Depending which side of the royal fence you sit on, London's got off quite lightly/been thoroughly deprived when it comes to Harry and Meghan's impending nuptials. Windsor's bearing the brunt of the event (and you're far too late to jump on that bandwagon), meaning London should be free of the road closures, processions and general inconvenience that William and Kate's wedding brought back in 2011.
That doesn't mean it'll be a wedding-free zone, but if you want no part of it, here's what else is going on in London on 19 May 2018. We already know that the FA Cup is taking place at Wembley, and we reckon the majority of the city's pubs will be rammed, screening one or other of these two big events. Here's what else is on that weekend.
Museums at Night
19 May is the final day of 2018's Museums at Night festival, when cultural institutions keep their doors open later to let the public go behind the scenes. 2018's full programme has yet to be announced, but keep an eye on this page closer to the time.
Yeah, food. If that's piqued your interest, get yourself down to the penultimate day of Surbiton Food Festival. Yes, Kingston's a Royal Borough, so it's not one for those of you who are avoiding all things royal, but console yourself with a burger or sausage roll. Again, the 2018 programme hasn't been finalised at time of writing, but we're expecting good things.
Vroom, vroom. Who needs poncey golden carriages when the UK's largest car retail event is in town? Over 150 vehicles will be on display at the London Motor Show at ExCel, plus there will be talks, demonstrations and the like to please all manner of petrolheads.
Exhibition basketball team Harlem Globetrotters bring their world tour to Wembley Arena, showing off all their slam-dunking, ball-handling, trick shot skills — skills which have earned the team the best winning percentage in the history of professional sports (they've only lost 0.987% of their games over nine decades). The players will be taking photos with fans and signing autographs afterwards, which is likely more than Brenda and co. will be doing on Harry's big day.
Bit of a disclaimer on this one: it takes place at Wembley Arena on the same day that the FA Cup final takes place at Wembley Stadium. You've been warned.
South African comedian Trevor Noah has, in the space of under four years, gone from trying out new material in the confines of Soho Theatre to taking to the stage at the O2 Arena. It's his only UK date on this particular tour, and the first time he's performed here in two and a half years. Guaranteed funnier than anything Prince William'll put in the best man's speech.
Nothing screams 'royal wedding' like heavy metal, so why not book yourself tickets to see American band Machine Head live at Roundhouse. They've been going for 26 years and have just recorded their ninth album.
Last chance to see
Why not take the opportunity to catch up on some of London's current exhibitions? We reckon the combination of wedding and FA Cup will mean a lot of people will be either at home or in the pub, watching proceedings on TV. That, in turn, means museums and galleries should be quieter — ideal for seeing the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition at Natural History Museum if you haven't already, or perhaps Art of Terror: Art since 9/11 at the Imperial War Museum, which closes the following week.