Teens are to be involved in a new anti-knife poster campaign in London and other target areas. A new NHS computer system which was due to be installed at Tooting’s St. Georges has fallen prey to gremlins. London is to get bomb-proof bins. This is sad: a musician and drum-maker who contracted anthrax from his skins has now died. A nasty car crash in Clapham has claimed the lives of two women and left......

Clapham Sainsbury's is a nice enough place to do your weekend grocery shop. On Sunday, Clapham resident Neil took his girlfriend there to get a few bits. In their trolley they picked up a nice jar of cooking sauce, some bread, a small chicken and some Ariel Colour Liquitabs (good to see they're looking after their garments). Then, without warning, Neil suddenly burst into song, slightly distunefully, with an 'original' take of the Madness......

Here’s what we’ve learned whilst you’ve been out enjoying this glorious sunshine: The Artful Dodger won’t be happy: fare evaders are to be fined a couple of ponies from now on. A rather wonderful playground just for disabled kids has opened in Hillingdon. Frieze in their tracks? A controversial artwork planned for St. Pancras is bound to get travellers talking. Ken backs Boris. Well sort of. Over the Met Commissioner thing. Concert for Jimmy:......

74. A Gaggle Of Ghosts: Part Four – Ghostly Women Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue... black, white and grey too! Not just the colours of the rainbow but also the many varying types of spectral woman seen around the world. Just like black and grey monks, ladies adorned in varying colours are considered the archetype female spirit as they are oft' seen floating through graveyards, dusty corridors......