28 March 2017 | 17 °C

London's Borough Mottos Are Rubbish... Ours Are Better

M@
By M@
London's Borough Mottos Are Rubbish... Ours Are Better

Did you know that most of the London boroughs have their own mottos? Ealing's, for example, is 'Progress with unity', while Islington is proud to say 'We serve'.

In fact all the official mottos are savagely boring and uninspiring. 'United to serve' (Southwark) or 'Forward' (Hillingdon) are so bland that we went to check our Twitter feed three times while typing this sentence.

To make matters worse, many of the mottos are in Latin. The Borough of Camden apparently sees no irony that its promise of 'Not for oneself but for all' is presented in the widely spoken Roman tongue as 'Non Sibi sed Toti'.

So, we need to change things. The London boroughs deserve up-to-date mottos that better reflect their individual character. Here are our suggestions. You might have your own in the comments section below.

Barking and Dagenham

Actual motto: By the grace of God, let us be judged by our acts
Our motto: BAD for short

Barnet

Actual motto: Unity makes service
Our motto: You've seen the hairstyle now visit the borough

Bexley

Actual motto: Boldly and Rightly
Our motto: I'm too Bexley for my shirt, so Bexley it hurts

Brent

Actual motto: Forwards Together
Our motto: Four-fifths rent

We spotted this in the borough of Richmond upon Thames, though it probably wouldn't make the best council motto.

Bromley

Actual motto: To serve the people
Our motto: We like to pretend we're still in Kent

Camden

Actual motto: Not for oneself, but for all
Our motto: We love the smell of hashish in the morning

City of London

Actual motto: Lord direct us
Our motto: Squarest by a mile

Croydon

Actual motto: Let us strive after perfection
Our motto: One day we'll get city status, and then you'll take us seriously

This could work. Spotted in Tower Hamlets.

Ealing

Actual motto: Progress With Unity
Our motto: One big comedy

Enfield

Actual motto: By Industry Ever Stronger
Our motto: Welcome to Chas and Dave country

Greenwich

Actual motto: We Govern by Serving
Our motto: That's Royal Borough of Greenwich to you

Hackney

Actual motto: Justice is our tower
Our motto: Gentrification is our middle name

This famous bit of street art (pictured a few years back) is in Shoreditch, Hackney, and would make an excellent borough motto. (The top half, obviously.)

Hammersmith and Fulham

Actual motto: Let us be regarded according to our conduct
Our motto: Home of Charing Cross Hospital, for some reason

Haringey

Actual motto: Progress With Humanity
Our motto: Not to be confused with Harringay

Harrow

Actual motto: The health of the people is the supreme law
Our motto: "...is it us you're looking for?"

Havering

Actual motto: Liberty
Our motto: Face it, you have no idea where we are

Havering. 'Sale Up To 20% Off' wasn't a goer. Photo: Barrie Blazeby.

Hillingdon

Actual motto: Forward
Our motto: There's more to us than Heathrow. For a little while longer

Hounslow

Actual motto: Let us progress together
Our motto: If you can pass through our borough without making a joke about Feltham, then you are strong, my friend

Islington

Actual motto: We serve
Our motto: I'm sorry, but we're fed up with being stereotyped as the land of sandal-wearing, Guardian-reading, middle-class, Prosecco-swigging liberal media types. There are other sides to our borough that you elitist snobs don't care to see. Furthermore, we aren't all card-carrying Corbynites with a... oo, look, a new gluten free bakery just opened on Upper Street

Kensington and Chelsea

Actual motto: What a good thing it is to dwell together in unity
Our motto: You can't afford us!

Now Lewisham has a new motto AND theme tune.

Kingston upon Thames

Actual motto: doesn't have one
Our motto: Bacchus Viper Hippodrome Pryzm: that's not a Latin motto, but a list of our nightclubs

Lambeth

Actual motto: Let us be regarded according to our conduct
Our motto: 78.62% of us voted Remain and our borough's shaped like Elvis. This is why we rock

Lewisham

Actual motto: The health of the people is the supreme law
Our motto: Home of Lewisham McDeez

Merton

Actual motto: Stand Fast In Honour And Strength
Our motto: We're not REM backwards

Newham

Actual motto: Progress with the People
Our motto: You couldn't afford Hackney, could you?

Another contender fro Redbridge. This was spotted in Seven Kings. Photo: Nico Hogg.

Redbridge

Actual motto: In Unity Progress
Our motto: Birthplace of Noel Edmonds and Richard Littlejohn

Richmond upon Thames

Actual motto: doesn't have one
Our motto: Home of Fenton!

Southwark

Actual motto: United to serve
Our motto: To north Londoners, we're the acceptable face of south London

Sutton

Actual motto: Through difficulties serve God in faith
Our motto: What brings you here, then?"

Waltham Forest Town Hall, by Mike Murphy in the Londonist Flickr pool.

Tower Hamlets

Actual motto: From Great Things to Greater
Our motto: Free of corrupt mayors since 2015

Waltham Forest

Actual motto: Fellowship Is Life
Our motto: Seriously, have you seen our Town Hall? It totally shits on your Town Hall

Wandsworth

Actual motto: We serve
Our motto: Beware of the Borribles

Westminster

Actual motto: Guard the city, O Lord
Our motto: Proud sponsors of HP Sauce

Last Updated 06 January 2017

Clunking Fist

These made me smile. Apart from Harrow, which made me lol.