Opinion

Thoughts On Having Sat Through The Mayoral Election Videos

Rachel Holdsworth
By Rachel Holdsworth Last edited 18 months ago
Thoughts On Having Sat Through The Mayoral Election Videos

You can tell it's election season: everyone's got their party broadcasts ready. We've watched them all so you don't have to. (Though you can if you want.)

Greens

0.05: Whoever the Green Party has coming up with ideas for its videos needs a raise. For last year's general election they made a boyband, and now they've made kids pretend to do PMQs. This is genius.

0.16: This kid has better hair than Boris.

0.40: Nice work getting in a reference to Sadiq Khan being 'hostile' to Jeremy Corbyn, there.

0.45: Genuine 'aw' for the Jeremy Corbyn kid.

0.55: GET A BETTER SUIT, JEZ.

1.05: Genuinely had to look up whether it's Tim Fallon or Farron. (It's Farron.)

1.45: We bet Theresa May does throw cuddly toys around after having to deal with all the bickering in cabinet.

2.07: Ahahaha, Liz Kendall literally loves fracking.

2.24: Oh. Actual policies. Bit bored now tbh.

3.40: Hang on, where the hell was Sian Berry?

Labour

0.02: What's with the stock music? Did they pull this off YouTube's copyright-free database?

0.22: Grew up on a council estate klaxon.

0.34: Sadiq has a real plan to fix the housing crisis. Not one of your fake plans.

0.45: Dad was a bus driver klaxon.

0.48: Sadiq doesn't sit at the front of the top deck. That's just weird in our view.

1.18: Is Sadiq ever getting off this bus? Will City Hall become a roving administration?

1.30: Sadiq now has a real plan to tackle extremism. Again, none of your fake plans.

2.00: Seriously, he's still on the bus.

2.15: HE'S GETTING OFF THE BUS.

2.25: Why is he walking in slow motion? Is that why he spent so long on the bus, because walking anywhere takes ages?

Conservatives

0.02: More bland backing music. Can't anyone afford something a bit more interesting?

0.13: "Boris Johnson has put London back on the map." When did we fall off the map?

0.25: Zac sounds very impressed that we make 24m journeys every day, doesn't he?

0.33: Zac also walks in slight slow motion. What's going on?

0.37: Zac looks deeply uncomfortable being filmed doing this.

0.44: Plan klaxon.

0.54: Disappointed to see the real Theresa May not throwing stuffed animals around.

1.04: What's that yellow thing that whizzes through the field?

1.15: Having David Cameron in the video is probably not the boon it seemed last week.

1.32: Doesn't the river look lovely?

1.45: Hang on, why is Boris doing a speech to camera? Why has Zac been talking to us in voiceover?

1.55: Boris looks like he's been given very strict instructions to be sensible, not go off script and don't dick about.

2.05: Never noticed how small Boris Johnson's eyes are before.

2.18: They just spent over 30 seconds getting Boris Johnson to talk at us instead of the guy who's actually standing.

2.26: Finally! Hello Zac, nice to hear from you.

2.35: Zac's a bit smirky, isn't he? Maybe that's why he didn't get much to-camera time.

Liberal Democrats

Caroline Pidgeon's Election Broadcast

You saw it here first! Caroline has just released her Election Broadcast a day before it's on TV.

Posted by London Liberal Democrats on Wednesday, 6 April 2016

0.01: We're already on first name terms.

0.10: That coat's quite bright.

0.12: First sighting of high-vis in these videos. Which is surprising. We all know politicians love a bit of high-vis.

0.36: £515,000 for a two bedroom flat in Drayton Park, there.

0.53: Some real Londoners, chatting. Apparently.

1.02: This guy doesn't sound scripted at all.

1.18: Fair play though, you didn't get the boys shooting the breeze with other people this much and we're only halfway through.

1.40: New word needed for a kid who 'photobombs' an election broadcast, please.

1.50: That guy's wearing a yellow tie. Hmm.

2.05: Everyone has plans. Isn't the most basic thing we expect of a candidate?

2.38: Hang on, this guy looks familiar. *Googles* Ah, that's because he's a Lib Dem candidate for the London Assembly. We'd hope you are supporting Caroline, mate. You could be in trouble otherwise.

3.07: This lady is making us feel like we're being told off.

UKIP

0.03: Traditional British icon klaxon.

0.11: Didn't take long for UKIP to start on about overcrowding, did it?

0.50: There are many factors behind London's problems. But we're only going to talk about one of them in this advert.

0.59: This really is aimed at outer London, isn't it?

1.37: Not a leading question in any way.

1.44: £800 a month for a two bedroom flat? We know people who dream of £800 a month for a two bedroom flat.

1.55: Here we go, here's Nigel.

2.00: And it's all UKIP will talk about.

2.14: Nigel is daring you to tell the truth with your vote.

2.25: Vote UKIP for a party with only one policy.

Last Updated 13 April 2016