Another new coat of paint for Village Underground, Shoreditch. Image by M@

• Prince Phillip considers unzipping a lady’s dress in Bromley.
• Ali Dizaei gets his marching orders from the Met police.
• Naff story about Joan Collins stuck in a queue at Heathrow.
• How Peckham will spend £1.7 million of Heritage Lottery Fund money.
• Combative scenes at Kensal Rise library, as the council attempts to remove the books.
• A tour of Balfron Tower, the Trellick Tower’s lesser-known sister.
• Did you know that Kentish Town was once home to the world’s best-known taxidermists?
• Some extremely disheartening facts about housing in London.

Olympicks

• David Beckham plays extreme courier, delivering the Olympic flame to Britain.
• Brush up on your Olympic history with newly released documents on the National Archive’s web site.
• Bus drivers making a noise over Olympic pay.
• A quarter of hospitality tickets have yet to be sold.
• British gold medalists will appear on Royal Mail stamps within 24 hours of their victories.

Suburbia: the domain of the upwardly mobile middle-class; living in identikit housing, striving desperately to escape the monotony. In Lisa D’Amour’s Detroit the neat decking is destroyed as stasis meets chaos.

The play, which premiered in America in November 2010, has been brought to the National in conjunction with Chicago’s prestigious Steppenwolf Theatre Company. It challenges the contemporary reality of being neighbourly. Once people used to share sugar and bake for each other, but now we shy away, scared of what we may find on the other side of the fence.

Ben and Mary are the suburban dwellers; he is only a few weeks away from financial disaster, but doesn’t appear to care, while she feels strangled by her stagnant life. Both need change. The new couple next door offer them an escape, but unfortunately it seems the only route out for Ben and Mary is to join their drug-ravaged neighbours at rock bottom. The couples are desperate for companionship, and each character believes that their new acquaintance will provide saviour for them.

Austin Pendleton’s direction is dynamic and resourceful, transforming the Cottesloe space so that the audience become voyeurs looking over the picket fence.

Will Adamsdale is superb as Kenny, finding astonishing range in a character who could so easily be defined by the stoner stereotype of sluggishness. Clare Dunne as Kenny’s partner Sharon, and Justine Mitchell as Mary, deliver a number of startling monologues; raw and visceral, letting their fears take control. The performances have a tendency to pitch too high, too early, but overall the cast bring potency and intensity to the piece.

The party sequence is a fascinating crescendo as the two couples whip each other up into a frenzy. We are lulled into the mania; transfixed and beguiled by the cathartic nightmare that is enveloping the lives of both couples. The four look like a cult, chanting and stomping across stage, laying the foundations for a new life to be explored.

The text itself, a finalist in the Pulitzer Prize for Drama, is a sumptuous concoction. Funny, frenzied and fearsome – Detroit is a gripping tale about breaking the mould.

Detroit runs at the National Theatre, South Bank, London, SE1 9PX until 14 May. Go here for more information. Tickets are selling well so book soon to avoid disappointment. Picture by Mike Lidbetter.

Valence House Museum, not at night, by M@

Every year, Culture24 arranges a weekend of late openings at many of Britain’s museums and galleries. Museums at Night weekend has arrived once again, and plenty of London’s museums take part. Here’s an alphabetical list by date, for your convenience. Costs apply to some events, and you might need to prebook.

Friday 18 May

• Apsley House, Hyde Park Corner, talks, prebook
• Bank of England Museum, tour and talks
• Bethlem Royal Hospital, Beckenham, talk on the history of Bedlam
• British Dental Association Museum, Marylebone, tour
• British Postal Museum and Archive, Finsbury, photography and a ‘ludicrously brilliant photo booth’
• Brunel Museum, Rotherhithe, music
• Cartoon Museum, Bloomsbury, Edwardian evening
• Cuming Museum, Walworth, quiz
• Design Museum, Bermondsey, film and visual arts
• Dr Johnson’s House, Fleet Street, candlelight talks and tour
• Faber Archive, Bloomsbury, tour, prebook
• Government Art Collection, Bloomsbury, prebook for a tour
• Grant Museum of Zoology, UCL, seduction-themed treasure hunt
• Horniman Museum, Forest Hill, talk about tattoos
• Hunterian Museum, Holborn, evening devoted to Thomas Wakley, founder of the Lancet
• Islington Museum, Islington, talk and walk to the Marx Memorial Library
• Keats House, Hampstead, bug hunt and guided walk, prebook
• Leighton House, Holland Park, recreation of the 19th Century
• London Transport Museum, Covent Garden, music, talk, entrance to new map exhibition
• National Maritime Museum, Greenwich, Londonist quiz about the Thames! prebook
• Museum of London Archaeological Archive, Eagle Wharf Road, talks, tours, prebook
• National Army Museum, Chelsea, family activities
• National Gallery, Westminster, usual late opening, with live music
• October Gallery, Bloomsbury, curator talks
• Old Operating Theatre, London Bridge, have your leg amputated
• Osterley Park House, Osterley, tour
• Ragged School Museum, Mile End, talk from photographer
• Sir John Soane’s Museum, Holborn, candlelit opening
• Somerset House, Strand, live music and tours
• Valence House Museum, Dagenham, an evening of ghost hunting
• Victoria and Albert Museum, South Kensington, concerts
• Whitehall, Cheam, late opening

Saturday 19 May

• Apsley House, Hyde Park Corner, talks, prebook
• Benjamin Franklin House, Westminster, candlelit performance
• British Museum, Bloomsbury, sleepover (limited availability)
• British Music Experience, Greenwich, talks
• Brunel Museum, Rotherhithe, cocktail party
• Cartoon Museum, Bloomsbury, Edwardian evening
• Government Art Collection, Bloomsbury, prebook for a tour
• Kew Bridge Steam Museum, Kew, pumping by candlelight (fnar)
• London Canal Museum, King’s Cross, art and film in hidden places
• National Army Museum, Chelsea, family activities
• Old Operating Theatre, London Bridge, artist-led tour, prebook
• Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology, UCL, screening of Carry on Cleo and talk
• Pump House Gallery, Battersea, art of sport
• Royal Observatory, Greenwich (Sat), talks, workshops and planetarium shows
• Somerset House, Strand, live music and tours

Sunday 20 May

• Museum of Soho, Soho Hotel, short film screenings, prebook

See also, Ian Visits’ pick of the best.

This Saturday sees the start of London’s first ever Chelsea Fringe, which runs for three weeks. Timed to coincide with the Chelsea Flower Show (22-26 May), the Fringe will offer something a lot more eccentric and accessible.  From Bicycling Beer Gardens, Floating Forests and a Caravanserai, to Edible Olympics, Heavy Plant Crossings and Guerilla Garden Tours, Fringe events will take place city-wide and most are gloriously free.

The Fringe is run entirely by volunteers. Over 80 different projects have registered so far.  If conceptual art and cocktails are your poisons, head for the Garden of Disorientation in an old Clerkenwell Slaughterhouse. If hands-on workshops are more your thing, look out for living roof creation classes in Sydenham and urban growing tips at The Dock Garden.

London’s wild side is highlighted with butterfly murals jet-washed onto dirty walls in Acton and Turnham Green, and head to Archbishop’s Park for a Big Buzz and Flutter. There are also numerous open garden offerings buried within the Fringe’s What’s On guide.

We’re reliably informed that there’ll be a day-by-day guide to week one at www.chelseafringe.com/what-to-do-week-one come Friday.

The Chelsea Fringe runs 19 May to 10 June. Find out more at www.chelseafringe.com

Business: The Bowler — Gourmet Balls
Based: “The Lawn Ranger” HQ in Bermondsey
What: Meat, fish and veg balls, served with fresh sauces and sides

The Bowler dishes out tantalizingly tasty meatballs, far removed from the overly salted yet bland balls with gravy slop that are all too common. No, these are made from quality ingredients and individually rolled. That’s thousands of meatballs, all made by hand. With Love. The throngs of people queuing at the grass-carpeted van attest their popularity.

Founder Jez can often be seen proudly working on the ground, stirring sauce, serving (and charming) patrons. Not surprising really, given his culinary journey. A few years ago, he embarked on an intensive three-month cooking and farming course in Ballymaloe, Ireland. It proved to be a life-changing, inspiring experience where he “lived, learnt, cooked, ate, drank, fished, walked and met local producers”. Upon returning, he put his skills and knowledge into practice, working in farmers markets and with organic soups.

So, why meatballs?

“I’ve loved meatballs since I was a kid,” he tells us. “And I have an issue with the quality of mince sold in supermarkets.” It’s not just the quality that’s important; creativity is key, “and the combinations are endless”.

Indeed, the interesting concoctions and explosion of flavors are a major pull. Take the Swedish-inspired ‘Bjorn Balls’ served up with mash, cucumber pickle and ligonberry jam. Great balls of Fire (pork shoulder and beef chuck balls, spiced onion and tomato sauce) are another crowd pleaser. Our personal favorite, however, is ExciThaiBall — chicken meatballs packed with green chili, ginger and garlic, swimming in a fresh green thai sauce and quite addictive.

No longer will we settle for any old balls that come our way.

Find The Bowler

Thursdays in May at Eat.St, Kings Boulevard, N1C (thereafter check listings)
Wednesdays & Thursday evenings in May at The Imperial Arms, Kings Road, SW6
Fridays at Street Feast, E1
And don’t miss a thing on the website, Facebook and Twitter.

See other interviews with London’s food vendors.

Book, poetry and spoken word events in London this week

Wednesday: Not So Popular and Map Poetry present readings for just a pound at The Book Club (7pm, £1).

It’s European Literature Night at the British Library. Catch nine groundbreaking writers from across the continent speaking about and reading from their work (6.30pm, £7.50).

Four debut authors – Will Wiles, Patrick Flanery, Rachel Joyce and Anna Raverat – are talking about going from dream to reality at Waterstones Piccadilly (6.30pm, £5 / £3).

The Asia House Festival of Asian Literature is under way. Tonight Kwasi Kwarteng considers the British Empire (7.30pm, £10 / £8).

Thursday: Mark Haddon chats about his new book The Red House at Waterstones Piccadilly (7pm, £5 / £3).

VG Lee reads from her latest novel Always You, Edina and Will Davis reads from his latest, The Trapeze Artist, at Gay’s the Word (7pm, free).

Leo Benedictus and Gaby Hinsliff join Scott Pack and Marie Phillips for cake and chat about books and random things at the Firestation Book Swap (7.45pm, £5 or free with homemade cake).

Alistair Noon, Nia Davies, Edward Mackay and Andrew Frolish take part in a poetry rodeo at Big Green Bookshop (7pm, free).

Mark Grist, Mixy and Paula Varjack are the guests at Bang Said the Gun‘s stand-up poetry night in SE1 (8pm, £5).

Romesh Gunesekera, Roshi Fernando and Shehan Karunatilaka talk to George Alagiah about Sri Lankan writing at the Festival of Asian Literature (7pm, £10 / £8).

Friday: We’re in the middle of inhaling Bring Up The Bodies, the sequel to Hilary Mantel’s award winning Wolf Hall. Hear her talk about it at the Southbank Centre (7.30pm, £15 / £12).

The Ways with Words festival starts today, all events take place in Holland Park. Highlights include AS Byatt (6pm, £12), Maureen Lipman (2.30pm, £12) and John McCarthy and Sandi Toksvig (11am, £12).

Jasmine Ann Cooray, Peter Ebsworth, Frances White and Patric Cunnane are the Dodo Modern Poets at the Poetry Cafe (8pm, £6 / £5).

Saturday: The Swan and Edgar pub is the venue for a novel diner, with food themed around Donna Tartt’s book The Secret History. The menu includes morels on sourdough, Julian’s lamb, leeks and fennel and marmalade cheesecake (£40).

Catch Jeremy Paxman, Bettany Hughes, Gavin Pretor-Pinney, Alain de Botton and Jung Chang at the Ways with Words festival in Holland Park (see website for times and prices).

There’s free storytelling for children at the Festival of Asian Literature, from Xanthe Gresham and Shahrukh Husain Shackle (11am / 1pm).

Leigh Russell and Howard Linskey head to Chipping Barnet library for a criminal talk during Murderous May (2.30pm, free).

Caroline Carver launches her latest collection, Tikki Tikki Man, at the Poetry Cafe (7.30pm).

Sunday: Are You Sitting Comfortably? Then White Rabbit will begin a storytelling evening about secrets at the Wandsworth Arts Festival (8pm, £8).

Back in Holland Park for the final day of Ways with Words, you can see AA Gill, Evan Davis, PD James and Penelope Lively, Tony Benn and Andrew Marr (see website for times and prices).

Monday:  Kate Summerscale talks about her new book, Mrs Robinson’s Disgrace (based on a real Victorian woman’s diary), at the Southbank Centre (7.45pm, £10).

Philip Hensher and Tahmima Anam discuss the Bangladeshi novel at the Royal Society of Literature, Somerset House (limited non-member tickets available on the door from 6pm, £8).

Nick Laird and Maura Dooley read the translated work of Persian poets Reza Mohammadi and Azita Ghahreman at the Festival of Asian Literature (6.45pm, £8 / £7).

Coffee House Poetry celebrates the life of Peter Redgrove with Penelope Shuttle, Katrina Naomi, Pascale Petit and Alan Brownjohn (8pm, £7 / £6).

Tuesday: Join Londonist’s M@ and authors Christopher Fowler, Craig Taylor and Tom Jones for an evening of London book chat at Deptford Lounge (7pm, free).

Literary agent Lorella Belli is the speaker at this month’s London Writers’ Club (7pm, £15 / £20).

Andrea Stuart, Lawrence Norfolk and Esther Freud are at the Bloomsbury Institute to help Granta launch its Britain issue (6.30pm, £10 / £5 / £7 Granta subscribers).

Peter Popham, Rani Singh, Mukulika Banerjee and Jane Macartney discuss women, power and politics at the Festival of Asian Literature (6.45pm, £10 / £8).

Try out your own stuff at the Poetry Cafe‘s open mic night, hosted by Niall O’Sullivan (7.30pm, £5 / £4).

Follow @LondonistLit for our pick of that day’s literary events.

Olympic over-exposure is temporarily tempered while London works itself into a frenzy over the Queen’s big anniversary. The latest instantiation of monarch mania comes from Transport for London, which has dolled up a couple of its Tube trains in patriotic patterns. One went into service on the appropriately named Jubilee Line yesterday, the other next week.

It’s not a huge change to livery — Tube trains are normally red, white and blue, of course. But the royalist rolling stock will also sport faux-bunting and images of a crown and diamonds designed by kids. The latter is lifted from the commemorative Oyster cards we previously featured.

You’ll be pleased to hear that us commoners are not (directly) paying for the decoration — it’s funded by TfL suppliers.

Southampton Row seems to be the place you’re most likely to get hit by a fine if you go over your pay and display time or park illegally. That street racked up nearly £1.2 million worth of tickets alone. This, says The Sun, is an average of 50 drivers a day, which is about five an hour during working hours. In a way, we’re surprised it’s not more.

Second place goes to Bounds Green Road. The street has two separate controlled parking zones over it, so maybe confusion can partly explain its high ranking? Whatever the case, dodgy parking resulted in £1 million in fines for Haringey council. Other places that are evidently patrolled by particularly keen-eyed wardens and cameras are Clapham Park Road, Barking Road, Old Broad Street (people picking up at Liverpool Street?), Greenford Road, Clements Road in Redbridge, Chiswick High Road, Mare Street and Lea Bridge Road. Have any locals got suggestions for why these roads are so lucrative for the respective councils?

Perhaps surprisingly, even with all its bad press over parking, Westminster didn’t get a street in the top 10.

Photo by Chi Bellami from the Londonist Flickr pool

The Impressionists were able to turn their artistic talents to any subject, in landscape, portrait or still life. Modern painters tend to be much more restrictive in their subject matter and stick to one or two narrow areas of expertise.

Luke Martineau is different in that he’s as comfortable painting flowers in a vase as he is with the New York skyline or the Exmoor countryside.

Monet and Grimshaw had an affinity for London but most contemporary landscape artists prefer the more scenic views of the Scottish highlands or the Cornish coast. So it’s refreshing that Martineau is able to find beauty in the everyday of our city, whether it be the river Thames or Turnham Green Tube station.

The other city to feature strongly in his work is New York. He is able to capture both the traditional view of Times Square and the rather unorthodox painting of construction workers on a scaffold.

In terms of technique, Martineau may not offer anything that you haven’t seen before but the diversity of his portfolio means that there’s something to meet everyone’s tastes, as suggested by the fact that half of his works had already been sold before the exhibition opened.

Luke Martineau: My Life in Paint is on display at Panter & Hall, 27 Bury St, SW1Y 6AL until 8 June. Entrance is free.

WhipCar.com is changing the way Londoners drive.

It’s a neighbour-to-neighbour car rental service that matches up people who need a car with car owners who don’t drive every day. The owner sets a price, the driver requests a time and WhipCar takes care of the insurance.

You can rent for a few hours, days or weeks. Car owners can make over £1000 a year and drivers get to choose from all sorts of cars – all well looked after and just a short walk from home.

Need a car?
See what you could be driving at WhipCar.com/Londonist and you’ll get £10 off your first booking.

Own a car?
See what you could earn. Enter your number plate here for your free rental valuation.

Click the map of Whipcar's London locations to find your nearest car

WhipCar.com – Rent the car next door.

This video isn’t new — it was uploaded to Vimeo seven months ago — but it’s definitely worth four minutes of your time. London’s many shapes and contours are captured in a beautifully shot film that combines timelapse photography, tilt / shift (that trendy lens trick that makes buildings look like models) and slow-motion cinematography. The soundtrack is by Rael Jones, who also wrote music for the recent Sherlock TV series; in fact the film bears some resemblance to that show’s credit sequence, which is no bad thing.

According to the filmmakers, their intention was to “capture the spirit and endless energy of London”. Job done.

Many thanks to Paul Southwood for posting this to our Facebook page.

See also:

Video: London On High

Click through for medium resolution view.

Perhaps inspired by the hyper-dense mapping of Stephen Walter, Jojo Oldham has put together her own take on the centre of London. She includes “the best and worst that London has to offer. Full of crap drawings, musings and mistakes.”

Actually, there’s plenty to admire here. Jojo awards certain areas with rosettes, declaring them ‘edgy’, ‘past it?’ and ‘chaotic’. The compact annotations point out shops, bars and attractions of note (to the artist), with frequent asides sandwiched in between streets. It’s one to savour.

Section of central London at higher resolution (click through).

You can get a print of the map for £120 (33 times cheaper than a Stephen Walter) here.

We’re still looking for more hand-drawn maps (and they can be much simpler than this one). Send your work to tips@londonist.com

Previously: 101 Dalmations, Albertopolis, Angel to Bankside, Anglo-Saxon London, Bloomsbury, Borough of Southwark,Brixton as a tree, Central London, Central London with no street names, District Line (Wimbledon Branch),Docklands, Driver’s Mind Map, Family History, Fleet Valley, Hackney, Hampstead Heath, Honor Oak Park,Hoxton Square, Isle of Dogs, Kingsland Road, London as a grid, King’s Cross and Islington, Ladbroke Grove,London firsts, Markets, Mayfair, Mayfair Squares, New Cross, New Cross (the fields of), Notting Hill, Paris versus London, Patchwork London, Pigeon London, Pimlico, River Fleet, Secret Gardens, Primrose Hill, Rivers, Shoreditch, Stoke Newington,Stratford, Toilets, Tottenham to Aldwych on bike, Tube from memory, Walthamstow by mother and daughter,West Hampstead, Westminster kettling.

Backbeat: rare back-to-front Abbey Road image up for sale. And Paul's in sandals.

• Look, a photo of the Beatles crossing the road in a contradictory fashion.
• A polemic against Canary Wharf. Have fun picking holes, if you’re so inclined.
• Met officer found shot dead at North Woolwich police station.
• Boris says the cable car probably won’t be ready for the Olympics. Unsubstantiated rumours from other quarters suggest he’s playing it safe, and we could be riding the Arabfly Dangleway (copyright, Diamond Geezer) as early as June.
• Occupy the Sky, says a Finsbury Square Occupy protestor. Is this their Icarus moment?
• District and Piccadilly Line trains delayed due to wrong kind of hand grenade near the tracks.

Olympicks

• Anish Kapoor defends his love it/hate it Orbit tower in the Olympic Park.
• And, we only just found this, some urban explorers managed to scale the Orbit back in January.
• Aussie marksman to wear a lime green mankini at the Olympic opening ceremony.
• The IOC turns down Israel’s suggestion of a minute’s silence to mark the 40th anniversary of the Munich Olympics terrorist action.
• Start planning your Olympic TV habits.
• Paralympic torchbearers announced.

At a mini-conference we attended this morning, a distinguished historian of London summed up Stoke Newington as a “trendy lefty ghetto”. Ouch. You can almost hear the sound of handleless servings of flat white falling to the ground in outrage. Well, we’re going to go judge for ourselves by spending some serious quality time at the  Stoke Newington Literary Festival in early June.

Events are spread among Church Street venues like a string of pearls, with a pendant of literary gems dangling down the High Street. There’s a particular richness of London-themed happenings. In fact, they’re going to fill the next two paragraphs. Watch.

Craig Taylor (Londoners) and Mark Mason (Walk the Lines) wrote our two favourite books of last year.  They meet for the first time on 3 June to discuss their shared obsession with London; suffice it to say, you’ll want to take a notepad. On Saturday, you can catch two novelists — Justin Cartwright and Jonathan Lee — whose recent novels were both set in the Square Mile. On the same day, Pete Brown’s in the White Hart to talk about good pubs and, specifically, the George in Borough, the subject of his forthcoming book.

Another meeting of heavyweights takes place in Abney Public Hall on Saturday, when Hackney commentator par excellence Iain Sinclair sits in with noted London novelist China Miéville and urban explorer Laura Oldfield Ford (Savage Messiah). Ken Worple presides. Frustratingly programmed at the same time, some of the authors from the wonderful Acquired for Development By… anthology (to be reviewed on these pages soon) talk about Hackney redevelopment. Aaaaand there’s more, but this post is going to get cumbersome if we list out all the Londony stuff going on.

Elsewhere…a touch of celebrity on Friday night (1 June), as stand-ups Josie Long and Robin Ince open proceedings. Fellow funnyman and first-time novelist Danny Wallace also makes an appearance. George Alagiah off of BBC News pops up a couple of times, chairing a discussion on where our dinners are sourced from, and in conversation with photographer Dennis Morris on London’s race relations in the 1960s and ’70s. We also like the sound of the guided tours of radical hackney, a tipple through gin in literature, and what it’s like to be a music journalist who loses his hearing, as Nick Coleman did.

Plenty for the kids, too. Meet a Gruffalo, learn to smell stories, draw some comic book action, and enjoy some gruesome tales.

Finally, the closing event sees Helen Smith host a mix of words and music in a Literary Cabaret for Sunday night.

Stoke Newington Literary Festival runs 1-3 June. Ticket prices and venues vary. Peruse the programme here. Facebook ‘em here (where we nicked the photo from).

They don’t just exist online either: there have been three packed events at the Port Eliot Festival and others along the Thames, plus books and podcasts. Now, to celebrate their fifth birthday, they’re heading to the Southbank Centre with a variety show that should capture the essence of who they are.

Expect The Charlatans’ Tim Burgess chatting about his autobiography Telling Stories, Roy Wilkinson reading about British Sea Power, angling historian John Andrews and Culture Show presenter Michael Smith discussing nature, Robert Macfarlane reading from his new book The Old Ways to a soundtrack of field noises, Chris Yates talking about his new book Nightwalker, poetry from Will Burns and live music from Diagrams. Sounds like the perfect way to unwind after a busy week.

The Caught By The River Variety Show is on Friday 25 May, 7pm, at the Southbank Centre. Tickets cost £17.50.

With the Animal Art Fair opening this Thursday, we spoke to one of the artists, Dominique Salm, to find out what inspires her.

How did you get into art, specifically animal art?
I’ve always wanted to be an artist since childhood. Two inspirational figures were my grandmother who was an artist and my next door neighbour who was specifically a wildlife painter. I remember walking into my neighbour’s studio while he was working on an oil painting and being enraptured by it. This together with my love of animals heavily influenced my current path.

Even at art college, where I was encouraged to experiment with other subjects, I was never interested in painting anything else. I love animals, and having the chance to see and spend time with them is an amazing opportunity.

Do you have a favourite animal that you like to paint?
Not particularly, I’ll go through phases where I’ll paint, for example, several ostrich paintings but then I’ll switch to another animal. Changing it up keeps things interesting and ensures you bring the same level of enthusiasm to each piece.

The act of creating the painting and presenting an accurate representation of that animal is more important than which animal I’m painting.

What can you tell us about your technique?
I have to go and see the animals first to capture their essence. But I’ll take many photos and paint from these. With wild animals it’s hard to paint plein air but sometimes the opportunity does present itself, for example I recently painted some lion cubs and as they had recently been orphaned they were being raised on a compound so I had constant access to them.

With my elephant paintings, I felt I couldn’t capture the red pigmentation of the dust that they’re caked in. So I used the earth from Kenya and mixed it into my work.

There’s a lot of animal art on the market, what differentiates you from the rest?
I’d like to think I’m quite different in that when I first started painting animals, I was the only one painting them without any background, as I felt it took the focus away from the subject. This has now become my signature style. I’ve also tried to explore the comical side of animals and I try to give them human characteristics so people can relate to them. I grew up surrounded by dogs and one spaniel in particular always used to make me laugh with her expressions, so I try to bring out a humorous side in some of the animals I paint.

The Animal Art Fair runs from 17-20 May and will be on the Riverside Walkway on the South Bank (between the National Theatre and the Oxo Tower).

You can find out more about Dominique Salm and her work on her website.

It might have been re-badged in honour of the Olympics but the sixth London Burlesque Week was no less of a spectacle.

Partly due to the success of local performer Beatrix Von Bourbon on Britain’s Got Talent, the artform lovingly described by the Guardian as “stripping for posh people” has rarely been in greater demand.

This year’s festival comprised of seven individual UK and international contests plus opening and closing ceremonies spread over seven days.

Amidst the tornado of tassels (or pasties to the initiated) and Swarovski-encrusted corsets, there was a huge variety of performers and performances. While there is still a strong predominance of classic (or “cheesecake”) burlesque, occasionally backed by perenial favourites “Feelin’ Good” or “I’m Too Sexy”, three nights were dedicated to alternative performers.

The Triple Crown saw Anna The Hulagan undress while shimmying within a blazing hula hoop and Kiki Lovechild show off his unique brand of furlesque. The next night, Ireland’s Big Chief Random Chaos walked away with the Twisted Crown for an act which saw him running around in a tutu, sitting on tacks and setting his mohican on fire. Last but not least, an evening dedicated to boylesque saw circus tricks, showtunes and a strange collection of props including a banana skirt, a gramophone and a strategically placed sock.

Every event we attended was packed with roughly equal numbers of men and women with the audience often dressing up for the occasion in corsets and other vintage garb. Organiser Chaz Royal has taken note of the growing popularity of the scene and announced that next year’s London Burlesque Festival will be over ten days. Roll on 2013…

All pictures (c) Jose Farinha

Photographs of decaying East End shopfronts go on show for the first time this week in Tower Hamlets.

Fans of derelict London, old signs and local history will love these photos taken by Alan Dein, an oral historian and broadcaster, who lived in Stepney in 1988 and decided to capture these retail relics on film before they vanished. As he says,

In 1988 these ex-shops didn’t have long left. Long after the interiors had turned to dust, what you see are pretty much their last appearances on earth.

His collection of 250 photographs have been digitised and added to Tower Hamlets’ history library’s collections. A selection of them will be on display alongside contextual material from the archives and contemporary images of the buildings today.

Members of the public are invited to attend the exhibition launch on Thursday 17 May, from 6-8pm. Please RSVP to localhistory@towerhamlets.gov.uk to book your place.

After You’ve Gone: East End Shopfronts 1988 by Alan Dein opens on Thursday 17 May at the Tower Hamlets Local History Library & Archives, 277 Bancroft Road E1 4QD. Admission free.

Yoobi serves made-to-order temaki (nori wrapped sushi cones you can eat with your hand) in a neat and attractive spot in the heart of Soho. To be sure, the origins of temaki are Japanese. Whereas it was always just a humble item on the side of a menu in Japan, temaki took off in a big way among the Japanese immigrant community in Brazil to become an ultimate and yummy dine on the hoof kind of everyday treat.

Yes, more street food for London. Prices are right, serving sizes ample enough (more than satiating without feeling stuffed) and the minimal vibe with classic Brazilian music piped through is pleasant.

Yoobi’s temaki come as simple (£3.20), special (£3.60) and deluxe (£4). They also serve maki rolls, sashimi boxes, sides and more (they had fresh guava juice on our visit – yum!). Londonist particularly enjoyed a spicy tuna temaki (£3.60) with line caught tuna, romaine lettuce, croutons (a healthy crunch alternative to fried tempura), special sauce and rice.

It was fun watching our order be rolled by hand. Compared to the packed Pret and some other nearby eateries, Yoobi was a 1pm walk-in wonder with hardly anyone around when we popped round for a weekday sample. We suspect that won’t be the case for long, but for the time being, you can leave the crowds at less tasty check out lines.

Yoobi is located at 38 Lexington Street, W1F 0LL.

Photo/Chris Osburn

Disclaimer: Londonist visited Yoobi upon invitation of the restaurant.

A new Banksy has appeared on the side of the Poundland store on Wood Green High Road near Turnpike Lane station in north London.

This photo was taken by Luke Giles and posted by Richard McKeever on local forum Bowes and Bounds Connected while it still had its bunting attached along the wall yesterday – there’s a wider angle photo here.

As Richard notes, it “looks like a comment on the upcoming Jubilee celebrations, maybe a reference to the London 2012 Olympics – and its siting in Wood Green High Road may have a resonance with the street disturbances and looting of last summer.” What do you think?

How long the bunting will linger or the piece survive undefaced or un-perspexed remains to be seen.

Browse our Banksy archive for more.

• The sexiest parts of London, as measured by sex-aid sales.
• A boat from Limehouse to the Olympic Park will cost £95 for an adult ticket. “We are not taking advantage,” says the operator.
• Want to take over the Olympic stadium, post games? You’ve got an extra eight weeks to put a bid together.
• The cable car is almost complete. Looking rather handsome if you ask us.
• Madame Tussauds gets a new Queen.
• Tony Robinson mentors train drivers on how to be more funny.
• Mount Pleasant sorting office gets £32 million machine.

Image of the cable car by Ian Visits in the Londonist Flickr pool.

There’s an old and apocryphal London saying that you’re never more than six feet away from a rat. This new map from Stephen Walter shows how you’re never more than a furlong from a subterranean oddity.

Walter has painstakingly charted the buried rivers, Tube lines, bunkers, sewers, government tunnels and other hypogeal secrets of London. He’s also included mysterious and underworld elements, such as unsolved murders, ley lines and pagan burial sites. Like his famed 2008 work The Island, to which this is a companion piece, London Subterranea is a mesmerising tagliatella, combining painstaking research with artistic whimsy.

We can’t reproduce the whole thing in high-res, but you can view the original art work at London Transport Museum’s new Mind the Map exhibition, which opens on Friday 18 May. Parts of the map are reproduced here courtesy of TAG Fine Arts, who represent the artist and have high-quality limited edition prints available.

See also:

• Our own (relatively pathetic) map of subterranean London
• Audio of Stephen Walter and other mappers in conversation with Londonist.
• Book review: London Under by Peter Ackroyd.

Authors Joseph Bullman, Neil Hegarty and Brian Hill investigate six London roads: Reverdy Road in Bermondsey, Deptford High Street, Arnold Circus in Shoreditch, Caledonian Road in Islington, Portland Road near Notting Hill and Camberwell Grove.

Each thoroughfare has a different story to tell. Portland Road, for much of its history, was an impoverished no-go area, gradually gentrifying but still showing a marked increase in affluence from north to south. Arnold Circus was built from the rookeries of the Old Nichol, transformed from the worst slum in London to a model housing estate. Camberwell Grove has yo-yod in and out of respectability. Even the Cally Road flirted with the well-to-do for a time, before prisons, asylums, railways and noisome industries brought the area down. In fact, the changing face of all six areas serves as an antidote to Peter Ackroyd’s regular musings about London neighbourhoods maintaining the same essence over centuries.

The primary source, in each case, is the maps of Charles Booth, who colour-coded the levels of poverty in individual buildings in the late Victorian era. Consequently, the beef of each chapter slow cooks in this period, describing the living conditions, health, spiritual makeup, hopes, dreams and fears of the denizens of each street.

The histories get more interesting as they approach our own times. We find ourselves in a city where housing issues are once again at the top of the agenda, with the affluent few increasingly squeezing financially less fortunate communities out of central areas. Who, now, can afford to buy their own home in London? The book does a splendid job of explaining how we reached this point, in the context of previous housing trends. What will these six streets look like in another 20 years? We look forward to the TV series.

The Secret History Of Our Streets – London is out now from BBC Books. Buy here.

Read more London book reviews here.

Angelin Preljocaj takes inspiration from the darker aspects of the Brothers Grimm fairytale for his version of Snow White. Unlike Disney’s saccharine 1937 film, Preljocaj punctuates his ballet with brutality, taking the audience into a strange and primal world, filled with visceral sexuality and evil.

It opens with a pregnant woman writhing about the floor and fatally giving birth. The tone is thus set for the entire ballet; there is never a moment of joy without a counterpoint of bleakness. Even when a happy marital ending seems inevitable, the Queen is forced to dance herself to death in red-hot iron shoes.

The production’s Snow White (Nagisa Shirai) is not an innocent victim. At court, she crosses and uncrosses her legs with a sense of unfulfilled yearning that expose the character’s deepest sexual desires. Her costume, by Jean Paul Gaultier, embodies both her virginal naivety in its white, flowing chiffon and her potent passions in its figure-revealing slits and contours.

The Queen, Patrizia Telleschi, is more overtly lascivious in shiny black bondage gear and stilettos. Angular high kicks draw attention to her uncovered inner thighs and give a commanding sense of power. Accompanied by two lycra-hooded and gagged cat slaves, she is like an erotic dominatrix. Even the seven dwarfs take an unconventional form. They become spinning acrobats who somersault up and down a vertical cliff face.

The ballet has moments of enticing genius. The Queen forces the poisoned apple into Snow White’s mouth and drags the young princess about the stage, teeth gripping fruit, in a remarkable and mesmerising duet. The prince’s subsequent dance with Snow White’s limp body is equally stirring and cleverly conceived. But there is also a lot of hollow, uninspired movement that seems to fill time rather than take forward the story or create any visual enticement. Gustav Mahler’s music is similarly hit and miss.

Preljocaj takes Snow White into a modern, dark and seductive realm that isn’t always enthralling but never fails to surprise.

Ballet Preljocaj’s Snow White ran from Thursday to Saturday last week. Check out more ballet both from the UK and around the world at Sadler’s Wells. Visit www.sadlerswells.com to find out more.

By Laura Dodge

And the winner is...The Scolt Head.

Part ‘D’ of our two-year alphabetical pub crawl around London.

We asked you to vote for your favourite pubs and bars in the Dalston area, and you duly obliged. Here are the results:

1. The Scolt Head, Culford Road
2. The Duke of Wellington, Ball’s Pond Road
3. The Prince George, Parkholme Road
4. The Talbot, Mortimer Road
5. The Three Compasses, Dalston Lane
6. Railway Tavern, St Jude Street
7. Dalston Superstore, Kingsland High Street
8. Junction Room/Hysteria, Kingsland Road
=8. The Haggerston, Kingsland Road
=8. The Yucatan Bar, Stoke Newington Road

We specifically left the definition of ‘Dalston’ up to you, leading to some curious inclusions (Bar Kick in Shoreditch and the Approach Tavern in Bethnal Green being two particularly far-out examples). Indeed several of the top 10, including winner The Scolt Head, might be considered outside of Dalston proper. But that’s of no importance. The point is to put together a pub crawl of great places in the Dalston area, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do…

Please join us for a crawl around the top four pubs on Monday 28 May. The itinerary will be the Duke of Wellington (6.30pm), The Scolt Head (7.30pm), The Talbot (8.30pm), The Prince George (9.30pm). (And if we’re in the mood, we might head on to the Three Compasses for a final drink.) If you’d like to join us, please email matt@londonist.com, so we can keep an eye on numbers. Everyone who comes along gets a Londonist booze badge, and the first person to find us gets a T-shirt.

Here’s a map showing all nominated pubs. Dotted green pins are the top four, yellow pins show the rest of the top 10, and red pins show the remaining choices.

View Dalston pubs in a larger map

Previously in the A-Z pub crawl

• A = Angel
• B = Brixton
• C = City of London 

Louise Giblin Olympian Series 1 - Kriss Akabusi

Body Casting Olympians

The case can be made that the body of an Olympic athlete is a work of art, sculpted through years of training. Louise Giblin thinks so too and has created pieces based on the bodies of notable British Olympians including Kelly Holmes, Kriss Akabusi and Sally Gunnel. She covers their torsos in plaster and uses these casts to create writhing interlocking metal sculptures.

Yes, it’s yet another Olympics tie-in that could only happen in 2012 (or whenever we next host the Olympics) but it’s a truly unique approach to marking the games.

Louise Giblin – Body Casting Olympians is on display from 21-26 May. Admission free.

Wildlife Artist of the Year

Claire Harkness, Oxpecker Ride (detail)

It seems as if the art world is aflutter with animals. The animal art fair opens next week and Abigail Box had a recent exhibition of entertainingly surreal lion and tiger portraits.

This exhibition presents the entrants and overall winner of the annual competition held by the David Shepherd Wildlife Foundation to crown the top wildlife artist of the year.

Expect plenty of cute animal portraits and contemporary works re-imagining animal art.

Wildlife Artist of the Year 2012 & Wildlife Art Exhibition is on from 22-26 May. Admission free.

News and Views
Londonist Out Loud is presented and produced by N Quentin Woolf. This week’s show comes from the Foundling Museum in Bloomsbury, which tells the story of the first hospital for abandoned children.

His guests this week are:

• John Rees, writer, broadcaster, activist, author of The Algebra and Revolution, involved in Stop The War Coalition, and co-author of A People’s History of London.
• Lindsey German, socialist writer and activist, involved in Stop The War Coalition, co-author of A People’s History of London.
• Matt Cook, co-editor of Love London Museums, a website about London’s small and quirky museums.

The guests discuss recent London news and features, including the results of the mayoral elections, the history of the Foundling Museum, the ‘ingredients’ of a good museum, the Love London Museums website, William the Conqueror’s castles, London’s population growth, and the usual historical quiz.

Caro Howell, Director of the Foundling Museum, takes NQW for a tour of the museum’s latest exhibition on the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens (see picture).

Remember, you can subscribe to Londonist Out Loud via iTunes or RSS.

This week’s show is sponsored by payasUgym

Want to try free indoor cycling classes in Battersea?

Soul4Cycle is a new, pay-as-you-go indoor cycling studio. There’s no membership or monthly subscription to get between you and your static bike workout. Just buy class credits and use them up as you get those legs moving.

If you are looking for a healthy and efficient, fun and social workout with great music and motivational instructors, this is the place for you. Soul4Cycle offers distinct class styles incorporating hills, flats and interval training but ultimately with indoor cycling, you’re in control of your resistance and your workout.

Fitness enthusiasts, cyclists, triathletes and beginners are all welcome.

Want to try it out? Londonist readers can claim TWO free introductory class by emailing info@soul4cycle.co.uk and quoting Londonist in the subject line.

Soul4Cycle is based at Nuffield Health, Sheepcote Lane, Battersea SW11 5BT. For more information visit www.soul4cycle.co.uk or ’like’ Soul4Cycle on Facebook.

Another batch of incredible aerial shots of London by photographer Jason Hawkes, who used the (apparently brief) glimmer of warm weather this weekend to snap the capital from the skies. Jason’s work is becoming a firm favourite in the Londonist office: we’ve previously enjoyed his pictures of the Olympic Park and a video of the city at night.

See more photographs from the weekend’s shoot over at Jason’s website.

All photographs by Jason Hawkes.

Clock mechanism in St Augustine's Tower, Hackney (events all week). Image by M@.

London events for people with curious minds.

All Week

The hot tickets this week are to listen to historical talks inside St Augustine’s Tower, Hackney. Mon, Tue and Friday’s talks are fully booked, but you can still get tickets to see Sean Gubbins talk about Hackney History (Wednesday) and Ken Worpole discuss the forgotten author of Ball’s Pond Road. FREE, 7.30pm

Monday 14 May

BOOKS: The Fiction Lab book club returns to the Royal Institution tonight. Turn up and talk about the book of the month: The Killing’s Done by T. Coraghessan Boyle. FREE, 7pm

GENERAL GEEKERY: Mark Henderson, science correspondent for The Times, has a new book out, and it’s called The Geek Manifesto. Celebrate the launch at the Westminster Skeptics in the Pub, in The Monk Exchange, Victoria. £2, 7.30pm

Tuesday 15 May

POLITICAL MATHS: Gresham College have a talk from the chief scientific advisor to the Home Office at Barnard’s Inn Hall, Holborn. Bernard Silverman will discuss, in particular FREE, 6pm

TUNNELS: The proposed Thames Tunnel, a 25 metre sewer beneath the river, is the subject of a talk at the Geological Society (Burlington House) tonight. FREE, 6pm.

JOURNALISM: This month’s Bright Club at the Wilmington Arms, Finsbury tackles the ever-changing world of journalism. Listen to journalists, academics, comedians and museums dissect the press. £5, 7.30pm

STAR TREK: Boldly go to the Ritzy bar in Brixton for an evening devoted to the science of Star Trek, courtesy of the PubSci group. FREE, 7.30pm

Thursday 17 May

NURSING: The changing reputations of Florence Nightingale and Mary Seacole are examined in a talk at the wonderful Florence Nightingale Museum tonight. FREE, 6.30pm

MEDICINE: Wellcome Collections ‘Tell it to your Doctor‘ series continues with a discussion between a sufferer of chronic fatigue syndrome and her doctor. FREE, 7pm

BEERS: The Geekpub meetup group hosts a new members evening at Namco Station on the Southbank, for booze, gaming talk and general geek mingling. FREE, 7pm

Friday 18 May

SURGERY: The Hunterian Museum puts on an evening devoted to Thomas Wakley, founder of The Lancet and thorn in the side of the Royal College of Surgeons, who died 150 years ago. The event forms part of Museums at Night, during which lots of London’s small museums open late for special events. FREE, 6-9pm

MAPS: London Transport Museum’s contribution to Museums At Night is to hold a special late opening themed around its new Mind The Map exhibition. Sideshows include a talk from author Craig Taylor and a mappy workshop with Claire Brewster. £8/£6, 7pm

SOUND: This month’s Science London event looks at the science of music, hosted by Martin Archer who is, appropriately, both a DJ for Kiss FM and a plasma physicist. The event takes place at the Chapel Bar in Islington. £5, 7.30pm

Saturday 19 May

COMICS: Fans of the genre should check out the Kapow Comic Convention at Islington’s Business Design Centre, which runs today and tomorrow. Guests include Nick Frost, Warren Ellis and Noel Clarke. Comics of the other definition will also be in attendance, in the shape of Frankie Boyle and Jimmy Carr. Prices vary

BRAINS: Catch a series of films about the brain at Wellcome Collection, to coincide with the ongoing brain exhibition. FREE, 3pm

SPACE: The Royal Observatory’s contribution to Museums at Night is to put on an evening devoted to space, with planetarium film screenings and talks by scientists. FREE, 5-8.30pm

Princess Chelsea

Tuesday: noise guitarist EMA is at Scala. Melbourne folk band Husky make their London debut at the Bull and Gate.

Wednesday: psych influenced indie rockers Bear in Heaven are at the Hoxton Bar and Kitchen.

New York’s disco embassadors Scissor Sisters have a two-night run at Shepherds Bush Empire on Wednesday and Thursday.

Also on Thursday: cynical chanteuse Princess Chelsea is at Water Rats.

Friday: Hauschka, Dustin O’Halloran, and Jóhann Jóhannsson are at the Barbican for an electronic/ambient evening.

Saturday: alt rockers Gringo Star are at Barfly.

What gigs are you going to? Let us know in the comments.

This Week In London’s History

• Monday – 14th May 1842: The first fully illustrated weekly newspaper, the Illustrated London News is launched, costing sixpence. It was still being published weekly as recently as 1971, but its publication frequency has since declined.
• Tuesday – 15th May 1981: Zara Phillips, the daughter of Princess Anne and Captain Mark Phillips, is born in a private wing of St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington. She would become a very successful equestrian, and is currently 14th in line to the throne.
• Wednesday – 16th May 1968: A gas explosion causes the collapse of an entire corner of a newly constructed high-rise block of flats in Newham, East London, killing five residents. Unsurprisingly the flats are later deemed to be ‘structurally unsound’.
• Thursday – 17th May 1984: Prince Charles denounces an early proposed design of an extension to the National Gallery building on Trafalgar Square as “a monstrous carbuncle on the face of a much-loved and elegant friend”.
• Friday – 18th May 1593: A warrant is issued for the arrest of Christopher Marlowe following allegations of heresy. Less than two weeks later, he was murdered in Deptford, South East London.

Random London Quote Of The Week

London is a modern Babylon.

Benjamin Disraeli, Tancred

Picture by Tyla’75 via the Londonist Flickr Pool.

• The lecture line-up for Hackney Academy has been announced: Plan B, Leona Lewis, Labrinth, Lethal B and Rizzle Kicks.
• The ceiling at relatively new Shepherds Bush Tube Station needs repairing. Already.
• BMW has unveiled its range of Olympic-mobiles, to be used by general staff and medics.
• Protest news 1: anti-Boris Island protest at City Hall on Friday.
• Protest news 2: Occupy at the Bank of England yesterday: 11 arrested.
• Sir Michael Caine gets the Freedom of Southwark. Quite right too.
• Richmond police investigate the mystery of the fake election leaflets.

London colours, by aka Jon Spence from the ever colourful Londonist Flickr pool.

The quiz is themed around the River Thames, with 50 questions on everything from its geography to its pageantry. You can sign up individually (£5.50), or as part of a team of four (£16). This also gets you entry to the Museum’s Friday Night Social, a free beer tasting, and a talk from beer writer Peter Haydon.

Londonist’s Liquid History pub quiz in the Sammy Ofer Wing of the National Maritime Museum, Greenwich. Starts 7.30pm.

Tooting High Street

Monday: Visit the Tooting Transition Shop, which is “exchanging memories, ideas, images, questions and experiences about the joys and challenges of living now”. That is, if you can find it…. (free).

Tuesday: Vintage store Beyond Retro are celebrating “10 years of sartorial heaven” at their newly spruced-up Cheshire St (off Brick Lane) location with a night of live music and fashion so bad it’s good (free).

Wednesday: An evening of UK jazz at Ray’s in Foyles, Charing Cross Road, with Zhenya Strigalev and Liam Noble performing to promote the former’s new album (free).

Thursday: Will the UK and Argentina ever move beyond their Falklands farrago? The London School of Economics hosts a debate tonight with Alicia Castro, Argentine ambassador to Britain, John Hughes, former UK ambassador to Argentina, and professor of Latin American contemporary politics George Philip discussing the ways forward (free).

Friday: The Free Word Lecture Theatre in Farringdon Road is hosting a debate on the politics of Olympic Architecture (£5)

Saturday:  It’s Museums at Night all weekend — a chance to explore the capital’s museums, galleries and collections under the cover of night (free)

Sunday: Visit the newly-reopened Photographer’s Gallery.

Check out our things to do in London for free page for more.

Photo / Vganarchis

Every week we select a photo from the Londonist Flickr pool, taken in the last seven days, that illustrates this season or time of year in London.

This week, Paul Steptoe Riley has captured an unlikely couple passing in the sunshine on Wardour Street.

Where to find funny this week

Sunday: Likeable puppy Spencer Brown is on at the 99 Club in Leicester Square tonight, alongside Mowten and Ed Gamble (8pm, £10 online, more expensive on the door).

Monday: If you time it right, or are prepared to sneak out a bit early (note of warning: the Lounge at Leicester Square Theatre is very small) you could see both these shows tonight. Edward Aczel is roadtesting new material downstairs at 7pm (£7 / £5) and then from 8pm upstairs, Richard Herring‘s guest for his latest podcast recording is Jonathan Ross (£12.50).

Tuesday: These days we’re more used to seeing Ed Byrne (pictured) in massive theatres, so it’s a treat to find him headlining So Comedy at the Soho Theatre. Also on the bill are Patrick Monahan, Shirley & Shirley and Mark Nelson (7.30pm, £15 / £12.50).

Wednesday: Comedy Gold at the Old Queen’s Head has two very strong comics confirmed – Tony Law and Joe Lycett – plus a special guest who they’re not naming on the website, but they’ve told us it’s Phill Jupitus (7.30pm, £8).

Thursday: One of our favourite poets, Liz Bentley, and one of our favourite improvers, Cariad Lloyd, are two of the Femmes by the Thames at Battersea Barge (8pm, £5). Joining them are Tiffany Stevenson, Holly Burn, Susan Harrison and music from Mary Leay.

Friday: Alfie Moore used to be a policeman before moving into telling jokes about it. At Finchley’s artsdepot he’ll be talking about riot and protest (8pm, £16).

Saturday: Another double at the Leicester Square Theatre, this time both in the same room. The wonderful, the brilliant, the surreal Simon Munnery is experimenting with a small camera and a big screen at 7pm (£8) followed by Gemma Arrowsmith at 9pm (£7 / £5), saving the earth through character and sketch comedy.

Book ahead: A couple of big names to snap up tickets for: Alan Davies previews his Life is Pain show at the Pleasance (21/22/24 June, 6pm, £12.50) before going to Edinburgh, and Harry Hill is testing out new material at the 100 Club on 3 and 4 July (7.30pm, £12).

Tip us off to friendly, intelligent, alternative comedy around town tips@londonist.com

• World record broken for the longest-ever journey by black cab…it even went south of the river.
• The Met police have spent £9 million in six years on compensation claims.
• Bidding is open for the licence to run a local TV channel for London…hmm, tempting. Wonder if they’ll accept our offer of £3.50, a crumpled wall map and a knitted Boris Johnson.
• Greenwich — sorry, the Royal Borough of Greenwich — will host the UK’s biggest street party for the Jubilee.
• Kids in Hackney wait an average 33 months for adoption, another, if less enviable, ‘biggest in the UK’.
• After the Games, there’s no getting into most of the Olympic Park till Easter 2014.
• We’re off to the pub. It’s not news. But we thought we’d share. Have a happy weekend.

Are we saying Nathan Dean Williams is a walking hard-on? We are not saying Nathan Dean Williams is a walking hard-on. But his stage show, The Buffet — which sees him take to the stage in six guises, each delivering a black-as-treacle comic monologue — does take a while to warm up.

Now, The Buffet is not a laugh-a-minute show. Instead, the six characters — a sad clown, a feeder’s housewife, a kidnapped rabbit, a henpecked husband, a serial pet lover and a doomed teacher — are reliant on some very sharp, dark writing and a solid delivery from Williams himself. It’s all a bit League of Gentlemen by way of Alan Bennett, and by the end of the show it really works.

It’s just that slow start [please refer back to the erection analogy]. Going in cold [no longer an erection analogy], the audience is confronted by a freelance clown with a shonky Welsh accent. Some people got it — so much so that we legitimately thought a guffawing audience member might be a stooge — but at first it felt a little too ‘actor doing some acting’ than ‘dark comic doing jokes’. At some point — precisely, for reference, the moment Williams’ took to the stage dressed as a sex pest version of Velma from Scooby Doo — it clicked. We got it. It was brilliant. He ‘grew’. If you’re planning a visit, expect slow, dark pacing, and the impulse to stand proud and applaud by the end.

Nathan Dean Williams can be seen at Soho Theatre 11-12 May. Tickets here.

The left-leaning parties (Labour, Liberal Democrats, Greens), who hold 16 of the Assembly’s 25 seats, have brokered a deal to “share power in the operation of the Assembly” (see PDF of the document obtained by Mayorwatch). It says there are “a number of positions for the Conservative Group” but perhaps they had looking after the sandwiches in mind, since of the roles that have been allocated so far, Roger Evans is the only Tory Assembly Member to get one: Deputy Chair of the Audit Panel.

Of course, Conservative AMs Kit Malthouse, James Cleverly and Victoria Borwick have been the lucky recipients of top appointments from Boris, but that hasn’t stopped them complaining bitterly:

For anyone still interested, Jennette Arnold (Labour) is Assembly Chair for another year with Darren Johnson (Green) her Deputy. We’ll be back at Mayor’s Question Time in a couple of weeks and will report whether it continues to be as bad tempered as it was pre-election.

Photo of the London Assembly Conservatives from the GLA Conservatives Twitter account