Five London Restaurants Launching Shortly… Possibly

The Big Plate Café, Brockley Rise by Emily Webber in the Londonist Flickr pool.

As dedicated followers of London’s food and drink fashions, we reckon we’re pretty well-placed to predict what’s next on the capital’s restaurant and bar scene. We weren’t spot-on with all our bar predictions last year, but that’s not going to stop us giving it another tongue-in-cheek go this time around. Here are five restaurants that might be coming to a street near you soon:

The Anti-Social Eating House

A tube journey was the inspiration for this forthcoming eatery from James Anderson, who formerly worked with Gordon Ramsay but chooses not to talk to or about him anymore. “I don’t know why restaurants always try to be so social, when to me it’s clear that Londoners don’t really like talking to each other all that much,” he explained to us. The Anti-Social Eating House will only cater for tables for one, and chairs will be carefully positioned to avoid eye-contact. There will also be an app made, so that diners can order on their phones without having to make conversation with a waiter. The wine list promises to be especially well-priced, as Anderson has noted that “one thing Londoners like more than not talking is getting really drunk”.

Big Plates

Dreamed up by a group of hungry friends keen to take on the current trend for small plate eateries, this simply-titled new venture coming soon to Shoreditch will offer all dishes on plates of at least 14 inches in diameter. In order to accommodate those diners who are so used to small plates that they are unable to stick to just one dish and not share, guests will all be given extra forks which they can use to help themselves to others’ dishes. Diners can pay £10 extra for an extendable, long-reach fork.

Catalogue

Based around the concept of maximising choice for diners, Catalogue will open at some point, somewhere in Marylebone. It’s the idea of restaurateur Richard Goss, who has become increasingly irked by the lack of choice at restaurants such as polenta-only La Polenteria, newly announced salmon restaurant Salmontini, burger bars and tasting-menu-only spots such as Fera. R. Goss (as he likes to be known), explains how diners will be given several-hundred page catalogues of dishes on arrival rather than a more traditional menu. “It’s similar to what Chinese restaurants have been doing for years, but I think we’re taking it a new level,” he tells us. To maximise efficiency, diners will queue up to give dish numbers to waiters rather than have their orders taken at the table, and then queue up again to collect the dishes when their numbers are called. There will be the option of pre-selecting dishes when booking online for extra-speedy service.

The Pair Line

In a bid to stop the continued decrease in numbers on the Emirates Air Line, TfL will this year (probably) move into the restaurant business. Transforming the cable car pods into mini, elevated private dining rooms, they will serve regularly changing menus each based around two key ingredients. The move is inspired by the likes of Burger & Lobster, Mark Hix’s chicken or steak restaurant Hixter, and Steak and King crab spot Beast, all of which are proving popular with Londoners, unlike the Air Line.

Sre Grub

Due to open in Soho in the not-so-distant imaginary future, Sre Grub is a brand new dining concept that is set to breathe new life into the now omnipresent burger. Or so the press release informs us. “Our dishes subvert the norm by taking the meat patty out of the middle of the burger and placing two of them on the outside of the burger instead,” chef Honest Byron tells us. “This way the single bun slice will become a sort of moist-maker”. He also points out that since only half the amount of bun is used, Sre Grub is a natural choice of eatery for those on low-carb diets or with gluten intolerances.

What other restaurants can you imagine opening in London soon? Serious or not, we’d like to hear your suggestions. Let us know in the comments below.

Image The Big Plate Café, Brockley Rise SE4 by Emily Webber from the Londonist Flickr Pool

For more made-up fun try these events we hope come to London at some point.

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  • http://londonist.com/ Lindsey Clarke

    This is excellent.

  • HHGeek

    Make the Anti-Social locatable only via Google maps on a phone, rather than by using a real A-Z or even knowing street names, and you’re onto a winner.

  • https://soundcloud.com/inhead-kay/ Kay

    The Pair Line is genius. And you know what, I think it can actually really work.

  • kab
  • http://redscharlach.tumblr.com/ RedScharlach

    How about a niche catering for poverty-stricken hipsters: the boasting menu? It’s like a tasting menu but cheaper, because you’re not allowed to actually eat the dishes: you just Instagram them quickly before they get carried to other people’s tables. It means you can show off on social media about what a trend-setting foodie you are, and still have cash left to go to the chippy on your way home.

    • Shadow

      No such thing as a poverty stricken hipster, surely the bank of mummy and daddy comes to the rescue when times get a tiny bit hard.

  • FJP