So. There's a chance of snow in London. (Or as The Express might put it, WORST blizzard since RECORDS BEGAN will DESTROY London as we KNOW it.) Here are six things that might happen if and when it does.
1. A pop-up invites Londoners to make their own snow cones...
...by standing on a bleak rooftop and catching occasional snowflakes in an empty paper cone (£3 extra charge pp). Flavours include: Pea Souper Sundae, Wall's Feast from the East and It's Raining Mentally High Levels of Pollution.
2. There's not QUITE enough snow for a snow day, but JUST enough to make your journey into work a prize nightmare...
Also. Someone — SOMEONE — is guaranteed to have the window open.
3. A northern colleague informs you that it's faaaaar worse in their hometown...
...where soup has been rationed, the residents have rebuilt thee city out of igloos and a snowman has been drafted in as temporary mayor.
4. Some try-hard publication does a 'Snow Bingo' article...
...sort of like this.
5. Donald Trump blames Sadiq Khan for allowing illegal snow into London...
6. You become a viral meme when some millennial films you slipping on the stairs of St Paul's*...
...shrieking out a different note as you hit each step, and inadvertently blurting out the tune to 'Feed the Birds'. 1.4m views and counting.
Images: Shutterstock
*We're sure that the staff at St Paul's are in fact very astute when it comes to gritting icy steps.
