Things to do this weekend is sponsored by Royal Naval College.
FOOD FEST: If you were stranded on a remote desert island, what would be your ultimate desert island dish? That's the question catered for at this festival of food, music and fun. Stock up on tokens, because we're told you're going to want to eat a lot. Red Market (Old Street), free entry, just turn up, 14-16 July
WIMBLEDON FINAL: As the tennis action draws to a close in SW19, stay up to date with the final matches on these free screenings on big screens around the capital, including public squares and rooftops. Various location, free entry, just turn up, until 16 July
FOODSTOCK: Imagine the legendary Woodstock, but for food. That's how tasty this festival is, with a whole two days of street food, live music and local craft beer to salivate over. Battersea Park, £1-£5 entry, book ahead, 15-16 July
WALTHAMSTOW GARDEN PARTY: Lloyd Park once again hosts Walthamstow Garden Party, a free, family festival showcasing talent from the Walthamstow area. Expect live music, theatre performances, cinema, craft, design, poetry and delicious food and drink. Get there early — 30,000 people turned up last year, and it's limited capacity. Lloyd Park, free, just turn up, 15-16 July
AFRICA UTOPIA: Most people will never visit every country in Africa, so get a flavour of the continent at Africa Utopia Festival. The range of talks, workshops, music, performances, fashion and food will give an insight into all countries — we've got our eyes on the African food market. Southbank Centre, various prices, 15-16 July
HYPER JAPAN: Tobacco Dock is once again a hotspot for Japanophiles and Weeaboos as Hyper Japan returns with more food, fashion, shopping, and music. Don't miss out on the Sake Experience. Tobacco Dock, £15-£24, book ahead, 14-16 July
Saturday 15 July
HYDE PARK: Explore wild meadows in the heart of London on this walk through Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens. There's even a chance to discover the secret life of bugs, as you use a sweep net and magnifiers to capture and observe a host of resident invertebrates. The Education Centre (Hyde Park), £5, book ahead, 10.30am-midday
SECRET GARDENS: From the dreamy St-Dunstan-in-the-East church garden to Cross Bones, an old burial ground for paupers and prostitutes, there are plenty of secret gardens to discover. This walk reveals some of these beautiful sites and the history behind them. Monument, £4, book ahead, 11am-2pm
VEGAN BEER FEST: Spanning three spaces, this festival features a beer hall, beer market and a beer and wine cafe. So pretty much beer, beer and more beer, which sounds perfect to us. It's all vegan too. Hackney Downs Studios, £5-£9, book ahead,11am-8pm
10K SECRET MISSION: It's a race against the clock to solve a murder mystery and win a prize in this cryptic team challenge. The year is 1698. The ever-curious Samuel Pepys will get you up to speed on the case, and then you're off to interview witnesses and interrogate suspects. North Greenwich/Deptford Bridge, £19-£25, book ahead, 11.30am-1pm
BOTTOMLESS PROSECCO: One of the biggest fads in London, brunch will probably never feel the same unless you have prosecco on tap as they do at Sanctum Soho. Executive Head Chef James Cathcart has crafted a menu of beautifully built breakfast pots and fairtrade eggs. Sanctum Soho, £35, book ahead, 11.30am-2.30pm
STREET PARTY:The annual Whitecross Street party returns with a line up of performances from artists and the local community, as well as family friendly activities, cocktails and live music, all close to Barbican. Whitecross Street (Islington), free, just turn up, noon-6pm
REFINED BRITAIN: What ho! Chaps and chapesses should pull on their finest vintage wear for Chap Olympiad, possibly the most bonkers sporting experience London has to offer. Partake in the surreal Moustache Envy game or the rather naughty Riding Crop Rumpus. Bring a picnic or grab a Pimms and food from the stalls as you take in this joyfully British afternoon of eccentric delights. Bedford Square Gardens, £25, book ahead, noon-9pm
CIDERDOG: If you're in the mood for a staggering selection of 100+ reasonably priced British ciders (and let's be honest, who isn't?), then this is the one for you. All tastes are catered for, from very sweet to super dry at this cider festival, where all festival ciders are £3.50 a pint. The Miller (London Bridge), free, just turn up, noon-late
LIBERTY FESTIVAL: Liberty Festival at Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park celebrates deaf and disability art and sport. Have a go at wheelchair basketball or sitting volleyball, watch a deaf dance group perform a fusion of dance and sign language, visit a specially-commissioned exhibition and more. Olympic Park (Stratford), free, just turn up, 1.30pm
ART JAM: What art really needs is a DJ. Thankfully Paint Jam London has us sorted with a prosecco reception on arrival at this arty party, followed by intro art exercises on paper, then the chance to move onto your own canvas. Let your creatively flow, mingle and go home with an original artwork. Secret Holborn space, £30-£102, book ahead, 7pm-10pm
THE SMITHS: The entirety of The Smiths' album Strangeways, Here We Come peppers the set at tonight's How Does It Feel To Be Loved? club night. Dance to classics including I Started Something I Couldn't Finish and Girlfriend in a Coma. Other tracks — from indie jangle-pop to Motown — means there's more to this night than big quiffs and gladioli. The Phoenix, £6.60, book ahead, 9pm-3am
Get up close to some of Europe's best artwork
Got a head for heights? There's a new way to see the exquisite Baroque paintings that line the walls and ceilings of the Painted Hall at the Old Royal Naval College.
Rather than admiring them from the ground, you can now ascend a 60ft high observation deck and get up-close to the artwork, exploring the mysteries and intricacies of these masterpieces.
The Hall's 40,000sq ft of paintings are being restored in a major conservation project. On this limited edition tour you'll see the conservators at work too, watching them bring the art back to their former glory. This is the first time in half a century that visitors have been allowed to get up close to the paintings, so don't miss it. Find out more here.
Sunday 16 July
FAMILY FUN: 'Princess Freda', a Dunkirk Little Ship is offering free boat trips, departing Chiswick Pier every 45 minutes. There's a great selection of stalls to entertain the children, freshly cooked BBQ food and a bar on hand, too. Chiswick Pier, free, just turn up, 11.30am-4pm
DRAGON RACE: Head to the annual Kingston Dragon Boat Race for a day of family fun, complete with face painting and Thames-side antics. The Boaters Inn, free, book ahead, noon-10pm
WORLD CULTURE: Enjoy an afternoon of free dance, theatre, music and circus from around the world at Greenwich World Cultural Festival, which is returning for its ninth year running. Eltham Palace and Gardens, free entry to festival (usual charge for entry to Palace), just turn up, 12.30pm-5pm
POWER OF PLANTS: From beautiful to medicinal, Keats knew the power of plants. Sow your own health-giving herb while learning more about herbs and flowers on this Family Day. Keats House (Hampstead), free, just turn up, 1pm-4pm
BIG BAND: Fans of smooth jazz and toe-tapping funk will enjoy an afternoon of big band beats at the Hideaway Jazz Club. The first half will see covers of jazz classics from Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Buddy Rich and Woody Herman. A decade of funk will be condensed into the second half. Hideaway Jazz Club (Streatham), £10, book ahead, 1.00pm-5.30pm
WOMEN AND WAR: In a performance that will set your heart pounding in more ways than one, a love affair between Nazi officer Anneliese Kohlmann and one of her female Jewish prisoners in Neuengamme Concentration Camp plays out on stage in Under the Skin, based on the Belsen trial protocol of Kohlmann, and on Holocaust survivors' testimonies. The Streatham Hill Theatre, £10/£8, book ahead, 2pm/ 7pm
Food review: shining, shimmering, splendid
For their latest afternoon tea, bakery wizards Cutter & Squidge have turned their attention to all things genie. The decor is spectacular (think shiny things — everywhere) and the food is a triumph, incorporating everything from pashmak (a Turkish candyfloss) to ‘magic carpet’ shortbread. Their signature biskies make a welcome appearance too, topped with 24 carat gold flakes in keeping with the theme. The savoury snacks don’t quite hit the mark — the scones are a tad on the dry side — but really, we’re in it for the sweet stuff. Fans of flavoured teas are well catered for too — the pineapple is particularly refreshing. Genie’s Cave Afternoon Tea at Cutter & Squidge, 20 Brewer Street, Soho, W1F 0SJ ★★★★☆ Laura Reynolds
Good cause for the weekend
CHARITY WALK: Register for free and get moving for a good cause in the annual charity walk organised by the Croydon Sickle Cell and Thalassaemia Support Group. Follow along with their warm up exercises and then take part in the walk. There will also be various fun activities for kids, so bring the whole family. Dulwich Park, free, book ahead, 15 July, 11am-3pm
Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing...
Learn about London's debauched, drunken and disorderly history on this tour of the sordid side of the West End. Have you heard the story of the 15ft high tsunami of beer which rushed through the streets of London? Or about London's unluckiest theatre and most morbidly-located church? This tour will take you from the Covent Garden to Somerset House, entertaining you with tales of hangmen and criminals, prostitutes and paupers and the eccentric characters of Georgian London along the way. Get tickets
Camden's known for its street art, but how much do you really know about it? Explore the street art of Camden, and learn about the people who make it from an insider. You''ll visit pieces of street art that are off the beaten track, and get an insight into their possible meaning and inspiration. This two-hour tour will enable you to see Camden in a new light. Get tickets
Visit old pubs, even older churches, hidden rivers, mysterious tunnels and more on this tour of hidden Londo. You'll hear tales of the myths and legends which made the City of London what it is today, and find out the area's links to nursery rhymes and literary figures. Get tickets
Get sorted into one of the four magical houses of Hogwarts, and go in exploration of the city’s famous filming locations on this 2-hour walking tour. You’ll meet your guide outside the Palace Theatre, where Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is showing, and set off on your journey across town - following in the footsteps of Deatheaters, visiting the inspiration for Knocturn Alley, and marvelling at the Ministry of Magic. And you better brush up on your Potter knowledge, because you can earn points for your house along the way, by taking part in trivia quizzes. The winners? You’ll find out when the tour ends at Platform 9 3/4… Get tickets]