Where to find funny this week

Sunday: Sunday night is urban night at Top Secret Comedy Club in Covent Garden, with comics Josephine Lacey, Prince Abdi, Jason Patterson and Paul Ricketts (8pm, £8).

Monday: Andrew O’Neill headlines at the Good Ship tonight (8.30pm, £5 / £4 advance). We love Andrew, we really do, so it’s a mark of how impressed we were by Nick Sun at the Camden Crawl that we’re saying he’s the main reason you should head to Kilburn. Also on the bill are Ellie Taylor and Bush & McCluskey.

Tuesday: Multi-award nominated Do The Right Thing podcast is back recording at the Phoenix (7.30pm, £6 / £4). Danielle Ward hosts and this month team captains Michael Legge and Margaret Cabourn-Smith are joined by guests Robin Ince, Josie Long, John Finnemore, Jenny Eclair, Jon Ronson and Stevyn Colgan.

Wednesday: It’s hard to know if there are still tickets available for Harry Hill at Monkey Business in Chalk Farm (8pm, £15) because tickets aren’t available online. Email them on monkeybusinesscomedyclub@yahoo.co.uk or call 07932 338203 to find out. If you’re lucky enough to reserve one you’ll also be treated to Sol Bernstein.

If that’s sold out, take the Northern Line to the Leicester Square Theatre and see Sara Pascoe, Thom Tuck and Matthew Crosby obey the voice of god (7pm, £10).

Thursday: The Velvet Onion is the place for all things Boosh, and they’ve put together a night at the Vandella in Shepherd’s Bush (7.30pm, £15). The list of guests is massive: we’ve picked out Mike Fielding (Naboo), Dan Tetsell, James Bachman, Rachel Stubbings, Richard Sandling, Alice Lowe and Waen Shepherd, pretty much at random.

Friday: Josie Long previews this year’s Edinburgh show, Romance and Adventure, at Hen and Chickens (9.30pm, £8; also Sunday, Monday and Thursday this week). The last two shows were nominated for the main Comedy Award, so no pressure at all…

Saturday: This is your only chance to see Tim Key (pictured) do a headlining set in London this summer, and it’s at Islington’s Union Chapel (7.45pm, £18 / £16). If that’s not enough to tempt, there’s also top ventriloquist Nina Conti, Liam Williams (one-third of sketch group Sheeps), Jarred Christmas and, bloody hell, Kevin Eldon.

Book ahead: Ardal O’Hanlon’s doing a small club set at Waterloo Comedy Club, above the Horse pub, on 4 July. Tickets are £19 or £15 if you live locally.

Tip us off to friendly, intelligent, alternative comedy around town tips@londonist.com

Suitable punishment: Nonhlanhla Kheswa

The Suit wears its complexities lightly. On the surface it’s a sort of fun and funny adult’s Aesop’s fable – ‘the woman who cheated on her husband and was made to care for her lover’s suit’ – but at its heart is a deep well of trouble and sadness. Co-directed by Peter Brook, he of Lord of the Flies and theatre bible The Empty Space fame, it’s also a chance to see a legend’s work in action.

In Sofiatown, a poor township of Jo’burg, South Africa, music and laughter thrive despite the oppressive Apartheid regime. Happy couple Philemon and Matilda’s (themselves quite fable-like names) lives turn sour when she’s caught in bed with another man and, when the rumbled lover leaves in panic in his underpants, Philemon cooks up a crazily cruel plan. Matilda must care for the discarded suit as an honoured house guest, feeding it meals and accompanying it on walks. It’s funny but there’s also a shame and torturous element captured subtly by actress Nonhlanhla Kheswa, fitting with a play that doesn’t shove its feelings down your throat but rather lets a gentle sadness permeate.

Music adds to the storytelling feel and general joy of the township. Musicians are used imaginatively as extras in scenes as well as providing delightful sound effects, a thrum of the guitar to suggest a phone being picked up and such like. Kheswa, actress and also one time Lion King star and Wyclef Jean vocalist, had us transported with songs including a soulful Tanzanian ballad and a Nina Simone classic.

A happy sad tale, The Suit rockets along making its 90 minutes short, skilful and sweet.

The Suit is part of World Stages London and shows at the Young Vic until 16 June, tickets £10-£29.50.

Photo: Johann Persson

Matthew Dunster’s new play Children’s Children explores the increasingly dysfunctional relationships of two couples who met at arts college.

Wealthy and successful TV presenter Michael Stewart (Darrell D’Silva) lends his old friend, Gordon (Trevor Fox) a large sum of money when he falls on hard times. The loan marks the start of a downward spiral for Michael and Gordon and their respective wives Louisa (Beth Cordingly) and Sally (Sally Rogers).

The lives of the two couples spin out of control as criminal accusations emerge against Michael. All those around him get caught up in events which quickly start to consume their lives.

Two of the real stars of the show are Louisa and Michael’s daughter Effie (Emily Berrington) and her would-be film maker boyfriend Castro (John MacMillan) whose turbulent relationship mirrors some of the personal struggles faced by the two older couples.

Berrington, making her professional stage début in Children’s Children, puts in a stand out performance as the neurotic, self obsessed prima-donna Effie, who contrasts brilliantly with the aspiring left wing campaigner/documentary maker Castro.

Dunster’s dialogue is highly engaging with its mix of raw emotion and excellent comic timing, continually moving from one mood to another. However, one slight downfall in his writing is that he seems to be trying to cover too many bases at once.

Is he intending Children’s Children to be a meditation on the trappings of fame? An exploration of the nature of family conflicts? Or possibly a politically driven piece comparing the worries of indulged English families with the issues faced by ordinary people in developing countries at the hands of major corporations? This last theme is injected into the play through Castro and his interests as a film maker.

Despite the apparent confusion in Dunster’s intentions, the plot has enough strength and depth to make this a highly enjoyable play. The excellent casting and dramatic tension between the key characters outstrip any weaknesses in the script.

Dunster has created a well paced, engaging piece of theatre, which uses the space at the Almeida Theatre brilliantly. The cast manage to combine the thought provoking with sheer entertainment and drama to great effect. Catch Children’s Children during the rest of its residency at the Almeida.

Children’s Children is at the Almeida Theatre at 7.30pm, tickets £8-£32. Ends 30 June

Doris Salcedo is best known for ‘Shibboleth’ – the giant crack that ran the length of the Tate Modern’s turbine hall that famously resulted in a few adventurous (or clumsy) viewers getting stuck in it.

The White Cube in Mayfair now features two more of her large installations – albeit not on the same scale as the 548ft Shibboleth. Violence, torture and death in her native Colombia serve as inspiration for Salcedo’s works but rather than simply raising political awareness, her installations address life, death and every stage in between.

The ground floor gallery features a massive delicate shroud. Only on closer inspection do you realise that it’s made up of thousands of rose petals in a state of semi-decay that have been sewn together. We viewed it as a reminder that even when beauty fades, what remains is still substantial – a tribute to the victims of torture.

Downstairs evokes a mass burial site with coffin-sized tables upturned on compost as green shoots appear to force their way through the wood and continue to grow.  As well as depicting rebirth through death, the individuality of each table symbolises that people retain their individuality even in death and are more than just a statistic or a news headline.

Though the circle of life and death is a favourite of many artists, including Damien Hirst, Salcedo’s approach is more subtle and personal to her. The installations take some time to fully sink in, but  they are all the more powerful for it.

Doris Salcedo is on display at the White Cube gallery, Mason’s Yard until 30 June. Entrance is free.

Mildred's restaurant. From Londonist Flickr Pool

London offers some of the best vegetarian food available. The capital’s veggie restaurants and cafés vary from offering light bites and food on the go to fine dining. They take their influences from the UK, the Mediterranean and of course South India amongst many other cuisines.

Many vegetarian places are hugely popular with veggies and non-veggies alike. As we draw to the end of national Vegetarian Week, we choose our own favourite restaurants.

Please leave your comments and let us know your favourites and we’ll add them as we go along.

Mildred’s
Mildred’s is one of the busiest and most popular vegetarian restaurants in London. Offering a diverse range of fresh and exiting food from Sri-Lankan to Mediterranean dishes and veggie burgers, it has become one of the most vibrant eateries in Soho, if not London.

Starters come in at around £6 with mains costing between £7 and £11. For the quality of food, this is incredible value. Mildred’s don’t take table bookings, so you have to turn up on spec. This can mean a bit of a wait but with a great selection of drinks available and the promise of some fine food to come, its not too much of a hassle! The one room you can book is the upstairs private dining room, which has a collection of vintage porn on the walls.

Midlred’s is at 45 Lexington Street, London, W1F 9AN. Our review.

Vanilla Black
Vanilla Black takes inventive vegetarian cooking to the highest level. This Michelin recommended restaurant originally opened in York before moving to its current location in the heart of the city. Since then it has delighted restaurant goers with its funky, modern take on vegetarian fine dining.

The mouth watering culinary creations on offer include such delights as “fried mushroom mousse and pernod pancakes with whipped cider, fennel and butternut squash”.

A great location for a treat or a celebratory meal. The set menus help to provide a more affordable option. Lunch is available at £18.50 for two course or £23.50 for three.

Vanilla Black is at 17-18 Tooks Court, London, EC4A 1LB. Our review.

The Gate
Hammersmith’s The Gate has been a favourite with vegetarians since opening in 1989. Run by the brothers Adrian and Michael Daniel, the food is a fusion of Asian flavours mixed with Mediterranean influences. Starters cost around £6 with mains varying from £10 to £15.

The restaurant also periodically offers cookery workshops and the chefs have published two recipe books. Due to the ongoing success of the place, the brothers are opening a second restaurant in Islington on 1 June.

The Gate Hammersmith is at 51 Queen Caroline Street London, W6 9QL. Our review.

Food for Thought
Covent Garden’s Food for Thought is a well priced, friendly café that is a great option for a quick bite while out shopping. The menu changes regularly but often includes bean stews, quiches, burritos and much more. You can get a fantastic main with a plate stacked full of salads and sides for between £5 and £8.

As the café is quite small and gets pretty busy. It can be a good idea to go either a bit before or after the lunchtime rush.

Food for Thought is at 31 Neal Street, Covent Garden, London WC2H 9PR

Vitao
Serving up a buffet of wholesome salads, bean- and pulse-based concoctions and much else besides, this friendly and inviting vegan café has become a favourite among London’s vegetarians, and visitors to Soho alike.

All the food on offer is organic, wholesome and well priced. All you can eat costs between £6 and £9 depending on the time of day.

Vitao is at 74 Wardour Street, London, W1F 0TE.

The Bonnington Café
The Bonnington Café is a community café run by a collective of volunteer chefs. The menu rotates with the cooks and there are normally a couple of different options available.

It started life as a squat café during the 1980s and has been a fixture of the community ever since. Starters and desserts cost £3 with mains coming in at £7. The Bonnington is a quirky, friendly and fun place to have a meal. It’s also good to support a local community enterprise that’s run on a not for profit basis.

The Bonnington Café is at 11 Vauxhall Grove, SW8 1TD. Our review.

Sagar
With restaurants in Hammersmith, the West End and Covent Garden, Sagar offers some of the best-value vegetarian Indian food available in London. The menu is based on dishes from south India and offers incredible value with selection plates and Thalis available at lunchtime for around £5. They also serve these preposterously large crispy roll things.

Sagar Hammersmith is at 157 King Street, London, W6 9JT
Sagar West End is at 17A Percy Street off Tottenham Court Road, London, W1T 1DU
Sagar Covent Garden is at 31 Catherine Street, London, WC2B 5JS

Manna
Primrose Hill’s Manna has been nominated as the best vegetarian restaurant in London during this vegetarian week. Its an accolade that is much deserved.

Manna offers modern, stylish and inventive vegetarian food that takes in a huge range of influences. With dishes varying from organic bangers and mash to burritos, Indian dishes and tofu based concoctions, there is something for everyone here. Starters are approximately £8 with mains coming in around £14. Truly exciting veggie food.

Manna is at 4 Erskine Road Primrose Hill, London NW3 3AJ

Tibits
Situated in Piccadilly, Tibits is one of the capital’s best vegetarian and vegan buffets. Offering eat-in and take-away options, Tibits serves up a diverse selection of enticing fresh flavours with dishes taking in salads, African cuisine, Asian influences and much more.

With all this on offer alongside a well stocked bar, Tibits is a great place to drop into if you’re out in central London.

Tibits is at 12-14 Hendon Street, London, W1B 4DA

Reader suggestions
OK, that’s our recommendations. We’d love to hear your favourites, though, and we’ll add them here.

From Twitter:
@paddy_wagstaff suggests Rasa
@DelveBand says inSpiral Lounge in Camden has great food and lovely people
@bonny_vivante recommends “Amico Bio at (ironically) Smithfields for great organic Italian vegetarian dishes. Omnivore friends have been uniformly impressed”

From the comments:
James suggests Woodlands in Panton Street – looks like they also have branches in Hampstead and Marylebone
Probably Jon says Pogo Cafe in Hackney and Jai Krishna on Stroud Green Road or Turnpike Lane 
Dave Cross recommends Blah Blah Blah in Shepherd’s Bush

Not a luxury car salesroom

• Jaguar (the huge car company) has launched legal proceedings against Jaguar Shoes (the small east London art collective)
• Libya’s interim PM has laid a wreath at the site where Louise Fletcher was killed.
• Boris Johnson has a new press chief: ex-BBC man Will Walden.
• Level of recorded rape rises 53% over four years.
• £4m worth of fake coins seized.
• Glass in roof of Portcullis House shatters.

Photo of Dream Bags Jaguar Shoes by Adrian Cooper

Boys and girls, hold onto your underwear: EastEnd Cabaret are the sexually deviant singers your mother warned you about.

This time last year, Bethnal Green’s lewdest couple were surfing the wave of new interest in cabaret and encouraging South Bank passersby to engage in acts of self-discovery. After a successful run at the Edinburgh Fringe and a tour down under which bagged them the Adelaide Fringe 2012 Best Cabaret Award, the depraved duo return to the area for a series of three shows at the London Wonderground.

EastEnd Cabaret comprises of the vamp-chanteuse Bernadette Byrne and her half-man/half-woman instrumentalist Victor/Victoria. That these are two of the greatest comedy creations of recent years is without doubt. Byrne has a mind and a French accent both filthier than a Holborn gutter while “Victy” is all about the deadpan asides, jealous snipes and musical virtuosity. Together, they form a delicious alloy which is far greater than the sum of the parts.

Their new show continues from last year’s debut The Revolution Will Be Sexual. Long-term fans of their underground act may be disappointed to hear that the communist angle has been all but dropped: there is no mention of Mr Little Red Book (the girls’ Marxist Karma Sutra) and the handy props Mr Sickle and Miss Hammer which they used to illustrate positions like The Tory Titwank. Also gone are the cover versions and the more risqué favourites like The Rape Song.

That’s not to say they are now playing it safe. The first five minutes are strangely reminiscent of the start of Krapp’s Last Tape with Victor/Victoria moving around the stage in wordless wonder before Byrne makes her appearance. Those without a sense of the bizarre and an appreciation of dark humour may not last the course as the next hour covers masturbation, necrophilia, virgin defloration and the benefits of strong pelvic muscles.

With its new styling, the show is a tighter beast but has lost some of its edginess and intrigue. Having said that, these perverse purveyors of everything that goes hump in the night are among the shiniest of stars in cabaret’s firmament and should be seen at the earliest opportunity.

See East End Cabaret in the Spiegeltent at London Wonderground on the Southbank on Friday 22 June and Thursday 26 July (standard tickets £12.50, ‘Wonder Seats’ £17.50, concessions £11).

Sugarhouse Studios is a converted sign-writer’s workshop just off Stratford High Street. The group have turned it into a 200-seater cinema and will be showing films, mixing cocktails and serving up food over the next few weekends. Cleaving to Assemble’s love of the temporary, the entire building is scheduled for demolition in 2013.

Things kicked off last night with The Long Good Friday, and more films and performances are planned over the coming weeks. See the listings calendar for more information.

Sugarhouse won’t be the only east London pop-up screen in town: the floating cinema that plied the byways of the Lea last summer is set to return this year too.

More images of Sugarhouse Studios at Architect’s Journal (registration required)

Soho Theatre’s monthly late show ‘Comedy Bonk’ is a real treat for stand-up aficionados.

This month’s line-up features the brilliantly wacky and bizarre Chris Dangerfield alongside rising star Lloyd Griffith and Headliner Greg Burns.

Burns is an award winning comic who has worked on numerous TV shows including ‘Have I got News for You,’ and ‘The Catherine Tate Show’ as well as appearing ‘The Office’ Christmas special.

This not to be missed line-up is ably hosted by Laura Carr, who has been on the comedy circuit since 2009 and became the first female finalist in the prestigious ‘So You Think You are Funny’ competition with her witty anecdotes.

Real value for money at £15.

Comedy Bonk happens at the Soho Theatre, 21 Dean Street on Saturday 26 May at 11.30pm. Tickets cost £15. The night returns on Saturday 30 June

Image by Chris Nash.

Matthew Bourne’s company celebrates its 25th anniversary this year with a comedic festival of works from the 1980s and 1990s. The triple bill, entitled Early Adventures, restages three of Bourne’s first works. It shows the company at its hilarious and talented best.

Bourne’s signature work Spitfire (1988) was his first big hit. It parodies the 19th Century Pas de Quatre, which showcased the leading ballerinas of the time. Taking inspiration from underwear advertising, Bourne puts four narcissistic men centre stage wearing a variety of vests, boxers, Y-fronts and thermal pants. To the grand orchestral music of Alexander Glazunov and Leon Minkus, dancers flex their biceps, wiggle their bottoms and create macho group poses. The piece uses appealing choreography and references to classical technique, but an irresistible humour and charm stand out most.

Town and Country was created in 1991 and shows a variety of scenes from a bygone British era. In town, a woman bathes and is dressed by a maid, a suited gentleman stitches embroidery, couples date at the cinema and six scooter-riders beep horns and ring bells. In the country, milk maids, clog dancers, fox-hunters and golf-players all come to life. Witness a hedgehog’s funeral. The choreography is an eclectic assortment of jollity, romance and poignancy, typifying the best of English life.

Final work, Infernal Galop (1989), takes its name from the little-known correct title of the famous can-can music. It satirises British perceptions of the French with vignettes displaying the varied characters found across the Channel. Parisian women drape themselves with scarves, sailors serenade a dressing-gowned merman and men casually observe each other at urinals. Most unexpected is when a gay couple’s romantic duet and passionate sex is rudely interrupted by a beret-wearing and maraca-wielding street band. Infernal Galop is another example of Bourne’s skill in taking ordinary situations and using wit and powerful choreography to create a truly entertaining work.

The company, New Adventures is in fine form throughout, with dancers both technically skilled and able to convey the choreography’s drama and comedy. This triple bill shows why Bourne has had such a successful 25 years. No doubt there are 25 more years of surprises to come.

By Laura Dodge

Early Adventures is at Sadler’s Wells until 26 May. Book tickets here.

The banner, reminiscent of Pyongyang leader worship, will grace/blight the south bank until the end of June. At 100 metres wide and 70 metres tall, it shows the queen approximately 43 times her usual height. It’s like something from the nightmares of David Icke.

Don’t worry about the poor office workers whose views have been sheathed. The building is currently empty and undergoing redevelopment.

To balance out this blatant bit of Royalism, we invite our more mischievous readers to take an image of the banner and use Photoshop or similar to give it a bit of a touch-up (if we dare use that phrase in front of Her Majesty). Here’s a version without the bus. Send your best efforts to hello@londonist.com.

What did you do before becoming an Assembly Member?

Before my election to the Assembly I worked for the Searchlight Educational Trust, an anti-racist, anti-fascist charity that works with communities to fight racism and extremism. Standing up against racism and extremism is something I care deeply about and is so important in a diverse city like London. I was delighted that the BNP failed to gain a seat on the London Assembly this time around, and that across the country they lost every single council seat they were defending. The decline of the BNP is down in no small part to the work of Searchlight and the fantastic HOPE not hate campaign. We must remain vigilant, however. Other groups are forming to take the place of the BNP and it is vital that we continue to work to strengthen communities and stamp out racism, hatred and bigotry.

In the run up to the election I took temporary leave from Searchlight to work full-time on the London Labour election campaign.

Why did you stand for the London Assembly?

The thing that really matters in politics is making people’s lives better. Having the opportunity to do this is both a huge privilege and a great responsibility. In so many key areas the mayor and the Assembly can make a real difference to the lives of Londoners and I want to play my part in that. This is especially important in tough economic times with a Tory-led government that is making things worse, not better, for ordinary people.

What are your areas of (political) interest?

For me the most important issue is housing. I’m delighted to be on the Assembly’s Housing and Regeneration Committee which will be doing crucial work over the next four years, particularly around the Olympic legacy. I come to this issue from the starting point that everyone should have a decent home to live in whether they own their home, rent privately or live in social/council housing. Sadly, London is in housing crisis – the housing market here is completely dysfunctional. I’m encouraged by councils like Camden and Southwark which are building the first new council homes for decades, but the mayor needs to take far more action to deliver the affordable housing we need across London and to address the very serious problems in the private rented sector.

I also have a strong interest in transport. London’s transport system is going through a major transformation at the moment with the long-overdue construction of Crossrail. But we need to be looking to the future – to the next major upgrades we need to keep our city moving. I’ll be pushing the mayor to ensure that we get Crossrail 2 and the other major transport infrastructure projects that we need to grow London’s economy and provide capacity for our ever-growing population.

What do you hope to have achieved by the end of four years?

I’ll be pressing the mayor hard over the issue of sky high rents and rogue landlords in the private rented sector. I want to see a great deal of progress made on this over the next four years. I don’t think the mayor takes affordable housing seriously enough, and he’s dangerously complacent about the housing crisis facing our city. But I’ll be working hard with my fellow Labour Assembly members to ensure he delivers on his promise to build more affordable homes, and to ensure that the new Homes for London is not just a rebranding exercise but a dynamic new organisation that will deliver for Londoners.

What’s your favourite bit of London?

I’ve lived in north, south and east London and loved them all. The greatest thing about London is its variety and diversity. My favourite part is Camden where I’ve lived for the past four years. I love the vibrancy of the area, and particularly the music scene.

You can follow Tom on Twitter at @tomcopley

Speaking to The Independent, Mr Hague revealed the next act of death defiance on his wishlist: abseiling down the Shard, the tallest building in Western Europe.

Unfortunately, the Shard’s Qatari owners stand in the way of his ambitions, citing insurance reasons. Perhaps his son, Foreign Secretary William Hague, can intervene.

“We don’t want to dash Mr Hague’s lifelong abseiling dream,” said a spokesman for the Shard (seemingly implying Hague predicted the Shard’s construction back in the 1930s), “but we aren’t Jimmy Savile”. He added: “We haven’t rejected the idea out of hand and no conclusion has been reached. Our main priority is getting the building finished for its inauguration.”

That inauguration, by the way, takes place on 5 July, when the Duke of York will march up to the top of the hill building with the Qatari Prime Minister.

Image by SurreyBlonde in the Londonist Flickr pool.

Like it or not, this year so far has been the year of Hirst. His excellent retrospective at the Tate Modern is still drawing huge crowds, his spot paintings took over the Gagosian galleries and he’s announced his own gallery in Vauxhall.

The White Cube has now jumped on the bandwagon with a display in their newest and largest space in Bermondsey of Hirst’s latest works. The exhibition starts promisingly with The Battle between Good and Evil. Two floating balls continuously fight it out, buffeted by the winds generated by a large fan. Granted it’s an upscaling of his earlier work involving a hair dryer and a ping pong ball, but it’s an improvement that will have you wondering how the balls stay aloft.

The centrepiece of the exhibition is a room full of Hirst’s paintings – that’s right, no dead animals, no large-scale installations, just a bunch of humble paintings. This is not a complete divergence from his earlier works, as his popular motifs or repeating spots and butterflies are present. He does seem to have found a new muse in parrots, which feature prominently in most of his works here.

Hirst isn’t a particularly talented painter and these works are very repetitive. After you’ve seen half of the gallery, the other half feels like a chore. Even when he tries to shock us with jars containing conjoined foetuses it all seems rather tame considering what he’s shown us before.

Hirst has matured as an artist, but in this maturity he’s lost the edge that made him stand out.

Damien Hirst: Two Weeks One Summer is on display at the White Cube gallery, Bermondsey until 8 July. Entrance is free.

Earlier this spring the Southbank played canvas to a spectacular piece of clean art; the largest that Europe has ever seen. Courtesy of the ‘multi-tasking household favourite’ Flash – as part of the P&G Capital Clean Up – walks, walkways and buildings were transformed into a giant work of art.

The art installation was designed and created by a collective of artists, including Moose Curtis, a renowned British clean artist. A 370m2 area of artwork evolved over 5 days and 150 hours, with Moose and his team creating the images by artistically cleaning dirt and dust from some of the Southbank’s surfaces.

Nearly 5,000 images were created in total, culminating in a huge piece of art on the side of the OXO tower. Once over 300,000 people had enjoyed the installation, a fortnight later the art was cleaned away leaving the surfaces shiny and spotless.

The clean graphics created by Flash Art symbolise the P&G Capital Clean Up campaign which sees a series of community clean up events take place across the city until June 2012. Visit www.pgcapitalcleanup.com for more detail on events in your area.

Flash Art was part of the P&G Capital Clean Up, a campaign encouraging Londoners to join the big clean ahead of the London 2012 Olympic Games.

Although he’s been producing and remixing for a number of years – Marco Niemerski, better known as Tensnake, will forever be known for his track “Coma Cat”. Hardly surprising — the 7 minute number is the most undeniably fun piece of music since “Hey Ya!” Mixing the classic house chords of Antony & the Camp’s “You know what I like” with his own buoyantly tropical style, the single developed into a dance-floor monster – reigning supreme in the summer of 2010 and beyond. And no one-hit-wonder neither – his irreverent take on Azari & III’s “Reckless with your Love” was just as ubiquitous. While a bit quiet recently his latest release, a pair of remixes for Philip Lauer, showed that his old touch hasn’t deserted him – two giddy cuts of goodtime house that’ll have even the dourest dudes shuffling.

Alongside will be John Talabot, the Barcelona resident whose debut album fIN, despite only being released in February, is already being tipped for the end of year garlands. While his use of tropical tropes often see him grouped with chillwave types, his music touches base with a range of styles – with shades of deep house and melancholic techno filtering into his sound. However we can expect a riot if classic cut “Sunshine” doesn’t get an airing!

Elsewhere Futureboogie host a room headed by Hot Creations’s Waifs & Strays, whilst a live set from Swedish techno duo Skudge looks set to raise the temperature to boiling point. Who needs the Costa del Sol?

Trouble Vision Summer Session with Tensnake, John Talabot, Skudge, Futureboogie at Corsica Studios, SE17 1LB, Friday 25^th May. More information can be found here.

Tensnake photo used with permission from the artist

Giro the Nazi dog

Giro, a terrier or Alsatian depending who you read, was the “true companion” of the German Ambassador during the mid-1930s. His headstone, sheltered by a crappy wood and plexiglass demi-kennel, can be found beside the tree at the top of the Duke of York’s Steps, Carlton House Terrace. For the sake of a story, the hound is universally referred to as “Giro the Nazi dog”. Giro’s political views are unrecorded, but the sobriquet is probably unfair since his master Dr Leopold von Hoesch was no admirer of Hitler, and only represented the Nazi party by circumstance after the collapse of the Weimar Republic in 1933. Let’s just say Giro’s bark was not worse than his Reich.

Arty dogs: Trump and Flush
William Hogarth identified closely with his combative pug Trump. The dog features prominently in his famous 1745 self-portrait. Fellow artist Paul Sandby even depicted Hogarth as half-man, half mutt in his satirical image Pugg’s Graces. You can also eyeball a porcelain version of Trump in the V&A’s British Galleries, and a bronze likeness of the dog stands next to his master’s statue in Turnham Green. Another arty dog is Flush, the spaniel of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. The pair lived on Wimpole Street in the 1840s. Browning was so taken by the dog — a gift from Mary Mitford — that it became the subject of one of her poems, and later a book by Virginia Woolf.

The Blind Beggar and his dog
Another canine immortalised in metal, and by no lesser sculptor than Elizabeth Frink, lurks on Roman Road in east London. The Grade II* listed mutt accompanies a blind man. The duo crop up throughout East End folk lore. The former Metropolitan Borough of Bethnal Green used the device on its borough seal, for example. The Blind Beggar name is also commemorated in the famous Whitechapel Road pub where Ronnie Kray killed rival gang member George Cornell. Legend has it that the original blind beggar was Henry de Montfort the incognito son of the more famous Simon. Nothing is known about his dog, however.

Nipper and His Master’s Voice

Everyone knows this famous logo of a dog listening to ‘his late master’s voice’ on a gramophone. The hound is ‘Nipper’ (1884-1895), and he was painted by Francis Barraud, brother to the late master, Mark Henry Barraud. A few years after the dog’s death, a modified version of the painting was sold to the Gramophone Company and subsequently became the logo of HMV and related brands. Nipper was buried in Kingston Upon Thames beneath what is now Lloyds Bank. The little woofster enjoys the unusual distinction (for a dog) of having a local alley named after him.

101 Dalmatians
In the same way that Sherlock Holmes would top a list of famous detectives, and Harry Potter would head a column of wizards, the most famous of London canines are purely fictional. Dodie Smith’s much-loved book, and the even-more-loved Disney adaptation of 1961 tell the tale of a posse of north London dalmatians kidnapped by the fiendish Cruella de Vil. Much of the early action plays out in and around Regent’s Park, as this guided walk will show you.

The brown dog of Battersea
Battersea Park once had a problem with anti-doggers — not a moral army crusading against sexy encounters, but a group of protesters determined to rid the park of its dog statue. The row went something like this. In 1903, UCL lecturer William Bayliss supposedly vivisected a brown dog using inhumane methods. He denied this, and successfully sued his accuses. But anti-vivisectionists erected a monument to the dog in Battersea Park. Medical students and supporters of animal experimentation disliked the statue and regularly vandalised it. The so-called “Brown-dog riots” saw clashes between the anti-doggers and anti-vivisectionists. Finally, the local council removed the provocative statue and reportedly melted it down. 70 years later a replacement was erected by anti-vivisection groups and remains there today. The whole tangled story is well covered on Wikipedia.

The Dogs of Alcibiades
Once weatherbeaten and vandalised, these recently restored (actually, replicated) fellows guard the Bonner Gate of Victoria Park. The duo are modelled on ancient Greek originals by Myron of Eleutherae (480-440 BC). They’re notable for three things. (1) They’re 100 years old this year. (2) They have freaky genitals. (3) One of them featured on the front cover of Iain Sinclair’s Lights Out For The Territory.

Pickles, the World Cup-finding dog
March 1966, four months before the World Cup, and the fabled Jules-Rimet trophy was stolen from an exhibition at Westminster Central Hall. Luckily a south London collie named Pickles was on the case. He discovered the trophy, wrapped in newspaper, beneath a hedge in South Norwood. The unlikely hero went on to star alongside Eric Sykes and June Whitfield in the film The Spy With The Cold Nose, and was voiced by Harry Enfield in a recent TV drama. Sadly, Pickles choked to death a year after his great find, prompting some to hint at a darker side to the recovery.

Fenton/Benton
Who could forget this little escapade in Richmond Park last year?

The Black Dog of Newgate
The spectral hound that supposedly hangs out round the back of the Old Bailey is one of London’s most famous ghosts. The phantom has been sighted on many occasions over many centuries, skulking along a brick wall in Amen Court. The ghastly form, which is accompanied by a vile smell, is said to be the spirit of a 13th Century sorcerer, whose body was desperately eaten by the starving prisoners of Newgate. The dog’s bollocks for tour guides, but ‘this dog is bollocks’ for anyone with a rational mind.

Bull’s Eye, Bill Sikes’ dog
OK, admittedly we’re struggling a bit now.  The long-suffering canine companion of Oliver Twist villain Bill Sykes has little to recommend him. Suffering “faults of temper in common with his owner,” the bull terrier has one redeeming feature. Despite running away from Sikes, who was intent on drowning him, Bull’s Eye remains faithful to his monstrous owner, hurling himself from a Bermondsey rooftop after Sikes accidentally hangs himself from the same.

Reader suggestions
No doubt, there are hundreds of other worthy canines to commemorate. List out suggestions in the comments and we’ll add them to this section.

See also:

• LONCats: The Top 10 London Cats
• The Mayoral Election in Dogs
• Dogs of London map

Images: Giro grave by binaryghost in the Londonist Flickr pool, other images in the public domain.

According to that great compendium of knowledge, Wikipedia, a fisheye is “an ultra wide-angle lens that produces strong visual distortion intended to create a wide panoramic or hemispherical image.”

Used subtly, the fisheye can bring a whole new perspective to familiar sights, as this selection of London landmarks demonstrates. The interiors of our great buildings — the Natural History (our favourite here!) and British museums, the Foreign Office — appear even more grand and cavernous. London underground’s concave tunnels, meanwhile, become futuristic and claustrophobic given the fisheye treatment.

Finally, looking upwards brings a new look with this bit of photographical trickery too. The London Eye looks completely different while St Paul’s becomes uncomfortably sandwiched between two brick slabs. Lots of fun all round.

With thanks to Londonist Flicker pool contributors: FJC37, James Guppy, Londonietis, becksflrt,  Romany WG and *junket*.    

Scissor Sisters played two nights in Shepherd’s Bush last week, previewing new material along with some old favourites. They’ll be back in London on 23 October for a date at The Roundhouse. Tickets £32.50 + bf.

Prog-rock legends The Mars Volta released their sixth album – the intriguingly-titled Noctourniquet – in March. In support of it, they’ll play the HMV Forum on 15 July. Expect twiddly guitar solos and apocalyptic drumming. Tickets £25 + bf.

She might have had several hits, but Swedish electro-pop singer-songwriter Robyn has always worked hard to release exciting music on her own terms. She’s been in the studio working on new material and will play O2 Academy Brixton on 1 November. Tickets £20 + bf.

Blink-182 earned the ire of some fans when they postponed last year’s planned arena tour by a whole 12 months. They’re still booked in to play The O2 on 8 and 9 June, but they’ve also announced a show at O2 Academy Brixton on 25 July. Tickets £35 + bf.

North London favourites Madness always provide a lot of fun at their gigs, so if you’re in the mood for a pre-Christmas shindig then book ahead for their date at The O2 on 14 December. Tickets from £39.50 + bf.

Also booking this week: Newton Faulkner, J-Lo and Dexys.

Image from Roger Zenda under Creative Commons on Flickr.

• The Metropolitan police’s anti-corruption unit is being investigated… over corruption allegations
• Police get fingerprint scanners to quickly identify people. Didn’t we see this in Back to the Future II?
• Roof on Stockwell houses collapses: makes the papers because Will Self lives there
• Social housing tenants will be helped to move to get them nearer a job
• In pictures: Leicester Square’s facelift

Olympicks

• TfL’s travel ambassadors will get iPhones and iPads, at a cost of £1.5m
• Timing, timing: ticket sale website back up after being taken offline overnight for scheduled maintenance

Photo by jaykay72 from the Londonist Flickr pool

For even longer than we’ve been chronicling this great city, a small, irregular fanzine, made of actual paper, has been doing likewise. Smoke: A London Peculiar was a truly special publication, providing words and pictures about the city with panache and wit.

The magazine stopped, then unexpectedly came back as a board game; one with so many arcane rules it made Mornington Crescent seem like Ludo.

A year and a half on, and Smoke is risen once more. This time, it’s a web site.

Helmed, as always, by Matt Haynes and Jude Rogers, the site again collects together stories, pictures, rants and randomness about the capital. We’re pleased to see the return of “Pigeons in Puddles”, long the industry standard for commentary on avian paddling. We also hear that “London’s Campest Statues” is likely to make a comeback, and possibly our suggested companion series “London’s Most Statuesque Camps”, if anyone can figure out what the hell that would look like.

You’ll find Smoke here, their Facebook there, and their Twitter stream here.

And here’s a Google satellite view of the area, so you can compare:

She also painted Elephant and Castle in pachydermal colours, with red elements to represent busses.

This one’s a bit harder to work out. If you look to the red shape in the bottom left, that’s E&C roundabout. Here’s a map to compare:

M’s work can be viewed on Saatchi Online and Facebook.

The rest of the line was snarled up with trains not even leaving Stratford two hours after the incident first happened. One woman is reported to have had a fit, while others reported a lack of information. Transport for London (TfL) are offering £40 distress payments plus ticket refunds for anyone caught up in the train failures.

TfL Commissioner Peter Hendy was up before the London Assembly Transport Committee this morning. The tube’s recent lack of reliability (District Line commuters, feel free to vent your frustration in the comments) was high on the agenda, particularly with the Olympics now so near and the Jubilee line serving so many venues. Hendy said some tube failures will be inevitable during the Games, but that TfL are doing preventative maintenance. Given how much work the Jubilee line has already had on it, we’re not sure this will be enough to reassure Londoners. If you want to question him yourself, go to the London TravelWatch Board meeting next Tuesday.

For mainline train users, TfL confirmed they will express interest in bidding for the Anglia and Southeastern franchises this year – an election pledge to bring Metro rail services into the Overground. River bus services are also going to be increased to Putney.

Jubilee Line evacuation photo tweeted by Miss Jeni Yesterday. This post was updated shortly after publication to clarify river service changes.

Returning for a second year, the festival will feature vendors of every cuisine under Her Glorious Sun, from Taiwanese tea to Balkan kebabs. The festival runs from 1-5 June near the Southbank Centre and is totally free to wander round (you will, of course, have to pay for your nibbles). An impressive list of vendors can be found here.

This could be one of those rare occasions when something described as a smorgasbord actually contains a smorgasbord.

Image via psyxjaw in the Londonist Flickr pool.

Photo courtesy of Union Cycle Works

The Saint Brewing Co. invites you to an evening of contemporary British craft celebrating the British Bicycle.

We’ve come a long way since British engineer, James Starley, invented the Penny Farthing in 1871. And this month’s Saint Presents will honour the British bicycle with guest speakers including independent bike designer and the world record holder of circumnavigating the globe in just 176 days, James Bowthorpe, not-for-profit co-operative Union Cycle Works, and bespoke bicycle frame builder Robin Mather.

“The most efficient machine on the planet? Depends who’s riding,” says James Bowthorpe. “All I know is bikes, and sometimes the people that make them, defy our notion of endless technological progress…The bicycle is an idea that has been completed.”

To hear more from James and other guest speakers at Saint Presents: British Bicycles on 30 May at Look Mum No Hands simply RSVP @EnjoySaint to get your name on the list and an ice cold Saint lager in your hand.

Saint Presents is a monthly series of tailor-made events celebrating contemporary-classic British crafts. Make sure you sign up to hear about their next exclusive event celebrating the craft of photography.

In the meantime, if you’re looking for inspiration for somewhere to go for a Saint this weekend, simply enter your area or postcode in their new stockist finder to receive a list of nearby choices.

You probably know the score. Buy tickets to see a mystery film in a mystery location. Turn up and enjoy all kinds of theatrics and pyrotechnics themed around the mystery film. Then enjoy the film.

This time, however, Secret Cinema is really pushing the boat out (and that’s not a subtle nautical clue…or is it?). A series of warm-up events will take place across London in the run-up to the performances. Ticket holders can sign up to the ‘training centre‘ and pop along to any of the following:

• Physical Conditioning (24 May, 7.30pm)
• Night-time Data Retrieval (25 May, 7.30pm)
• Psychological Training and Preparation (27 May, 3pm)
• Quarantine Briefing, Bio-hacking and Real World Biohazard Containment (28 May, 7.30pm)

What can it all mean? The only way is to grab tickets, then enroll for training with Brave New Ventures.

Secret Cinema runs every day throughout June. Get your tickets here.

To mark that anniversary, and because bonkers walks are the new rock and roll, Maggie’s cancer charity is organising a sponsored walk along the route. You can trek the 7.5 miles any time you want between now and 14 September, on your tod, in a group, in fancy dress…however you like. Just sign up here and get fundraising.

The target fundraising for each entrant is £38, to match the bus route. To further ratchet up the numerology, this is also the cost to Maggie’s every time someone walks in its doors seeking support.

Here’s the entire route in 6 minutes, courtesy of Arriva:

And be sure to follow them on Facebook.

Brutalism’s bold, monumental, and on the whole, deadly serious style remains controversial, years after it was replaced by Post-Modernism and the Neo Vernacular style.

There is a little confusion as to who first coined the term Brutalism — Swedish architect Hans Asplund claims to have used it in a conversation in 1950, but its first written usage was by English architect Alison Smithson in 1952. The term was borrowed from pioneering French architects and refers to unfinished or roughly finished concrete (beton brut in French).

The following are a mix of familiar and somewhat less well-known Brutalist buildings in London. Please add your own personal favourites in the comments section below as there are happily (or not, depending on your standpoint) many examples of this uncompromising architectural style in our beloved capital.

Brunel University Lecture centre
Nearest tube: Uxbridge then take a U3 bus. Map

This imposing mid-60s building famously starred as the ‘Ludovico Medical Facility’ in Kubrick’s legendary film A Clockwork Orange. For this reason alone it is well worth a pilgrimage. It has also appeared in various TV series including Spooks, Silent Witness and Inspector Morse. Its jutting geometric forms mark it as a classic example of mid-period (or ‘Massive period’) Brutalism.

Brunswick Centre
Nearest tube: Russell Square. Map

Designed by Patrick Hodgkinson, this grade ll-listed residential and shopping centre has made several TV and film appearances and even had a song written about it by 90s indie ‘supergroup’ Lodger. The impact of its striking service towers and flying buttresses is softened by the sky blue and cream colour scheme, lending the whole development an almost breezy air.

Royal College of Physicians
Nearest tube: Regents Park/Great Portland Street. Map

Sir Denys Lasdun designed the graceful and discreet geometries of this building. Never a card-carrying Brutalist, he presented a softer version of its often hard-nosed style. Surrounded by the splendid neo-classical terraces of John Nash, The Royal College of Physicians holds it own and manages to be both elegant and entirely of its time.

Centre Point
Nearest tube: Tottenham Court Road. Map

How many times have you walked past this Grade ll listed London landmark and never given it a second thought?

Designed by Richard Seifert and completed in 1966 it was described by the Royal Fine Art Commision as having an ‘elegance worthy of a Wren steeple’. Note how the gentle v-shaped window mullions soften and add interest to this slender, Massive period tour de force.

The swish Paramount restaurant and bar occupies the top floors and has outstanding views of London. There is also a free viewing gallery. Phone up beforehand (0207 4202900) to let them know that you’re coming.

The Barbican
Nearest tube: Barbican/Moorgate. Map

This sprawling (and remarkably easy to get lost in) late Brutalist development houses the wonderful Barbican centre, the largest performing arts centre in Europe and home of the London Symphony Orchestra. The accompanying Barbican Estate gives you the impression of being in a Brutalist theme park. Though voted ‘the ugliest building in London’ in 2003 by some dullards, the tranquil waterside setting, complete with fountains and swaying reeds, renders it positively romantic. The soaring towers and vast concrete volumes are also nicely contrasted by the warmly-coloured tiled paving.

A highly recommended 90 minute architectural tour is available.

Trellick Tower
Nearest tube: Westbourne Park. Map

Designed by the wonderfully-named Erno Goldfinger (Ian Fleming appropriated his surname for the Bond villain, much to the architect’s chagrin), the equally loved and loathed Trellick Tower rears up majestically from west London and has featured extensively in television, music promos and film as well as appearing on mugs, bookends and t-shirts. The approach via Westbourne Park tube can take you through the charmingly named Meanwhile Gardens; apart from being pleasantly verdant, the view from the gardens gradually reveals Trellick Tower in all its splendour.

If you like what you see, check out the Brownfield Estate (nearest tube All Saints DLR, Map), where you can see three iconic Brutalist structures — Balfron Tower, Glenkerry House and Carradale House — for the price of one.

Southbank Centre complex and National Theatre
Nearest tube: Embankment/Waterloo. Map

This bold cultural behemoth has been compared to a nuclear reactor and an overgrown car park, and is often as confusing to navigate as an Escher painting. However, its complex and imposing concrete volumes have many fans and there is an enormous amount to see and do in and around it. Have a good look at the texture of the concrete and you will see a variety of finishes, including the imprints left by the wood ‘shuttering’ (moulds) when the concrete was cast in situ. The Skylon restaurant, housed on the first floor of the Royal Festival Hall has wonderful views over the Thames and is recommended.

Camden Town Hall Annexe
Nearest tube: Kings Cross. Map

Apparently this distinctly curvy (for Brutalism) and attractive building has been earmarked for redevelopment (i.e to be demolished) so go and have a look at it while it still stands.

Built during the late period of Brutalism, The eye-catching curved corner windows illustrate how architects were beginning to move away from the more block-like structures of the Massive period.

Alexandra Road Estate
Nearest tube: Swiss Cottage. Map

A high-density, low-rise housing project, this Grade ll listed building is mounted on rubber pads to minimize noise from the busy railway alongside it. Presumably the relative scarcity of windows on the side facing the tracks, greatly adding to its monumental appearance, was also designed with noise reduction in mind.

The best view of this arresting stadium-like aspect is from Abbey Road, just to the west of the estate as it crosses the railway lines.

Institute of Education, Bedford Way
Nearest tube: Russell Square. Map

Completed in 1979, Sir Denys Lasdun’s enormous structure puts the ‘massive’ into Massive period Brutalism. The huge concrete service towers are highly characteristic of Lasdun’s style but here they are elegantly married with long lines of dark tinted glass windows which hark back to the earlier, pre-Brutalist, International style. A gorgeous hunk of a building, the classic view of it is from the south west corner of Tavistock Square, just to the north.

Ministry of Justice
Nearest tube: St James’s Park. Map

Truly colossal, Basil Spence’s building was accused by Lord St John of Fawsley of ruining St James Park. However, it has a particularly impressive aspect when viewed from the southern area of the park. Unmistakably Massive period brutalist, the cantilevered projection near the top is said to have been inspired by medieval Italian fortresses according to Alexander Clement in his excellent book, Brutalism: Post-war British architecture.

St Giles Hotel
Nearest tube: Tottenham Court Road. Map

If you are an out-of-towner and are looking for somewhere to stay in London, how about the thoroughly Brutalist St Giles Hotel? It’s handily located for visiting the many Brutalist buildings in central London. The building comprises four large cantilevered towers with the windows cleverly arranged on sawtooth projections allowing lots of natural daylight and a good view from every room.

If you fancy getting up-close and personal with a few of the buildings, a short tour is easily possible. Start at King’s Cross to admire Camden Town Hall Annexe on Euston road opposite the station, then take a short walk south to the Brunswick Centre on Hunter Street. Just west of this is London University on Bedford Way. Afterwards make for Tottenham Court Road and head south along it; you will pass St Giles Hotel on your left shortly before arriving at Centre Point.

Text and photographs by Toby Bricheno; @TobyBricheno

Filming for Universe of Sound. (c) B Ealovega.

The Science Museum and the Philharmonia Orchestra are two organisations you wouldn’t normally associate with each other. Yet they have combined forces to launch an interactive exhibition that is both visually and aurally arresting.

The show revolves around the Planets Suite by Gustav Holst. The aim of the exhibition is to make classical music accessible, so it’s a wise choice that most people will recognise.

There are sections of the exhibition dedicated to different sections of the orchestra (eg strings or woodwind), so as you walk around the varying sounds are accentuated. This enables you to grasp how each component plays its part in bringing the orchestral piece to life.

Then comes the fun part. There is a percussion room where you can watch video tutorials to learn how to play the instruments properly. Alternatively, you can ignore this advice and just bash them indiscriminately. You’ll also get the chance to play the conductor via motion tracking cameras that allow you to raise volumes of certain sections of the orchestra with one hand and conduct with the other. A tip from us is to not jump into a piece that’s fast paced as you’ll struggle to keep up and get easily frustrated. But it won’t take you long to get a handle on the slower pieces.

This exhibition is aimed at educating people about orchestra but its greater goal is to bring classical music to a new audience. It does this effectively by using a lot of interactivity and encapsulating you within a soundscape. It’s a unique experience and easily accessible to everyone, whether you’re a fan of classical music or not.

Universe of Sound: The Planets is on display at the Science Museum until 8 July. Admission is free.

To mark the end of the exhibition the Philharmonia Orchestra will be playing a concert of the Planets Suite on 8 July.

Music Print by Lucy Stevens

Sign up to the design site LLUSTRE.com before Sunday 17 June to be in with a chance to win this limited edition Lucy Stevens ‘Music’ print.

Some of London’s finest designers have already featured on design website LLUSTRE.com, and this week they’re working with the latest talented designer, Lucy Stevens to present a limited edition of her works to their members.

London-based designer Lucy Stevens is inspired by things she loves — good food, travel, London, music and typefaces — and her beautiful prints represent these eclectic interests. She spent several years designing book covers before founding her own illustration collection under the name ‘LucyLovesThis’ and now spends her days producing screen-printed illustrations that combine London landmarks with beautiful typography and skillful illustration. 

Lucy’s London Music print – available in a light blue shade exclusive to LLUSTRE and produced in a limited run of just 10 – charts a map of London’s esteemed musical heritage: from Britpop to grunge to electro-pop and everything in between. The print celebrates the variety and musical colour that London offers.

Want to win this limited edition London music print? Go to LLUSTRE.com/thelondonist and sign up with your email address.

Already a member and want a chance to win? All you have to do is make any purchase at LLUSTRE.com before 17 June to qualify and use the code LONDONISTLUCY at the checkout — which will get you £5 off any order over £30 as well as entry into the competition.

LLUSTRE.com is a London-based website, scouring the capital –- and the rest of the world –- for the best in design for the home. Just for members, they curate a selection of the most exciting design products from both emerging designers and established brands, and present them at exclusive prices, as well as writing a daily journal about design they love. Membership is totally free.

Odder still was a moment halfway through proceedings when Nicky Gavron asked the Mayor how the new Homes for London department will differ from the London Housing Board, a question we pondered ourselves last week. Questioned about Shelter’s Homes for London pledge that he signed during the campaign, specifically the parts about protecting people who rent privately (clamping down on letting agents, fairer rents via a Londonwide letting agency and secure tenancies), the Mayor didn’t seem to know what he’d put his name to.

I’m going to have to study the detail of that… I may have had a lot of publicity about [the pledge] but not enough for it to come to my attention

Cue dropped jaws around the chamber and public gallery. We all know that electioneering is a shameless sport, but we rather hope the officials agreeing to high profile campaigns find the time to brief their candidate properly. You can watch the exchange yourself on the archived webcast, at 1 hour 25 minutes in, which also includes the Mayor – possibly realising he’d been caught out – launching into a furious attack on Nicky Gavron moments later.

New Lib Dem member Stephen Knight had clearly been at his calculator: he challenged the Mayor over his claim to be creating 104,000 jobs through the housing programme. Stephen pointed out that the construction programmes account for around 25,000 jobs each year, wondering if Boris was claiming each person employed each year as a new job:

This is as daft as saying the Mayor of London himself will be holding four jobs over the next four years

These jobs are also continuations of the current housing programme; in other words, they already exist. Stephen told the chamber there would be fewer than 200 brand new jobs created by additional house building, prompting a great hoo-ha from Boris about how he’d love to meet these few “heroes” who would be building thousands of houses by themselves, and failing to address the thrust of the question.

Andrew Dismore, Brian Coleman’s conqueror, started as we suspect he means to go on. A House of Commons veteran, he’s like a terrier who won’t let go until he’s got his answer and clearly isn’t impressed by the trademark Boris bluster. These two will come to blows sooner rather than later; their encounters are going to be fascinating to watch.

Unlike many Mayor’s Question Times this year, we actually got some information. Boris said Transport for London is “looking at the steps needed and implications” of implementing Dutch-style cycling. Vauxhall Cross and Greenwich will be the locations of two of three flagship cycle schemes, and Caroline Pidgeon said that of TfL’s review of 500 dangerous junctions, just 39 have been looked at in five months and six passed fit for purpose with no changes needed. TfL says no final decisions have been made. In other comments destined to rile cyclists, Boris repeated his insistence that Elephant and Castle is fine so long as you keep your wits about you, and said that two out of three cyclists killed or seriously injured were breaking road rules at the time.

The Mayor will also be holding monthly Q&A sessions on Twitter, the cost of reducing the Freedom Pass to include 60 year olds could be passed on to local councils (the Freedom Pass is run by London Councils, but Val Shawcross was hoping that as this was a Mayoral pledge TfL would bear the cost), the New Bus for London will go into production next year, the number of people spending more than one night sleeping rough has increased 21% (a figure, from Darren Johnson, that Boris dismissed as “talking crap”). There were also the usual bitter accusations across the floor but we thought we’d let that slide at this, the start of the school term.

In a sign of how the next four years will pan out, the Assembly later symbolically rejected Boris’s appointment of Daniel Moylan to the London Legacy Development Corporation (the post-Olympics body). It”s got absolutely no force behind it, but is basically the left groups firing a warning shot across the Mayor’s bows – he’s going to have a tougher ride.

Photo by Mount Fuji Man from the Londonist Flickr pool. You can watch an archived webcast of yesterday’s Question Time or attend the next one yourself: it’s at 10am on 13 June at City Hall.

Photo taken at Chelsea Flower Show by Stephskimo

All weekend

• The Chelsea Fringe Festival continues, even as the sold out Chelsea Flower Show closes, with 80 projects across London to explore.
• Enfield Pageant of Motoring promises over 2,000 vintage and classic cars, trucks and motorcycles on show, with displays and lots of spare parts available on Enfield Playing Fields (entry £6-9).
• Hither Green Week ends on Sunday, but catch the Animalypics, a fish supper, walks, a teddy bears’ picnic before it does.
• Celebrate the reopening of HMS Belfast at their Family Weekender (General admission applies, get 2-4-1 tickets quoting MPF496 when you buy online).
• Badgerfest presents two nights of playful partying at Dalston’s Passing Clouds from 8pm-5am, Friday and Saturday (tickets £10 single night, £16 for both).
• Learn about the Foundations and Development of Trent Park at Oakwood with their open house weekend including free tours – a great excuse to visit Trent Country Park too (free).
• Digital Shoreditch is underway and there’s stuff about identity on Friday and the chance to Jam & Hack for Cadbury at Google on Saturday and Sunday (free).
• Zippos Circus hoists the Big Top in Finsbury Park until 29 May (tickets from £8/6).

Friday:

• Play with Sandpit at Southbank Centre from 6pm with a whole night of fiendish and fun games and challenges (free).
• Bollywood Bitesized present an evening inspired by film Deewar: Down n dirty at Hotel Elephant Gallery, 77-85 Newington Causeway, SE1 6BD – screening from 7.30pm, fun till late (Tickets: £15 film and afterparty, £5 afterparty only).
• Can you tolerate Vogon Poetry Night at Hackney Picturehouse Attic from 7.45pm? (entry £5/£3).
• Feeling Gloomy’s Smiths’ tribute night is their biggest ever, with the Smyths playing live and a special club night after at 229 Venue, Great Portland Street from 8pm (tickets £11-12 with bkg fee).
• Enjoy the Caught by the River Variety Night at Southbank Centre from 7.30pm (tickets £17.50).
• The fabulous cabaret style Alternative Eurovision takes place in the wonderful Spiegeltent on the Southbank thanks to Time Out from 10.45pm (tickets £19.50).

Saturday:

• A little bit of Kensington Gardens goes Bulgarian with the unveiling of Bulgarian Spring at noon followed by an afternoon of cultural events and a fun run directly after (free).
• The Prince Charles Cinema starts its Pixar Retrospective with a matinee screening of Toy Story at 1.30pm (tickets £6.50/£4 members).
• Explore Jack the Ripper on film at the Cinema Museum, Kennington with a proper Professor of Film Studies from 7.30pm (tickets £8.50/£6.50).
• Hackney WickED the festival may have been cancelled this year but they’re still doing arty events in the area – go to Sugarhouse Studios for artists video, performance art and live music from 8pm (free).
• Watch a special pre-release screening of the Pulp film, The Beat is the Law: Fanfare for the Common People at the O2 Academy Islington at 8pm (£5 adv, includes admission to Feeling Gloomy club afterwards).
• Join the Spanish style street party outside Camino, Kings Cross from 7pm till late (free).
• Keep life varied with the late show, Saturday Night at the Spiegeltent on the Southbank with “comedy, music, clowns and skills” from 10.30pm (£15.50).

Sunday:

• Walk from White City to Wembley to Straford on our Olympic Walk from 9am (free, join us anytime or just follow us on Twitter @londonist)
• Turn out to cheer on the runners in the Bupa London 10,000 starting at 10am on The Mall.
• Shop at the Bethnal Green Affordable Vintage Fair in York Hall with circus, tea and fun from 1-6pm (£2 entry).
• Take the family to Big Nature Day at the Natural History Museum (free).

Other good stuff:

• Free things to do in London
• Museums and Galleries
• Theatre, dance, opera, classical music and exhibitions
• Books and spoken word
• Sci/tech/nerd stuff
• Things to do for a fiver or less
• Cabaret, parties and alt-performance
• Stand up and sketch comedy
• Gigs to go to

Browse all latest arts and events features and make your tummy rumble with our latest food and drink content.

What are you up to this weekend? Let us know in the comments.

Photo by Stephskimo via the Londonist Flickrpool.

But we do not just join any of these nights. This dinner occurs after a lull in activity following The Daily Mail reporting on the club’s distasteful shenanigans. It also postdates the election of a Conservative-led Government, with the members feeling that the ‘Etonians’ Cameron and Osborne speak their language without helping to reverse their class’s decline.

Over the course of the dinner, we are cleverly exposed to the wealth of contradictions that lie at the heart of the members’ attitudes. Formality counts for everything when it comes to knowing when to sit, but does not extend to simply being decent towards others. The members feel their status and ability to pay their way out of any crisis justifies their behaviour, and yet accuse those who take their money of having double standards. Above all, each individual speaks about the brotherhood sticking together and yet ultimately appears to be out for themselves.

There is much to be gleaned from the superb cast – especially Tom Mison’s James, Max Bennett’s Harry and Leo Bill’s Alistair – who between them show just how many distinct variations there can be on the same basic character type. With strong performances, biting social commentary and a good deal of humour (these are the type of people it is therapeutic to laugh at) POSH is quite simply a riot.

Until 4 August at the Duke of York’s Theatre, St Martin’s Lane, London WC2. Buy tickets.

Photo: Joshua McGuire as Guy Bellingfield, one of the Riot Club members vying for the presidency.    

Space Hijackers has now bounced back with another spoof account, itself likely to be short-lived. The account name @London20l2 copies the official channel (@London2012) save for a subtle letter substitution. While the page looks very similar to the genuine article, the content is certainly not. Here are some choice examples…

Follow the parody tweets here, and visit Space Hijackers’ website here.

Forget the studenty fare of many of London’s veggie cafes; here you may find a daily special of hickory-smoked beans on soda bread with cheese and herbs (£7.95). Beans on toast it ain’t. A popular option on the a la carte menu is Yorkshire cheddar and savoy cabbage pudding served with heritage potatoes, creamed celeriac and red wine jus (£8.50). The sharp, tangy taste of top-notch Ribblesdale lifts what could have been a humble, stodgy dish of cabbage, bread and potatoes into something special.

Don’t miss the daily changing selection of cakes, pastries, cookies, scones, buns and tarts, such as the light and delicious early season-strawberry and rhubarb tart (£3.95), or lush, moreish spiced Williams pear and walnut cake with butterscotch (£3.50). Wash it down with a small selection of soft drinks, hot beverages, wines and beers.

Despite the uninspired décor of cream walls, pebble stone floors and clunky dark wood furniture that’s unintentional homage to Cranks circa 1970s, what sets this cosy eaterie apart is the attention to detail. It underpins everything from own-made bread cooked in the basement kitchen (next to a large communal table), to welcoming and knowledgeable staff who don’t miss a thing.

At the entrance to the long, narrow ground floor dining room, there’s a small takeaway counter and grocery, which sells foraged ingredients like currently fashionable wild garlic, and alexanders, an old, forgotten vegetable you may not have heard of. The forager delivers on Thursdays. You’ll have to hurry – word is spreading fast and tables here are not easy to come by, though for fine weather there’s ample shaded seating area outside.

Orchard is located at 11 Sicilian Avenue, WC1A 2QH. 

By Sejal Sukhadwala

The work in progress.

Street artist Eine has painted over one of his own works, the famous CHANGE wall on Old Street. The new mural, in typical typographical style, says ‘Worth More’, and is painted in partnership with the Flavasum Trust, a charity that uses the arts to reach young people, and to warn them of the dangers of carrying weapons.

The collaboration suggests a continuation of theme with Eine’s previous work on the site, which commemorated Tom Easton who was stabbed to death nearby in 2006.

With thanks to Jonnie Fielding for the photo and Global Street Art for information.

Book, poetry and spoken word events in London this week

Wednesday: Rachel Caine talks books and vampires at Foyles from 6.30pm (free, but reservations recommended).

Sarah Butler, Sangeeta Bhargava, Tina Sederholm, Paul Askew, Kate Walton, Marc Nash, Davy Mac, Clare Waters and Davy Mac look at our colloquial past at the Poetry Cafe (8pm, £5).

GREEdS hosts the latest Jawdance at Rich Mix, with Abir Ibrahim, Selina Nwulu, Laurie Bolger and Anthony Fairweather (7.30pm, free).

Thursday: Marina Warner and Hanan al Shaykh discuss bringing the Arabian Nights into the 21st century, at the Festival of Asian Literature (6.45pm, £10 / £8).

Mark Niel and Paul Lyalls are the guest poets at Bang Said the Gun (8pm, £5).

Mark 200 years of Edward Lear with a night of nonsense poetry at the Poetry Cafe (7pm, free).

Mexican poet Homero Aridjis reads from his work at the Swedenborg Society (7pm, free). Ali Smith reads English translations.

Friday: Celebrate five years of Caught By The River at the Southbank Centre, with Tim Burgess, Roy Wilkinson, John Andrews, Michael Smith, Chris Yates and Richard King (7pm, £17.50).

Do you know where your towel is? You might need it if venturing to the Vogon Poetry Slam at Hackney Picturehouse Attic (7.30pm, £5 / £3 in costume or with towel).

Have lunch with Paul French and Misha Glenny at the Festival of Asian Literature (1pm, £15 / £12).

Farrago mark the time of year with an Exam Blues SLAM, with performances from Brother Niyi, Keith Jarrett, Hollie McNish, Rhys Rodger, Hannah Joshua and Lori King (7.30pm, SLAM sign-up from 7pm).

Saturday: Cassandra Clare talks about her latest book, City of Lost Souls, with Shades of London author Maureen Johnson at Theatre Royal Stratford East (2pm, £8 / £13 including copy of book).

Liz Berry, Jenna Butler and Nancy Mattson are the poets performing in St Mary’s church crypt on Upper Street (7pm, £4).

Sunday: Celebrate the work of former laureate John Masefield at Keats House (3pm, £5 / £3).

Monday: The Festival of Asian Literature looks at the Arab Spring, with Ahdaf Soueif, Kamin Mohammadi, Paul Mason and Mishal Husain (6.45pm, £10 / £8).

Kate Mosse talks to Rosamund Lupton about getting published, and then chairs a panel of agents and publishers in a writers clinic, for an Orange and Grazia event at the Southbank Centre (6.45pm, £10).

Ivor Game and Wendy Shutler have some summery poems at the Poetry Cafe (8pm, £5 / £3.50).

Tuesday: Authors shortlisted for the Not-Going-To-Be-Called-Orange-Much-Longer Prize – Esi Edugyan, Anne Enright, Georgina Harding, Madeline Miller, Cynthia Ozick and Ann Patchett – read from their nominated books at the Southbank Centre (7.30pm, £12).

Glyn Maxwell gives a talk based on his new collection of essays, On Poetry, at Keats House in Hampstead (6.30pm, free but email the Poetry Society to reserve a place by Friday).

James Sallis talks about his new book Driven, a sequel to Drive (now a major motion picture, so the saying goes) with Iain Sinclair at Belgravia Books (7.30pm, £5).

Perform your own work at the Poetry Cafe’s open mic night (7.30pm, £5 / £4). Niall O’Sullivan hosts.

Mohammed Hanif, Madeline Thien, Nikita Lalwani, Kim Thuy and Claire Armitstead bust some stereotypes at the Festival of Asian Literature (6.45pm, £8 / £7).

Follow @LondonistLit for our pick of that day’s literary events.

For the first time in Olympic history, next-day stamps will be issued by Royal Mail to celebrate each Team GB Gold Medal win during London 2012.

You don’t need to be a lifelong philatelist to realise this is pretty special. After each amazing home win, picture editors, graphic designers, printers and drivers will swing into action, working around the clock to get the Gold Medallists stamps on sale in 500 selected Post Offices by lunchtime the next day. You’ll also be able to buy them online at www.royalmail.com.

The stamps will feature the athletes captured in a moment of Olympic glory, either in action or proud on the podium.

Be the first to collect all Gold Medallist stamps – register your interest now and you’ll receive a free presentation folder with every subscription to protect your London 2012 souvenirs.

The Gold Medal stamps form part of a special line-up of Royal Mail’s Olympic products. On 27th July, the day of the opening ceremony, Royal Mail’s ’Welcome to the Olympic Games’ stamps will go on sale. On 29th August, Royal Mail will also issue a set of stamps to celebrate the start of the Paralympics Games.

In January, London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games definitive stamps went on sale, marking the Olympic year. This followed the issue of 30 stamps reflecting all the sports competed at the Games in a three-part series between 2009 and 2011.

All the Olympic collection series can be purchased from www.royalmail.com/bethefirst.

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Their dark subtle synth pop nods heavily toward The XX’s and The Mission’s  late night tales, but sisters Collette and Hannah Thurlow add a delicate humanity to create a brutal elegance.

Their self-titled debut album is released 28 May, filled with brooding, shadowy, anthems which encapsulate a bittersweet air of modern music. Most dramatic are the Thurlow’s voices, which are airy, in an almost religious manner, which effectively juxtapose their harsh guitars. They achieve the aural feeling of a subdued School of Seven bells.

On the eve of their release, and while preparing for their biggest headline show to date at Scala, we managed to catch up with Collette for a Londonist Q&A.

What do 2:54 sound like in a sentence?
Dark, menacing, feminine.

Why did you want to start making music together?
We’ve played music together since our teens, it naturally evolved into 2:54.

Who are your influences music and non-music?
Doolin Point in Co. Clare, Ireland where our album cover was shot, a place we spent our childhood summers. Also, soundtrack music, Angelo Badalamenti, Trevor Jones.

How exciting is to be releasing your debut album?
Incredibly! We’re very excited for it to be out in the world.

How was it written and recorded?
Hannah and I completed all the songs at home, when we finish a demo at home, they’re finished. We then took the songs to be recorded at Monow Valley in Wales with Rob Ellis, which was a great experience.

What area of London are you based and how has that area influenced 2:54’s music?
Hackney, for nigh on 11 years, it’s a great place to live but it hasn’t influenced the music I’m afraid.

What’s your favorite London venue and why?
Scala, it’s a wonderful, warm sounding room with a great stage. We’re really excited to be playing our own show there in June.

What’s the London gig circuit like for bands starting out and is it good to grow in and gain exposure?
We’ve only played a handful of shows in London, but I think all gigging is beneficial in the development of a band, no matter where you are in the country or the size of a venue.

Where would 2:54 like to play if you could play anywhere in London?
I wouldn’t mind checking out the reverb in Battersea Power station.

What’s your favorite…
…London monument?
Anything in Trafalgar square because it still feels like a movie when I go there.
…tube line and why?
Central, hands down the quickest.
…place to hang out?
Soho, it still has a glamour to it, for me.
…Area for food?
All over, that’s the beauty of London.

You’ve constantly been receiving critical and blog attention. Has this created any pressure for you, if so how have you dealt with it?
We just concentrate on making the songs and developing the live show, learning how to tour, those things.

What’s been 2:54’s career highlight so far?
Everything, being able to play music everyday with the four of us, with Alex and Joel our amazing rhythm section, is a dream come true.

What are your future plans?
The release of our album, our Scala show in June, America and festivals.

2:54 is released 28 May through Fiction records. They play Scala, Pentonville Road 7 June — tickets  £10+bf through gigsandtours.com

A walkway on top of the O2 in North Greenwich is to open next month.

Previously dubbed The Skywalk and apparently now rebranded as ‘Up at The O2″, the attraction will see climbers kitted out with harnesses and safety gear and led on a 90-minute trip up and over the dome, where they’ll enjoy “spectacular 360 degree views of London from our viewing platform in the centre”.

Unlike the nearby cable car, work on Up at The O2 has mostly flown under the radar of publicity and media coverage, allowing them to beat their dangle-based rival to those all important tourist pounds. There’s a sneak peek at how it looks in this aerial image of the O2 by Jason Hawkes.

Tickets go on sale for O2 customers from today, priced at £22, and for the general public from 30 May.