This June, a waxwork likeness of a Greggs sausage roll will go in display at Madame Tussauds.
Bake fake news? Absolutely not! On Thursday 5 June (which just so happens to be National Sausage Roll Day), a Greggs sausage roll was unveiled at Madame Tussauds, perched on a blue velvet cushion, atop a plinth — immortalised as a waxwork.
When you say waxwork... Apparently it's been through the usual rigorous Tussauds making process, using the same traditional plaster moulding method as Madame Tussaud herself: sample measurements, clay moulds, wax sculpts, hand-painted details — the lot. According to the press release, the team studied dozens of individual Greggs Sausage Rolls to ensure they captured its 96 flaky layers of pastry, and "unmistakable golden glaze". Uh huh, 'studied' dozens of sausage rolls...
And when you say immortalised... To be fair, very few figures are actually immortalised at Madame Tussauds; whether after months or decades, most end up with their heads/hands lopped off and put into storage, while the rest of them is melted down. As for the sausage roll? It will only be around for the month of June. At which point it'll be liquefied and reconstituted into a steak bake. Maybe.
Where exactly can I find it? As a "bona fide British icon" (press release's words), the sausage roll will be placed in the Culture Capital Zone, alongside such luminary likenesses as Stormzy, Shakespeare and David Attenborough. Although given Attenborough's animal-loving credentials, perhaps we should pretend this particular pastry is of the vegan variety.
Is that a Blue Plaque I see too? Well, a blue plaque (lower case) anyway — pretty sure English Heritage haven't sanctioned this one. On it, we learn that the Greggs sausage roll shares a birth year with Phil Collins, Sting and Robin Williams. As far as we can tell, only the latter currently has a waxwork on display at London's Madame Tussauds. Imagine being out-famed by a sausage roll. And with 365m Greggs sausage rolls sold each year, it's outselling Phil and Sting too.
