Things To Do In London Today: Tuesday 3 December 2013

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Performance art piece at ICA tonight, details below. Image courtesy of Daniel Szwed and Konrad Smoleński

Performance art piece at ICA tonight, details below. Image courtesy of Daniel Szwed and Konrad Smoleński

Listings

BLOOD: Today’s opportunities to donate blood are outside County Hall on Belvedere Road, Lambeth Town Hall and Britannia International Hotel in Canary Wharf. Free, see site for terms and conditions

CHEESE: Yum. Cheese. Apertivo Hour is an Italian tradition of having a light bite with a drink before dinner. Cheese is often on the menu and for the next few days bars and restaurants around London are offering you the chance to enjoy some Grana Padano alongside your pre-dinner drink. See here for more details (and for the chance to win a hamper full of Grana Padano goodies). Until 5 December

LANDGRABBERS: The world’s richest countries, individuals and corporations are buying up foreign fields around the world. Journalist Fred Pearce speaks at City Lit about the winners and victims of such schemes. £13.37, prebook, 6pm

ARTS: Institute of Contemporary Arts screens a feature film on the city of Macao (£7-£10, prebook, 6.30pm) and hosts a performance art piece by two-man art group BNNT (£5-£8, prebook, 9pm).

LETTER WRITING: Simon Garfield (Just My Type, To the Letter) and Shaun Usher (Letters of Note) discuss letter writing at Keats House. Tickets from Daunt Books Hampstead £5, prebook, 7pm

POP QUIZ: Maths? Pah. Science? PAH! Politics? Please, no. Test your knowledge of all things Pop at the Queen of Hoxton. £3/£2, just turn up, 7pm

CRAP FILM: First there was Troll. Then there was Troll 2. And then there was … oh wait, nothing, as Troll 2 was so abysmally crap that there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of a third instalment (there aren’t even any trolls in it). Watch it at The Book Club alongside a documentary that looks at the worst films ever made. £5/£3, prebook, 7-11pm

SHORT FILMS: An evening of short film screenings focuses on gender, at The Ritzy in Brixton courtesy of Short Sighted Cinema. Free, just turn up, 7.30pm

CHANEL: Justine Picardie talks about Coco Chanel at West End Lane Books. Free, prebook, 7.30pm

COMEDY: We all love Miles Jupp, right? In Balamory, Rev or various panel shows, he’s got the right balance of young fogey and razor sharp wit. See his work in progress show at Invisible Dot. £8, prebook, 7.30pm

MUSICAL COMEDYMitch Benn and the Distractions’ musical comedy club puts on a Christmas extravaganza at The Phoenix. More tickets are being released but don’t dawdle: this line up of Bec Hill, Jay Foreman, Jonny & the Baptists, Josie Lawrence, Arthur Smith, Steve Pretty, Marcel Lucont and tons more will sell out. £8.25, prebook, 8.15pm

AMUSANTE: The International Comedy Club arrives at the Comedy Café Theatre in Shoreditch, to host international comedians performing in their native languages. France is under the spotlight tonight with sets from Yacine Belhousse and Abdelkrim Bichkou. £10, prebook, 8.30pm


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Good Causes of the Day

Homeless charity St Mungo’s puts on fundraising carol concerts around the UK to mark the festive season, and the London instalment is tonight. Held at St Bride’s Church on Fleet Street, there will be singing and readings from St Mungo’s staff, former clients, actress Joanna David and comedian Alexei Sayle. Suggested donation of £30 for the concert and £60 for the concert and drinks reception, prebook, 6.30-8.30pm

London Connection Puzzle

A new puzzle starts today thanks to Neil Paterson, set by last week’s quiz. Your first clue-word is, once again RICHARD HANNAY. Have a think about possible associations, but don’t email in until clue number 2 is revealed tomorrow.

From the Archive

Has London’s skyline been ruined? We pondered this question last year following a less than complimentary comment by architecture critic Rowan Moore. What are your thoughts?

London Weather by Inclement Attlee

Today’s weather is written in Attlee’s dodgy rhyming slang, with translation beneath.

A light Jacques at first, clearing up around Eriksson. Plenty of Girls in the Peckham, with a soft strip from the George. Cool, but no chance of Status.

Translation:

A light Jacques (Rogge = fog) at first, clearing up around Eriksson (Sven  = ten). Plenty of Girls (Aloud = cloud) in the Peckham (Rye = sky), with a soft strip (tease = breeze) from the George (Best = west), but no chance of Status (Quo = snow).

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