The New York Times Asked Londoners For Their Tales Of Petty Crime... The Responses Are Hilarious

Laura Reynolds
By Laura Reynolds Last edited 63 months ago

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The New York Times Asked Londoners For Their Tales Of Petty Crime... The Responses Are Hilarious

When will the New York Times learn not to cross Londoners? After causing outrage with this absolute bunkum earlier this year, round two is underway on Twitter. Perhaps naively, or perhaps knowing exactly what would happen (we suspect the former), the New York Times put a call out on Twitter for tales of petty crime in London

And good grief, some of the replies are enough to give Londoners life-long nightmares. Queue pushers, tea heathens and... dare we say it... tube barrier dawdlers all feature. Read on if you dare.

Of course, there was a cat photo:

The sheer (quiet, polite) horror:

Some of these sound like works of fiction:

Stealing the phone completely would've been a lesser crime:

There isn't a court in the land that wouldn't convict this monster (no, not Jay Rayner):

This one's a particularly widespread crime β€” you've probably been a victim yourself:

Look away now, tea purists

Some crimes are absolutely unforgivable:

For goodness sake, will someone alert the Metropolitan Police?!?

Even seasonal crimes are being reported:

If you listen really carefully, you'll hear a journalist in the NYT offices Googling 'Oi Oi Saveloy Law':

Well played London, well played. In what appears to be a classic case of we-can-diss-our-city-but-don't-you-dare, we can't imagine this tweet would have received anywhere near this response if tweeted by a British paper... Stand by to see what sort of a headline the NYT puts together out of this.

Last Updated 13 December 2018