Things to do
VAULT FESTIVAL: Today's new offering at the ongoing Vault Festival is Two Super Super Hot Men. The comedy theatre show is about (dis)connection with nature, and the power of imagination in a time of climate crisis, as told through two sound technicians in a rather warm studio. Waterloo Vaults, from £11, book ahead, 13-14 March
IRISH FILM FESTIVAL: Ahead of London's St Patrick's Day celebrations, the Irish Film Festival comes to town for a special St Paddy's edition. Things kick off today with a screening of new Irish short films, and new feature film Calm With Horses followed by a Q&A. Regent Street Cinema, various prices, book ahead, 13-15 March
HYDE PARK: Join a tour guide for a wander around Hyde Park, hearing some of its stories. Learn about the notorious criminals who met their end at the Tyburn Tree, and the park's instrumental role during the first world war. Visit the spot where Peter Pan had his first adventure in JM Barrie's novel, plus the usually off-limits Victorian Pet Cemetery. Hyde Park, £10, book ahead, 10.30am-12pm
LONELY COURAGE: Historian Rick Stroud talks about the heroines of the Special Operations Executive who fought to free Nazi-occupied Europe. His book, Lonely Courage, tells the stories of the 39 female agents recruited from all walks of life, the training they underwent, and the brutal deaths that some of them faced at concentration camps. National Army Museum (Chelsea), free, book ahead, 11.30am
PROFESSIONAL WOMEN: The Sex Disqualification (Removal) Act of 1919 was one of the most significant pieces of legislation in modern Britain, and should have opened the doors of the traditional professions to women — but what career opportunities did it really offer? Hear stories of the pioneering women who forged careers in the fields of medicine, law, academia, architecture, engineering and the church, paving the way for others to follow. National Archives (Kew), £5/£4, book ahead, 2pm-3.30pm
NORDIC COMICS: The comic and graphic novel industry is thriving in the Nordic region, and you can discover more about it at this event. Dr Nina Mickwitz from London College of Communication chats to Finnish comic artist Kaisa Leka and Karoline Stjernfelt, a comic book artist/author working in Copenhagen. They discuss contemporary comic cultures in the Nordic region, and share some of their own work. British Library, free, book ahead, 2pm-5pm
LONDON HANDEL PLAYERS: As part of London Handel Festival, the London Handel Players host a music party. They re-enact an evening of royal domestic chamber music inspired by Philip Mercier’s The Music Party, 1733, and perform arias from Handel’s Milton-based works, L’Allegro and Comus, as well as pieces by Leclair. The Foundling Museum (Bloomsbury), £25, book ahead, 7pm
ARABS ARE NOT FUNNY: It's an all-female line-up at the latest edition of Arabs Are Not Funny!, a comedy night which aims to smash that stereotype. Isabelle Farah, Leïla Ladari, Laila Alj, Jenna Al Ansari, Serine Ayari are all scheduled to appear, and all performances are in English. The event is part of Arab Women Artists Now. Rich Mix (Shoreditch), £12, book ahead, 8pm
BEARDED LADY: A second highlight at Vault Festival today is The Adventures of the Bearded Lady. Theodora van der Beek stars in the gender bending theatre show, which sticks two fingers up to a world that asks people to hide or change who they are. Waterloo Vaults, from £7.50, book ahead, 10pm
London weather with Inclement Attlee
Our idiosyncratic weather forecaster returns, keeping you up to date on London's skies.
Today's forecast is brought to you in ABAB rhyming scheme, with a 90s indie-rock theme — a format the Met Office seems oddly reluctant to explore.
Shirley Manson is not happy.
Francis Healy's not in town.
Thom Yorke is a thwarted chappie.
From a great height it won't rain down.
Contact Mr Attlee with any weather-related thoughts or pictures by emailing [email protected]; subject line "For Mr Attlee".
Tube ponderings with Barry Heck
Our resident tube fancier dishes out daily thoughts on the London Underground.
London's not the only city with a Northern line. Liverpool's Northern line, operated by Merseyrail, shares several features with its namesake in the capital. Stations include a Waterloo and Moorfields (we have a Moorgate, but it's in the area once commonly known as Moorfields). It also bifurcates as it heads north, with Sandhills station serving as the Scouse version of Camden Town.
Good cause of the day
Book ahead for Fourpure Global Gathering Festival on 21 March. Held at Fourpure Brewery in Bermondsey, with kegs donated by various breweries, the event raises money for Global Gathering's work supplying clean drinking water in Malawi. Find out more and book tickets.
What we're reading
- Chigwell residents form a 'coronavirus cleaning group'.
- A Kensington and Chelsea resident describes her coronavirus isolate as 'scary'.
- The amount of cocaine in London's sewers has dropped.
- An HIV hospital in Bethnal Green once supported by Princess Diana is set to shut.
- A young Brockley restauranteur, behind the awesome Masala Wala, is fundraising for her cancer treatment.
