TripAdvisor's got a lot to answer for, encouraging the people of the internet to share their views on pretty much anything with the rest of the world. Sure, it's handy when you're choosing between The Ritz and The Savoy (FYI, it's pretty much neck and neck when it comes to review ratings, so why not spend a night in each?), or when you want to know whether those Madame Tussauds queues are worth it. But there are some things that just don't need reviewing.
Here's what TripAdvisor's keyboard critics have to say about the Woolwich Ferry. At time of writing, 50 people have reviewed it, averaging out at 4/5:
Joyce from Maidstone is keen to point out that "there is no formality about boarding". Perhaps she thought she was off on a cruising jolly round the Med, rather than a quickie across the Thames — her surprise that it really is free does little to quell our suspicions. She's showing her true colours as a non-Londoner too, suggesting it as an option for when you're "not in a hurry". You're not in Maidstone anymore Joyce. We're Londoners here, and we're always in a hurry.
Then there's Maggie C, who's overjoyed that she managed to dodge traffic jams... by sitting in a queue for 30 minutes. What you've done there Mags, is you've sat in a traffic jam for 30 minutes.
"I only went there because the sat nav took us that way" is not the most convincing of plaudits, but mouseHerts managed to turn a happy accident into a 5* adventure.
Theonlybigman is a fella after our own hearts, lamenting the lack of Duty Free on board. He's wrong about it being London's last free ride though — are you going to tell him about this, or are we? Either way, the wife's in for a treat when he finds out.
Perhaps (s)he's a friend of Joyce from Maidstone, as Silent H also seemed to be expecting a bit more from the vessel, namely: signposting. It's a ferry. You're on it for five minutes. All you really need to know is: water. Not water. Step on the latter, not on the former and it'll all be dandy.
Last but not least, there's Ephraim who, quite frankly, baffles us. No single word in the English language screams "sitting on the fence" like "okayish". Presumably, the given journey times include queuing times — if it took the ferry 30 minutes to cross, it wasn't the Woolwich Ferry you were on, Ephraim. Were you perhaps swimming?
The majority of TripAdvisor reviewers seem to agree that it's a very nostalgic trip, and worth doing if only once. Here's what we thought of it when we took a trip in January 2016. And if you're undecided between taking the tunnel and the ferry — well, have a watch of this: