Day 15: Still no closer to Mordor. Ring weighs a tonne. Really wish I had stayed at home - just cannot be bothered with this sodding quest. Day 24: Legolas sings Elvish songs to keep up our spirits. Makes me sick, the way he prances about on top of the snow. I'm the shortest person on this sodding quest, I don't think it's funny when I'm slogging away behind him, chest high in piles of......