The Lewd Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes

Image by M@.

Image by M@.

Arthur Conan Doyle’s great detective really was a filthy bastard. The evidence is elementary:

“She suddenly heard an ejaculation or cry, and was struck cold to see her husband looking down at her.” (The Man With The Twisted Lip)

“She pulled a little handkerchief out of her muff.” (A Case of Identity)

“He never lost his grip; but he got it butt downward for a moment too long. Maybe it was I that pulled the trigger. Maybe we just jolted it off between us. Anyhow, he got both barrels in the face.” (The Valley of Fear)

“You observe that the part struck was that which would be turned towards the hole in the ceiling if the man were erect in his chair.” (The Sign of Four)

“The ejaculation had been drawn from my companion by the fact that our door had been suddenly dashed open, and that a huge man had framed himself in the aperture.” (The Adventure of the Speckled Band)

“I found out where he was through a sailor man that had met him in London, and down I went to squeeze him.” (The Adventure of Black Peter)

“So he sat as I dropped off to sleep, and so he sat when a sudden ejaculation caused me to wake up.” (The Man With The Twisted Lip)

“I was unable to stand erect, when my eye caught something which brought a gush of hope back to my heart.” (The Adventure of the Engineer’s Thumb)

“A gash seemed to open and a hand appeared, a white, almost womanly hand, which felt about in the centre” (The Red Headed League)

“…our client had sprung from his seat and stood very erect, with his eyes cast down and his hand thrust into the breast” (The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor)

“So you came over, the two of you, and hunted up the girl.” (The Adventure of the Solitary Cyclist)

“The busts! You never can get those busts out of your head.” (The Adventure of the Six Napoleons)

“Finally, he sprang down with an ejaculation of satisfaction.” (The Adventure of the Abbey Grange)

“Finally he thrust the sharp point home, pressed down the tiny piston, and sank back into the velvet-lined arm-chair with a long sigh of satisfaction.” (The Sign of Four)

See also: Lewd Dickens.

 

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