Valentine’s Day In London: The Sopometer

There are untold numbers of Valentine’s events happening round London. We don’t have the heart to list out every last ‘special menu’ or romantic screening on offer. Instead, we’ve put together some of the more unusual Valentine’s happenings, and ranked them according to the Badly Drawn Londonist Sopometer Of Dewey Eyed Love-Gush (don’t worry, it’s wipe-clean).

sopometerfinalIce Skating at Alexandra Palace

For the ultimate in romance, go ice-skating hand in hand with your significant other in the shadow of Ally Pally. Enchanting lighting included, but we’ll leave you to imagine the Barry White soundtrack. 14 February, £18 per couple, pre-book, various times

Feline Lonely

We’ll forgive Battersea Cats Home the terrible pun, as the Feline Lonely event is for a good cause. It aims to unite prospective owners with pets in need of a home and some love. Cat enclosures will display lonely hearts ads (heartwrenching stuff), and canapés and champagne will be in circulation for the humans. The cat cuddle booths (yes, really) may be a step too far though. Nobody utter the words “crazy cat lady”. 14 February, 5.30pm, free but donations welcome, just turn up

Literary Love: Emma

This interactive theatre dating event is based on Jane Austen’s novel Emma, with the character herself leading the audience (couples and singles welcome) through a series of games and activities to help them find their perfect match. Takes place at Drink Shop Do on 12 February at 6.30pm (£12/£10)  and Leicester Square Theatre  on 13 February at 9pm(£10)

Vauxhall Village Tunnel Of Love

Not a cheesy car advert, but a cinema night in the Vauxhall Railway Arch. Admittedly, this doesn’t sound like the stuff dreams are made of, but snuggle down under a blanket with your date watching a film such as Romeo and Juliet, and the sop starts to sneak in. 13-16 February, £7.50+bf, prebook, various times

Flirt Like a Bond Girl

Learn to channel your inner Pussy Galore or Honey Ryder and bag yourself a Valentine’s date with this lesson in How To Flirt Like a Bond Girl. February 12, 7pm, £25, prebook

Childhood With Cocktails

Imagine a kid’s birthday party — Twister, pass the parcel, the works — but invite adults instead and throw alcohol into the mix. That’s what’s happening at Apples and Pears in Brick Lane. Even better, £1 of each ticket goes to local charity SANE. Not one for those in love, but not one for resolute cupid assassins either, and we like it. 14 February, 7pm. £3 upwards, prebook

Late London: City of Seduction

Museum of London‘s late night has a Valentine’s theme, looking back at the saucy past of London. Mix absinthe tasting with life drawing, learn about dancing rituals past, and the make-up of prostitutes.  £10/£15, prebook, 14 February, 7pm

Anti Valentine’s Party at Bounce

Bounce Ping Pong holds an anti-Valentine’s party for London’s singles, and it means business. Among the lengthy list of forbidden things are pet names, flowers, winking and, er, the colour red. Get involved in the various tournaments, including UV ping pong. £5, prebook, 6pm

Valentine’s Day Massacre

‘Bloody Love’ is the theme of this anti-Valentine’s bash at Hello Monty’s. Guests are asked to dress ‘dangerous and sexy’ and party like it’s 1929 at this Chicago gangster themed gathering. 14 February, 7.30pm, prebook, £22 (psst, discounted tickets for £15+bf selling here)

Speed Hating

This event at The Phoenix in Cavendish Square has a similar set-up to speed dating, but prospective couples bond by ranting about things they can’t stand. Then, once everyone’s fired up and feeling hateful, they bring in the Blind Hate round — think Cilla Black on a bad day. In case you hadn’t guessed, it’s a spin-off from the Feeling Gloomy Club. 12 February, 7.30pm. £10+bf, prebook

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Laura

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