Things to do this week is sponsored by Arena Flowers.
All week
BOOK AND SCREEN WEEK: A week long celebration of books and the films, television shows and video games they've inspired begins today. Events include theatre tours, book launches, screenings, masterclasses and more. Find out more here. 13-19 March
HOUSE OF HOLI: Celebrate the Hindu festival of Holi at Cinnamon Kitchen. Look at how much fun we had. Cinnamon Kitchen, £38, book ahead, until 18 March
Monday 13 March
NEUROSCIENCE IN SOCIETY: Our brains constantly change over the course of a lifetime. An expert panel discusses how neuroscience investigates the brain from cradle to grave. Royal Institution, £14/£10/£7, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm
BOOK SLAM: The Wellcome Book Prize teams up with Book Slam to bring you a one-off 'literary club night'. Poetry and musical performances sit alongside appearances by various longlisted authors. Wellcome Collection, £12.50, book ahead, 7pm
UKULELE HOOTENANNY: Whether you're a beginner or an expert ukulele player, you're welcome at this ukulele hootenanny. Borrow an instrument or bring your own and take part in renditions of old classics and modern pop songs on the ukulele. Queen of Hoxton. Free (£20 refundable deposit), just turn up, 7pm-12am
Theatre review: lavish fun
Described as 'Kinkier than Kinky Boots', the first UK tour headed by EastEnders' John Partridge, got rave reviews in Oxford and Dublin. Next week at the New Wimbledon Theatre is Londoners' best chance to see this lavish and hilarious production of La Cage Aux Folles, with its liberating story and uplifting Jerry Herman score. Although best known as Christian Clarke in EastEnders, Partridge trained as a ballet dancer: he brings a fresh versatility to outrageous drag queen Albin, and nails I Am What I Am with terrific power and sincerity. You'll have to ask your mum why his co-star Adrian Zmed is also hot — long time partner of William Shatner in 1980s TV show T J Hooker. So bring her, too. La Cage Aux Folles, New Wimbledon Theatre, 93 The Broadway, London SW19 1QG, £17.90-57.40, 14-18 March ★★★★☆ [Tuesday-Saturday] Johnny Fox
Tuesday 14 March
PRIVATE MADE PUBLIC: A new display opens at Dulwich Picture Gallery, celebrating the 200th anniversary of London's oldest art gallery. Central focus is what is believed to be the oldest picture of the gallery's interior, a watercolour dating back to 1830. Dulwich Picture Gallery, £8/£7, just turn up, until 4 June
DOCKS AFTER DARK: Feeling brave? Enter a 200 year old warehouse after dark with Museum of London Docklands' adults-only Docks After Dark tours. Hear spooky stories about the building's history from museum curators as you explore. Museum of London Dockland, £25, book ahead, 6.30pm
HARRY POTTER QUIZ: Do you know your Hufflepuff from your Pygmy Puffs? This quiz will differentiate the Hermione Grangers from the Vincent Crabbes. The Book Club, £3/£4, book ahead, 7pm-10.30pm
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Wednesday 15 March
ROYAL ENTRY: Walk in the steps of King James I on this guided tour by Guildhall Library. It follows the route of his 1904 'Royal Entry', a traditional procession by the new king and his entourage to mark his accession. The route runs from the Tower of London to Fleet Street, and the walk finishes at Guildhall Library. Ticket includes a wine reception after the walk. Starts near Tower of London, £5.90, book ahead, 4.30pm-7.30pm
LOST LIMEHOUSE: London's Chinatown used to be in Limehouse rather than Soho. Join author and Londonist contributor Tom Bolton on this guided walk around Ratcliff and Limehouse, the East End area which housed London's first port the original Chinatown, and find out what's been lost. Shadwell DLR, £15, book ahead, 6.15pm-8pm
Thursday 16 March
BIRTHDAY BASH: What's better than a normal birthday party? Why, a four day long birthday extravaganza of course. That's what Number 90 Bar & Kitchen is doing, and it all kicks off on Thursday. Expect DJs, bands, art installations, delicious food and creative cocktails. Number 90 Bar & Kitchen, free, just turn up 16-19 March
LIT FESTIVAL: North London Literary Festival brings a variety of authors and speakers to Middlesex University in Hendon for writing workshops and talks from the likes of graphic novel author Warren Ellis and journalist Alex Andreou. Middlesex University, various prices, book ahead, 11am-7pm
SOAPBOX SCIENCE: Pay a penny to hear this lecture on the lack of representation of women in science today — did you know that less than 26% of biology lecturers are female? Morley Gallery, 1p, just turn up, 6pm-7.30pm
SPITALFIELDS NIPPERS: Get an insight into the lives of East End Londoners at the end of the 19th century. This series of photos, taken by Horace Warner, shows some of the poorest people in London, is the subject of a talk by the Gentle Author Museum of Childhood, £7, book ahead, 6.30pm-8pm
SONGS FROM THE HEART: In 2005 Paul Toeman's father died suddenly of a heart attack. Since then he's been a staunch supporter of the British Heart Foundation. Here he sings a concert in their aid, featuring songs focusing on love and the heart in memory of his father. Lauderdale House, £20, just turn up, 7.30pm-9pm
Friday 17 March
ST PATRICK'S DAY: The main parade isn't until Sunday but London's 2017 St Patrick's Day Festival is the biggest yet, with films, concerts and more beginning today. Here's our complete guide to the festival. 17-19 March
WHISKY POP-UP: Dram & Smoke are raising a Celtic glass to their Irish brethren for St Patrick's Day with a two-day whisky and live music event. Receive a Talisker cocktail and snack on arrival at this good, old-fashioned knees-up. 584 Kingsland Road, £10, book ahead, 7pm-2am (repeated tomorrow)
Art review: conceptual claptrap
The Serpentine Galleries are split into the works of John Latham in one, and artists inspired by his work in the Serpentine Sackler. Latham's conceptual art is hard to grasp at the best of times, and this exhibition doesn't make even the slightest attempt to make the work digestible. For those interested in art history, there may be something here, but everyone else will just be left baffled. It's lazy to expect so much from visitors, and we expect better from the Serpentine. A World View: John Latham & Speak at Serpentine Galleries, until 21 May, free ★☆☆☆☆ (Tuesday - Sunday)
Saturday 18 March
YOUR EAST END: What does the East End mean to you? Explore your own and other's opinions on one of London's most diverse areas, at this family friendly festival. Museum of London Docklands, free, just turn up, 18-19 March
POCAHONTAS: The British Library is holding a packed day of film screenings, panel debates, a lecture and a musical performance exploring the cultural legacy of Pocahontas. British Library, £30/£21, book ahead, 9am-8.30pm
FUNNY ARCHAEOLOGIST: Ask an archaeologist whatever random questions you have on digging up the past and they'll answer them as honestly as possibly — often with hilarious results. Queen of Hoxton, £5, book ahead, 3pm-4pm
Sunday 19 March
ST PATRICK'S PARADE Today's the day — the parade begins at noon, travelling from Piccadilly to Trafalgar Square, where the finale includes live music, comedy, street food, community stalls and more. Hop over to our guide for everything you need to know about St Patrick's Day in London. Free, just turn up, from noon
SPRING EQUINOX: This druidic ceremony welcomes the increasing amount of light from day to day at this time of year. It includes a brief talk, meditation and call for peace. Tower Hill, free, just turn up, noon
