Boris Johnson is the new Mayor of London. The Blond received 1,043,761 (43%) first preference votes compared to Livingstone's 893,877 (37%), with Paddick gaining just 10% of the vote. With neither main candidate reaching the magic 50%, second preference votes were taken into account, giving Boris a victory of 1,168,738 votes over Ken's 1,028,966. The result mirrors local election results all over the UK, where the Conservatives have delivered a savage mauling to Labour......

Here's an idea. Build temporary cofferdams in historic stretches of the Thames so that archaeologists can really get to work. It's amazing what you can find beneath a river that's served a city for 2000 years. Image by M@. Got an idea for a Touch Up London? Check out our archives, and send your own figments to londonist - at gmaildotcom.......

Another entry from Roll the Dice, showing a cunning method of crossing Tower Bridge without being stopped by tourists. Check out more Touch Ups in our archive and, if you feel inspired, send in your own photoshopped imagery of the capital to londonist - at - gmail.com.......

London and its environs - if Google maps had a cultural bias setting. We want your distorted images of London. Have a look through our archives, be inspired, and send entries to londonist at gmail dot com. Image by M@......

Regular reader Mehrdad collects unusual look-a-likies on his blog Aref-Adib. His latest discovery is that the Tube can bear a striking resemblance to the work of Dutch neo-plasticist (hey, we can use Wikipedia) Piet Mondrian.......

It's still difficult to tell how the mayoral race is going - where are all the opinion polls? But there's no doubt that, in the past week, the Livingstone campaign has made a huge effort to get its show on the road. The launch of his transport manifesto at Stratford station on Monday was designed to invite the most damning of comparisons between the present mayor's apparent grasp of the scale and complexity of......

If we were Mayor, we'd order more bendybuses, not fewer as Boris would like. But why settle for just one concertina point? We'd fuse together all remaining double-deckers into a superomnibendysnake to convey tourists about town. All aboard! Please let us know what you'd do if you were Mayor via the medium of Photoshop. Send all entries to londonist - at - gmail - dot - com and we'll sort out some kind of......

At first glance, this looks like a rather pleasant alternative to the Millennium Bridge - a verdant, undulating span like nothing else in London. But look at what's written along the side and you may feel your gorge begin to rise. The Diana Memorial Bridge is one of dozens of abandoned London schemes in a long-running thread on skyscrapercity forums. These include an X-rated erotic gherkin, a bulbous colander for Trafalgar Square and, our......

This week, our first literal touch up, as two of London's temporary statues get up close and personal. The image comes from Mike Miller, father of US rapper Wrekonize, whose malsized form can be seen squatting on the fire escape. No, we don't understand either. Please send in your distorted images of London to londonist - at gmail - dot com......

Here we see a herd of Metropolitanus bestialacus encountering their rare, six-legged cousins the Metropolitanus aureus on the plains of the Serengeti. Indigenous to arid lands, these animals have evolved capacious water cavities along their backs to preserve the precious rainfall. Original background image from Kumasawa's Flickr photostream.......

One of London's more remarkable tower blocks has begun construction. Strata, also called the Electric razor for not unfathomable reasons, will soon begin to rise from a site just south of Elephant and Castle, reports skyscrapernews. The 147 m structure is wholly residential, with 399 apartments, a quarter of which are earmarked for social housing. This is no ordinary high-rise. At its summit, three huge wind turbines will set a green example visible for......

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Gold, frankincense, myrrh. What are these to a small child? If the magi were really such wise men, they'd have headed to Regent Street, where Hamleys and the Disney Store provide all the playthings a growing Saviour needs. Please send festively themed Touch Up London entries to londonist - at - gmail - dot com......

The queues are already forming outside Buckingham Palace to see what lurks behind door number 21. Will it be the Star of Bethlehem? Or Michael Fagin? We'll be running a seasonal Touch-up every day until Christmas, so please send entries to londonist - at - gmail dot com. Source image from koltregask's Flickr photostream.......

Alain Robert isn't the only one scaling London's buildings. Poor old Santa's having a hard time of it in Battersea. Does he just use one chimney, or should he scale all four? And do the resident Cybermen deserve Christmas presents anyway? We'll be featuring a seasonal Touch-up every day until Christmas, so please send entries to londonist - at - gmail - dot com......

So, back to our Christmas theme today, with this mouthwatering picture of St Paul's standing atop Pudgate Hill. The dripping roof no doubt tastes a lot better than its counterpart of 1666. During the Great Fire, the lead roof of Old St Paul's melted, and a plumbate river oozed through the burning town. We'll be featuring a festive 'Touch Up' every day until Christmas, so please send entries to Londonist - at -gmail -......

OK, so we're going to take a break from our daily dose of yuletide touch-ups to show you this creation from reader Hugh Macdonald. His idea might be just what the capital needs to power all those Christmas lights. Three cheers for genetic modification. From tomorrow, we'll be featuring a Touch-up London every day until Christmas. So send seasonal entries to londonist - at - gmail dot com.......

Before the demolition of Old London Bridge, whose narrow arches restricted the flow, the Thames used to freeze over in the coldest winters. In such years, the denizens of London would gather on the ice for a frost fair. Here's how it might look today. Although we suspect that icing over the Thames would be easier than freezing modern health and safety rules. As a yuletide bonus, we'll be doing a seasonally themed Touch......

Last week we challenged you to peer into alternative universes and find out what London would have been like had history taken a different course. Roll the Dice sent in this Teutonic take on the Tube. Had the Germans won either of the world wars, the London underground might now look something like this. We'll leave you to make the inevitable wisecracks about efficiency and punctuality in the comments. Now, we're offering £20 to......

If Napoleon had won, Trafalgar Square would have been a very different place. For starters, it would have probably been called Austerlitz Square, or something. And there would be no need to employ hawks to scare off the pigeons. A set of imperial eagles would have sorted that one out. Why don't we make this a theme? Please send in your images of how the capital might have looked had we not won certain......

Another dip into a parallel London, in which this week's opening of St Pancras took a sinister and surreal twist. Got a f*cked up image of the capital? Send it to londonist at gmail dot com Background image manipulated from Malias' Flickr photostream.......

We can't think of anything more scary for Hallowe'en than Hawksmoor's brooding masterpiece of Christ Church, Spitalfields, spreading out its talons, poised to strike. The church has often been linked to the occult and mysterious - most notably in Alan Moore's 'From Hell' and the work of Iain Sinclair. Keep sending in your own images of distorted London to londonist - at - gmail - dot - com......

Last week, we asked you to imagine London in the clutches of a saurian rampage. Daniel Sykes sent in this little gem. It's Reign of Fire meets Pete's Dragon - very much a film we don't want to see. Daniel wins a signed copy of Melvin Burgess' Bloodsong, thanks to the good people at Penguin and their new community site Spinebreakers. Touch Up London returns to abnormal next week, and we want your images.......

Earlier today, proposals to limit the Mayor's stint in office to two terms were quashed. Ken is now free to rule the capital until the ends of time. Assuming, of course, he finds the means to artificially prolong his lifespan. Keep those pictures of a reimagined London coming in. And remember our dragon competition.......

Now, you know us. We wouldn't normally play along with some company's marketing schemes and compromise our editorial independence. Not us. No never. Well, hardly ever. Occasionally, a company dangles something in front of us so tasty that we can't help but bite. If we said it involves dragons, Hampstead Heath and photoshopping skills, then I think you can forgive us for our little dalliance. Penguin have just launched a new community site for......

Here's Barclaycard having a go at the 'Touch Up London' idea to market their new credit cum Oyster cards (branding removed with permission). Top to bottom: Battersea wind power station, rooftop golf in the City, and London as fairground. Three things I think we'd all like to see. (And in two cases, we've sort of seen before.) The images were created by Jean-Marie Vives and Mathieu Raynault, and can be viewed in greater resolution......

Here's Newton, outside the British Library, contemplating how every action has an equal and opposite reaction. In this case, 'splash back'. Please, please, please, send in some of your own distorted images of the capital to londonist at gmail dot com.......

Sack Bob Crow. Get some proper crows in. That's what we say. They're good at using tools, despite being a bunch of rookies. Image by Cory Doctored-crow. (This is the kind of tenuous, pun-laden nonsense you get if you rely on us to make the weekly Touch Up London entry. The quality of this column is always greatly improved when someone else puts the image together. So why not boot up Photoshop and show......

So, London might be getting an additional Thames Barrier? We've got a much simpler solution to the rise in global sea levels. Keep sending your images of distorted, twisted London to londonist - at - gmail - dot com. We will dispatch a choc ice to anyone who enters. Background image take from elbisreverri's Flickr photostream.......