26 Filthy Olde Words To Use In Modern Day London

26 Filthy Olde Words To Use In Modern Day London

18th century Londoner, Francis Grose, compiled one of the world's dirtiest dictionaries — A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. Here are 26(ish) words and phrases to unleash on your fellow Londoners.

Francis Gose, enjoying one of the filthy words from his dictionary

A

"You utter Arrbor Vitae" - You utter penis.

B

"You bacon-faced back biter" - You fat-faced, two-faced person. (Two for the price of one there).

C

"Just nipping out to Sainsbury's for some Cackling Farts" - Cackling farts are eggs. Obviously.

Six Cackling Farts

D

"Move your Double Jugg!" - Shift your arse.

E

"There's less room on a rush hour Northern line train, than an Eternity Box" - Yep, Eternity Box is a coffin.

F

"I love your Farting Crackers. Are they from Gap?"- Because why on earth would you say 'trousers' when you can say Farting Crackers?

These commuters appear to have forgotten their Farting Crackers

G

"Out of my way, you Gotch-Gutted Golumpus!" - You've just called someone a clumsy, pot-bellied person. Let's hope they're not pregnant.

H

"Your round. Don't be such a Hog Grubber" - A mean, stingy fellow.

I

"Use your idea pot!" - Head.

Careful who you call a "Gotch-Gutted Golumpus"

J

"Some of London's mayors have been right Jack-in-the-Offices" - Insolent men in authority.

K

"He's a real Knight of the Trencher" - A subtle way to explain that your mate's a big eater.

L

"Think I might need to visit the Lock Hospital" - What we might today call the GUM clinic.

Some people might call this fella a right Jack-in-the-Office

M

"I wish that bloody Marriage Music would stop" - That is, squealing, crying children.

N

"Got a tissue? My nozzle's running?" - Nose, obviously.

O

"Shut your oven!" - Shut your great mouth.

Marriage Music: coming to a bus near you soon

P

"I could murder a Prattle Broth." - Cup of tea.

Q

"I can't go out tonight. I've got a Queer Bung." - Not as filthy as you might think. A Queer Bung is an empty purse.

R

"What kind of a Rattle Trap is that you've got there?" - A Rattle Trap is a curious, portable piece of machinery. So in modern day lingo, probably a really new — or really old — phone.

This unfortunate woman appears to have a Queer Bung

S

"I got so drunk last night, I ended up Shooting the Cat" - It means to vomit from excessive drinking. No cats were harmed in the making of this phrase.

T

"These Southern trains never go Tantwivy, do they?" - Full speed .

U

"You're an Unlicked Cub, mate" - A rude, uncouth young fellow.

A southern train? In Zneesy weather? This is NOT going to be Tantwivy

V

"My Victualling Office is rumbling" - Victualling Office = stomach.

W

"It was a right Westminster Wedding" - Marriage between a rogue and a woman of ill-repute.

X

There's only one X in the dictionary, and it's rather sexist, so we won't repeat it here.

Top notch Yaffling

Y

"I can't stop Yaffling" - Eating

Z

"The weather sure is Zneesy" - Frosty or frozen. Basically, London for half of the year.

Last Updated 23 March 2018