Things To Do In London This Weekend: 13-14 February 2016

All weekend

Canine cuisine at MicroChippy (see below).

STREET ART: London's East End has associations with a rich mix of historical figures. Join your knowledgeable guide on this walking tour filled with stories of the diverse area, from its criminal past to its vibrant present, and enjoy street art by the likes of Banksy. £12, prebook, 11am

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MINI VAULT FESTIVAL: A whole weekend of family-friendly fun in the secret vaults under Waterloo Station. There's comedy aplenty, including cowboy caper A Pony For Your Thoughts, plus an appearance from poet Roger McGough. Various prices, prebook, 10am

ONE FESTIVAL 2016: Head to The Space for the fourth, One Festival — a vibrant collection of monologues from some of London's best writing, directing and acting talent. Catch inventive, accessible and ambitious performances all weekend. £10-£14, prebook, various times

MICROCHIPPY: Dogs and their owners can eat together in Clerkenwell's MicroChippy in aid of Dogs Trust. Treat your pooch (and yourself) to a tasty menu from Bubbledogs, who've also developed some special canine cuisine. It's a pup-friendly set up with bean bags and bowls in a 1950s-style diner. £12 (dogs go free), prebook, various times.

PLAY THE GAME: Be part of the game at this psychological theatre show, blurring performance and reality. Illusionist Philipp Oberlohr leads you on a journey in Das Spiel, reading your mind and reaching into your past. Part of the Vault Festival under Waterloo station. £12, prebook, 4.30pm (Sunday), 7.15pm (Saturday/Sunday)

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GET ARTY: SEE16 Arts Festival is on for the whole weekend, highlighting all that's creative about SE16. Get stuck into over 20 theatre, music, art events — loads of them are free. Ones to watch are Docklands Settlements Dance Festival, English Touring Opera and Old Vic, New Voices. See website for details of individual events, until 14 February

Saturday 13 February

Fancy some yoga at the top of this London landmark? Image: Gareth Evans

SHARD YOGA: Is this the highest yoga class in the world? If you like your exercise with altitude, join teachers, Leo and Mandy, for yoga at the top of the Shard. Get stuck into an easy-to-follow class with 360 degree views across the city for almost 40 miles. That's a lot of London with your relaxation. £40, prebook, 8.30am

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KIDS GO FREE TO WESTMINSTER ABBEY: Take advantage of a special half-term offer and bring the kids to see Westminster Abbey, for free. With every adult ticket (£20), up to three children can enter for nowt. There's a children's trail to follow, and special kids offers in the Cellarium Cafe. Free (with one adult ticket), prebook, 9.30am-1pm

PERFUME MAKING: Craft your own signature scent or make a personalised present with this class from Naz. You'll learn to concoct perfume oil, solid perfume and spray — all which you get to take home. Discover a history of perfume, how notes and tones make up a scent and get hands on with blending your individual fragrance. £29, prebook, 10am-12pm

SOUTHBANK STORIES: Professional tale teller, Vanessa Woolf, heads to Southbank and invites you to jump aboard her Giant Storytelling Bed and hear yarns of the weird and wonderful. Part of the Imagine Children's Festival. £5, prebook, 10.30am-3.30pm (three sessions per day)

TREASURE AT TATE: Join an adult treasure hunt at Tate Britain as you take a maze through the art masters to see how they each depict love in their work. Grab a team of two to four people and take a cheeky romp through the gallery. £15-£38, prebook, 2pm

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WHO TALK: Join original allies of The Who, Richard (Barney) Barnes and Peter (Dougal) Butler as they talk all things Who, in Wembley. From looking after Keith Moon, to thinking up the band's name, the guys who were there from the start answer your questions. £22, prebook, 3.30pm

COMEDY: This is an astonishing line-up, from Knock2Bag at Rich Mix: Tim Key, Kevin Eldon, Rachel Parris, Yuriko Kotani, Naz Osmanoglu and more. £10/£14, prebook, 7pm

POP UP PAINTING: For a Valentine's special edition of this popular experience, grab your free prosecco and brush — and learn how to paint Botticelli's The Birth Of Venus. Either follow the tips from your on-hand art facilitator, or freestyle with your own touches. All art supplies included. £39.99, prebook, 7.30pm

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MASKED BALL: The Bootleg Club invites you to conceal your true identity at its Masked Valentine's Ball. The historic Stationers Hall hosts an evening of music from Blue Harlem Swing Band and food from Smokestak. Dress vintage and prepare to unleash your inner Gatsby. £30, prebook, 8pm

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MADAME TUSSAUDS: Don't mind Posh and Becks gatecrashing your romantic Valentine's night? Enjoy a three-course meal, drinks, canapés and entertainment at Madame Tussauds's pop up restaurant. Start the evening with a Hollywood-style drinks reception and meet some of the museum's most famous couples. £150 (for two), prebook, 8pm

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Sunday 14 February

Sample fresh cinnamon buns at a Nordish Brunch. Image: Knesje

FILM CLUB: Kick back at this lunchtime screening of cult classic, Poetic Justice, starring Tupac and Janet Jackson, at The Orange Soda Film Club, Brixton. Start the afternoon with music from DJ Skillit and take advantage of complimentary popcorn, ice cream and drinks. £10, prebook, 12pm

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SEVEN NOSES OF SOHO: Legend has it that if you see the seven noses of Soho, you'll have infinite wealth. Be prepared to get rich after this walking tour with Pete Berthoud, as you discover all seven hooters (and a bonus ear too). Stroll in the footsteps of the area's famous residents, from Mozart to Hendrix, and take in a few pubs. £20, prebook, 1pm

TAKE A CRUISE: It's all aboard the love boat on the Battersea Barge. Sail past London's landmarks while enjoying entertainment and live music from the on-board crew. The two-deck ship features a bar and restaurant, so there's no need to take shore leave for refreshments. £7-£15, prebook, 12pm/6pm

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NORDISH BRUNCH: Bring your love of food to this Nordish Brunch with Martina and Magdalena and feast on open sandwiches and fresh cinnamon buns with teas and coffee. Get to know new people in this warm, informal atmosphere over tasty food. £17, prebook, 12.30pm

LION KING: Get the family to The Phoenix Artist Club for this screening of The Lion King, complete with a box of treats. Sob and sing-along with Simba in the animated Disney classic. All together now: "I just can't wait to be king". £10, prebook, 2pm

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PLAY AWAY: An afternoon choc-full of playwriting talent, this is Hidden Vice. Balham's Theatre N16 presents 15 short plays from some of London's best new talents. £8, prebook, 2.15pm (first play start time)

MEXICAN COOKING CLASS:  Learn to whip up a street food feast with this complete Mexican cookery class. Make fresh corn tortillas, salsas, dips, fajitas, ceviche, quesadillas and black bean dishes. You'll also get tips on how to cook with tequila while learning knife skills (it's safe, we promise). All ingredients are provided so just bring yourself and your spicy side. £75, prebook, 6pm

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CINEMA PARADISO: Stanley's Film Club presents Cinema Paradiso, the Academy Award-winning Italian classic. Top off your vintage movie experience with gramophone music, Italian street food, themed cocktails and sweet treats in the beautiful Stanley Halls. £10, prebook, 5pm

CHIC BONBONS CABARET: Put a cheeky twist of the day of romance, and be amazed by Chic Bonbons's energetic burlesque performance. This is 1920s-style glamour in an underground Hoxton hangout, with touches both naughty and nice. £15, prebook, 8pm

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