We Couldn't Be Bothered To Eat Any Christmas Sandwiches This Year, So We Made These Reviews Up

Will Noble
By Will Noble Last edited 78 months ago

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Last Updated 23 November 2017

We Couldn't Be Bothered To Eat Any Christmas Sandwiches This Year, So We Made These Reviews Up

We've done the whole 'rating Christmas sandwiches' gubbins before, but were tragically given the festive terrors by a particularly noxious beef wellington concoction in 2016. So this year, we've decided to totally make up the Christmas sandwiches, pretend to eat them, then pretend to review them.

Call it a stroke of Christmas genius; call it a yuletide breakdown — we're off for a quinoa salad.

Lots of juicy venison, but too much greenery

The Richmond Park Xmas Sandwich

The abundance of juicy venison makes for a nice twist on the usual meat. But as with so many festive sandwiches, there's way too much greenery. ★★★☆☆

The Walkie-Talkie Festive Baguette

A towering turkey of a baguette that's loathed by the traditionalists and lauded by avant garde bread munchers. Unfortunately, it struggles to hold its shape, with all the filling squishing up to the top. Looks like it might collapse at any moment. ★★☆☆☆

Hardly a masterpiece

Tate Modern 'Abstract Xmas' Sandwich

Not so much a Christmas sandwich, as a drawing of one. We pondered it for three hours and in the end, came to the conclusion that the filling is sloppily drawn, even if the turkey is deliciously rendered. ★★★☆☆

Central line Christmas Crush

Way too much stuffing. Overpriced too.


Mind the slicing doors

Southern Rail Bank Holiday Special

Hasn't arrived on the shelves yet. ☆☆☆☆☆

Santa Con Casserole

Not strictly a sandwich, but we had to include it. This is more of a boozy casserole of vegetables poached in Newkie Brown/their own juices. The casserole spills out all over the place, and once finished, requires a lot of mopping up. ★☆☆☆☆


Original tube picture from pallab seth in the Londonist Flickr pool.

Santa picture by psyxjaw in the Londonist Flickr pool.