scooter. It's all completely over the top, filled wih political and consumerism. This exhibition is chaotic, but it's brilliant fun. Ashley Bickerton: Ornamental Hysteria at Newport Street Gallery, Newport street, SE11 6AJ, until 20 August, free ★★★★☆ (Tuesday-Sunday) Tabish Khan
Theatre review: bunker takeover
Cardboard Citizens have taken over the Bunker theatre to explore housing in Britain from the 1890s to today in a cycle of nine poignant, witty and powerful short plays. Weaving between the plays are vignettes, political films and musings on home and personal history from the cast (and audience), which are excellently executed, often very funny and give an important context to the plays themselves. The cast are excellent, and it's the quality of the performances — and the ease and adeptness with which the actors switch between roles — that made these productions so impressive. Not to mention the community cast made up of Cardboard Citizens members, whose appearances were brief but striking. Home Truths, The Bunker Theatre, 53a Southwark St, SE1 1RU, £12-35, until 13 May ★★★★☆ Savannah Whaley
Bar review: we're all mad here
Alice in Wonderland-inspired pop ups have been done to death; these days they must be brilliantly bonkers to impress. The Wonderland Bar does not disappoint. Down the rabbit hole that is The Vaults, you get to flamingle with flamingoes and have your fortune told by Gypsy Rose, while slurping on weird and wonderful Smith & Sinclair cocktails. And the Dodo's Dolce Vita mac 'n' cheese? Other-wordly. The Wonderland Bar, The Vaults, Launcelot Street, SE1 7AD ★★★★☆ (Tuesday-Sunday) Harriet Davis
Comedy review: plane crash comedy
Pam Ann has clocked up two decades' of comedy circuit air miles, so you've got to hand it to her. Actually, the acerbic air hostess hands it to herself, a deafening video montage opener blasts out her best bits... surely something she should be doing live tonight? That's followed by a weary audience participation skit that feels the length of a short-haul flight (the punchline? Four blokes dancing in wigs to the Spice Girls.) The auditorium, we admit, is turbulent with laughter — the die-hards must be in. But after a dire 'Great British Wank Off' video, we don our parachutes and bail out at the interval. Pam Ann: Touch Trolley Run To Galley, Leicester Square Theatre, 6 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX, £28-£35, until 27 May ★★☆☆☆ Will Noble
Good cause for the day
CELIDH: How about a good old fashioned arm stretching, ground shaking ceilidh soundtracked by wonderful live music. All proceeds go to Médecins Sans Frontières. Conway Hall, £20, book ahead, 29 April, 7pm-11.30pm
Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing...
London is a city of incredible transformation. With structural remains that date back to ancient history still in existence, this unique walking tour takes in Lost London in all its former glory. From the Titanic booking office to the graveyards of man's best friend, you'll discover the weird and wonderful places that used to exist in the capital but are now only committed to memory. Using old photographs, newspaper cuttings and stories from the past, you'll be amazed at what has largely been written out of our history books... Get tickets
Take to the waters and glide about in this beginner paddleboarding session. By the end of it, you'll be standing up and paddling solo, and there's plenty of help on hand to improve your technique. Change of clothes required. Get tickets
Cross gas lit alleyways and stroll by ancient pubs as you discover forgotten parts of London. See the world's smallest police station and visit London's most superstitious hotel on a walking tour covering everything weird, wonderful and London. £12 Get tickets
The afterlife is an intriguing subject, but how close to ghosts do we truly want to get? For those with a fascination of all things spooky, test your limits with The Westminster Ghost Walk. You'll explore this deeply historic and fascinating area of London and hear tales of ghosts, poltergeists and body snatchers along the way. Your experienced guide will lead you through dark alleyways, haunted buildings and human burial grounds - sharing the chilling secrets London has long been hiding in its past. Get tickets