Things To Do This Weekend In London: 14-15 October 2017

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All weekend

Get into the swing of things at Tate Modern's newest Turbine Hall installation. © Tate Photography

ONE TWO THREE SWING!: The heavier the swing the more force you'll have to propel the swing, so take two mates along next time you plan on hanging out at the Tate, where 30 sets of swings have been installed by Danish artist collective SUPERFLEX. Tate Modern, free, just turn up, until 2 April 2018

LONDON LIT FESTIVAL: Hilary Clinton, Tom Hanks and Annie Leibovitz are among the big names appearing at this year's literary festival but there's plenty of poetry readings, author chat and book recommendations too. Southbank Centre, various prices, book ahead, 13 October-1 November

BEER FEST: The Heist Bank Beer Festival is pulling pints from more than 30 breweries, including headliners Fourpure, Beavertown, Thornbridge and Wild Beer Co. Soak up the booze with hog roast flatbreads and beer muffins. Heist Bank, £15 (includes two beer tokens, one food token), book ahead, until 15 October

VINYL ART: This weekend is your last chance to see colourful tributes to iconic vinyl records from south London-based artist Martin Grover, who also paints London streets, bus routes and shop fronts. For Arts Sake (Bond Street), free, just turn up, until 15 October

HERE AND NOW: The London captured by street photographer Niall McDiarmid is raw, colourful and real, just how we like it. Museum of London, free, just turn up, until 15 October

WHY MUSIC? This three-day musical extravaganza sees musicians, scientists and experts delve into the reasoning behind our love of music. Wellcome Collection, free, book ahead, 13-15 October

Saturday 14 October

Comedy on ice? Why not.

BACH TO BABY: Outstanding musicians, inspiring venues and lots of future rockstars. Bach to Baby throws fun, family-friendly concerts, where all children go free. Today, it's an autumn-themed concert featuring recorders and piano. St Thomas' Church (Balham), various prices, book ahead, 10.30am

CHARITY CABARET: With a photography exhibition, balloon sculptures, origami workshops, a blues band and a cabaret show, there's plenty to get stuck into at this charity event raising money to help HIV-affected orphans. Stour Space (Hackney Wick), £7,  just turn up, 10am-11.30pm

OPEN DAY: Back on the house hunt? Take a couple of hours out of your Saturday to view the gorgeous one, two and three bedroom apartments at Meridian Gate in Kidbrooke Village. You never know, you could leave with a new home. Kidbrooke Village, book ahead, 11am-2pm (sponsor)

PET CEMETERY WALK: So you've fed the ducks, dipped your toes in the Diana Memorial Fountain, and had many a picnic in Hyde Park but have you ever visited the pet cemetery? Now's your chance to get acquainted with this quiet corner on a tour. Hyde Park, £15, book ahead, 11am, 1pm, 3pm

AFRICA ON THE SQUARE: Expect live music, dancing, food stalls, fashion shows and a talent show at this colourful event celebrating African arts and culture. Trafalgar Square, free, just turn up, noon-6pm

DANCE BATTLE: See a dance battle that'll put your Saturday night moves to shame as the best UK and international crews compete for a place at the World Finals in Berlin. Albany Theatre (Deptford), £17, book ahead, noon-9.30pm

BLACK HISTORY: Historian Stephen Bourne discusses the military and civilian wartime experiences of black Britons, drawing from his recent book Black Poppies. Ticket holders will also get to look around the Friends of Burgess Park's Zeppelin 1917 exhibition. The Old Library, Burgess Park, £5, book ahead, 2pm-3pm

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH: It's not often you can say a night out made you feel empowered, hopeful or galvanised, but that's just how you'll feel when you're dancing to Benjamin Zephaniah and his band Revolutionary Minds. Jazz Cafe, £25, book ahead, 7.30pm

TONY ON ICE: Comedy nights in grotty pub back rooms are so 2016. Now we want all dancing, all singing comics on ice skates AND we want an after-show Ice Disco, which is just what you get at Tony Law's Battle for Icetopia. Alexandra Palace, £15/£17.50, book ahead, 8pm-10pm

Sunday 15 October

What phrases lift your mood? Turn them into art at this Survival Techniques workshop. © Naomi Edmondson

CLASSICAL COFFEE MORNING: Eat your breakfast in awe of the musical geniuses from Royal College of Music. Royal Albert Hall, £13, book ahead, 11am

SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES: Don't knock an inspirational quote, they may be cheesy but they can also be uplifting, as Naomi Edmondson proves in this workshop. Create your own typographic artwork of feel-good phrases. Hackney Downs Studios, £20, book ahead, 11am-1pm

FORAGING WALK: John the Poacher sorts out east London's hippest restaurants with the freshest ingredients from his foraging trips. Join him as he shares his tips, rules and maybe even some of his spoils. Aho Studio, £35, book ahead, 11am-4.30pm

LADY FESTIVAL: The music scene is full of enterprising ladies spinning tunes but it's rare you get to see so much female talent in one place. Enter LADY festival, which is celebrating its first birthday with a huge lineup of female artists stretching from soul, latin and jazz to rock, pop and electronica. Pop Brixton, free, just turn up, noon-11pm

DIWALI FESTIVAL: More than 35,000 people gather every year to dance, eat and laugh at the vibrant Diwali Festival, which celebrates the Hindu, Sikh and Jain festival of lights. Trafalgar Square, free, just turn up, 1pm-7pm

DANCE WORKSHOP: A lively introduction to Caribbean cultural dance for children aged 5+, followed by an African Dance for Adults class. Lewisham Arts Centre, £2/£6, book ahead, 1.15pm-3pm

SLAVERY AND SATIRE: See previously unseen objects charting the shared history of London's Black and Jewish communities as part of the Migration Festival programme. Jewish Museum, £8, book ahead, 2pm-2.45pm

30 PUBS: Incredibly, there are 30 pubs along Holloway Road. Jane Parker leads a tour of the north London street and its many watering holes. 'Learn about about breweries and delicacies, live music and dead bodies, courts and sports, transport, a tank and some nonsense.' £18 (concessions available), book ahead, 2.30pm-6pm

HURRICANE FUNDRAISER: We've all seen those devastating images after Hurricane Irma hit the Caribbean. Now's your chance to do your bit at a fundraiser filled with music, poetry, dancers, speakers, bands, food and rum punch. Greenwich Theatre, £7-£15, book ahead, 3pm

EMBANKMENT TOUR: One way to see lots of lovely bits of London in one go is to join this tour, which takes in Embankment Gardens, Westminster Gardens and St Paul's Cathedral. Westminster station, free (pay what you can), book ahead, 5pm

TORCHLIT TALES: Easily spooked? Best give this torchlit cemetery walk a miss then, particularly as the gatekeeper tells chilling ghost stories as you pick your way through the tombstones. Dissenters' Chapel (Kensal Green), £12, book ahead, 7.30pm-9pm

Funzing

Fun things to do with our friends and sponsor Funzing.

The Harry Potter Christmas Tour


Get sorted into one of the four magical houses of Hogwarts, and go in exploration of the city’s famous filming locations on this 2-hour walking tour. You’ll meet your guide outside the Palace Theatre, where Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is showing, and set off on your journey across town - following in the footsteps of Deatheaters, visiting the inspiration for Knocturn Alley, and marvelling at the Ministry of Magic. And you better brush up on your Potter knowledge, because you can earn points for your house along the way, by taking part in trivia quizzes. The winners? You’ll find out when the tour ends at Platform 9 3/4… Get tickets

Psychology of Attraction


Sex & Relationship mentor Colin Richards will will explain how our early life influences effect our attractions to others and our subsequent sexual behaviours. Colin will also then show you how by adopting a new way of listening and communicating, you can go a long way to overcoming repeated behaviour patterns to achieve the relationship and sexual connection you really want. Get tickets

Learn How to Shoot Like Robin Hood


Ever fancied yourself as Robin Hood? Join the 2020 archery team in London Bridge and discover how to shoot. The 1.5 hour 'get started in archery' class will teach you how to shoot (relatively) accurately as well as the scoring system and key archery terminology. The session finishes with a mini-competition where you can show off your new-found skills. Hit bullseye and get your tickets: http://bit.ly/2kyov7a (sponsor) Get tickets

East London Food Tour


Feast on the tastes of the East End... Chomp on pie and mash from a restaurant that's been open since 1900, and visit Russell Brand's not-for-profit café. There are seven stops in the food and drink tour across Shoreditch and Hoxton, so you better come hungry! Get tickets