6 Things That'll Happen When The Northern Line Is Extended To Battersea

6 Things That'll Happen When The Northern Line Is Extended To Battersea

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By 2020, the Northern line will have two extra stations, in the form of Nine Elms and Battersea Power Station. Here are six things we reckon will happen as a result.

It won't be stripey in real life

1. Number of drunk people who wake up at Morden drops by 50%. The other 50% wake up at Battersea Power Station

Some of the more, shall we say, enlightened, passengers may think they've woken up inside a Pink Floyd album, and start milling about the new development in search of a massive pig.

2. Hardly anyone who owns a place at the new Battersea Power Station development will use the tube extension

More than 20,000 new homes will be built at Battersea and Nine Elms, but with average prices for some two-bed flats creeping over £1,000,000, are these really the kind of homeowners who take the tube (even if it is brand new and as yet unsullied)? Best play it safe, and use Battersea Heliport.

Thanks for that whole tube thing you built, but we'll be taking the heli

3. Londoners will be really complacent about it

Yeah — it's the first tube extension since the 1990s, and yeah yeah — it's taken two 100 metre-long boring machines to shift 300,000 tonnes of earth, before 20,000 precast concrete segments are put into place. Thing is, one year previous (in 2019) this thing called Crossrail opened. Now THAT was something.

4. Your parents will say "Have you heard they've converted that run down old power station into homes? Maybe you can buy a cheap flat there?"

At which point you'll subtly roll your eyes and say "I'll make sure I look into that then."

Clapham Junction - is it really in Clapham?

5. The argument that Clapham Junction is actually in Battersea, and not Clapham, will blow up big time

"Look! Clapham Junction is right next to Battersea on the tube map! Conclusive proof that it's not in Clapham" one Londoner will say. "But we all know the tube map is about as geographically accurate as Columbus when he rocked up in the West Indies," will reply the second. And so the debate will roll on.

6. An extremely niche contingent of people confuse Nine Elms for Seven Sisters

The Seven Sisters, after all, were elm trees. So in a way the tube system will have a Seven Elms and a Nine Elms. Hmm. As we say, an extremely niche contingent of people.

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Last Updated 20 October 2017

Michael Jennings

I've been campaigning for Clapham Junction to be renamed to Battersea Crossing for a long time now. I'm not expecting it to happen.

backwards7

This will bring the Northern Line into the territory of the Victoria Line, with the usual battles for dominance as the two railways spar to decide whose tunnels go on top.