A figure calling himself the Holly Man, draped from head to toe in greenery, floats down the Thames before characters including the Turkey Sniper, the Doctor, Clever Legs and the Old 'Oss perform a 'freestyle folk combat play'. No, this isn't the latest series of The Mighty Boosh, but the Bankside Twelfth Night festivities taking place outside the Globe Theatre this Sunday.
There's some contention over whether Twelfth Night is on 5 or 6 January, but The Lions part — a troupe of actors and musicians with an Olde English bent — are defying all convention by holding their wacky celebration on 4 January.
Following the Holly Man's display of wassailing, and "wild verse and boisterous action" courtesy of a group named The Mummers, Bankside crowds are introduced to King Bean and Queen Pea, who dish out cakes. Find the one with a bean or a pea baked inside, and you'll become honorary royalty for the rest of the day.
As all decent parties are liable to do, Bankside Twelfth Night then moves down the pub — namely The George Inn, Borough — where you'll be regaled with further storytelling, dancing, something called the Kissing Wishing Tree mulled wine and mince pies (on the off-chance you haven't already had your fill of wine and pastry recently).
Bankside Twelfth Night starts at 2.30pm and is free to attend.
For those looking to say cheerio to the festive season north of the river, The Geffrye is hosting a Farewell to Christmas on 6 January. There's holly and ivy burning, carol singing, stories about Epiphany, and mulled wine and Twelfth Night cake (on the off-chance... etc). Festivities unfurl in the museum's garden between 3.30pm and 5pm.