Valentine's Day: if you don't laugh at the whole premise, you'll probably vomit hard into your lap. Thank gawd then, that this Season of Schmaltz there's a bevvy of comedians on the London circuit happy to deride anything faintly lovey-dovey. In particular, two venues are tussling with the thorny issue of love. Here's where to find out whether your date has a sense of humour.
Shambles: Love and Laughter Festival, Aces and Eights 14-19 February
This is the biggie: six juicy days of brand new comedy about the L-word, romance and relationships, at the small but perfectly formed Aces and Eights in Tufnell Park. Here's a selection of highlights:
Circuit stalwart Trevor Lock initiates the comedic foreplay with Does Anyone Know What “I Love You” Means? On 15 February everyone's favourite stars of Ipswich's audio scene, Bearpit Podcast Valentines Special, perform a show all about love and dating; expect to be joined by the likes of agony aunt Melinda Prunes, sex guru Kristian Manjazz and relationship therapist Helen Flanjax.
The steamiest show on 16 February promises to be Beth Vyse and Nathan Dean Williams joining forces for Mucky Women, an evening of filth, funnies, sadness, stupidity and romance.
And, playing the role of post-coital cigarette in the Love and Laughter Festival is Vignettes d’ amour — a collection of brand new 20 minute sets about love and relationships performed by the likes of John Kearns, Luke McQueen and Harry Deansway.
At Aces and Eights from 14-19 February. Ticket prices vary
The Sexy Valentines Show, The Invisible Dot, 13 February
Listen very carefully, The Invisible Dot will do this show only once. Some of the most titillating, sensuous and flirtatious acts in London are on at this ever-excellent King's Cross venue on 13 February. That means droll romantic David Elms, Lolly Adefope’s wacky characters, 'TV heartthrob' Diane Morgan (that's Philomena Cunk to you and us), and others yet to be announced. If that wasn't enough to work you into a frenzy, there's a special prosecco-and-two-tickets-deal. Hubba hubba.
Do you know of any other special Valentine's laugh-ins? Let us know in the comments.