Things To Do In London Today: Monday 23 September 2013

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Watch new short films and animations with Bar Shorts

BLOOD: Donate some of the red stuff at the West End Donor Centre, 26 Margaret Street W1, just turn up, 8am-7.30pm

CITIES: Peter Saville, Leo Hollis, George Ferguson and Anne Power talk about how to make cities good places to live, work and play, at the Royal Institution. £12 / £6, prebook, 6.30pm

PRIVATE EYE: The satirical magazine's Ian Hislop and Nick Newman are at the National Theatre discussing the funniest and most influential of Private Eye's cartoons from its 50 year history. £4 / £3, prebook, 5.45pm

STORYTELLING: Natural Born Storytellers tell their tales for Archway With Words festival, at the Archway Tavern. £5, just turn up, 8pm

DONKEYS: It's the final day of Donkeys. In St Paul’s Cathedral, an art exhibition of 25 life-size painted donkeys that have travelled from Cairo in the name of peace and compassion. Free with entry to the Cathedral (usually £16 / £14), just turn up

FOOTBALL: As the original rules of Association Football go on display at the British Library, sports artist Paul Trevillion – creator of the long running You Are The Ref strips – and former head of Premier League referees Keith Hackett, celebrate the quirks and complexities of the game. £7.50 / £5, just turn up, 6.30pm

MASSIVE PLANETS: Did you know that the gas giants like Jupiter have had a profound effect on the evolution of life on Earth? Find out more in a Cafe Scientifique event at the Royal Society. Free, just turn up, 6.30pm

COMEDY: Nick Doody’s headlining Old Rope at the Phoenix pub, a very popular weekly night where lots of comedians test new material. Others firing out recently-written gags include Robin Ince, Rich Hall, Holly Walsh and Rob Deering. £5.50, prebook, 7.30pm

SHORTS: Watch new short films and animations with Bar Shorts at The Book Club in Shoreditch, plus DJ Kung-FU playing between screenings. Free, just turn up, 7pm

CROSS BONES VIGIL: One of London's most celebrated monthly rituals takes place tonight, as the inimitable John Constable leads a vigil for the otherwise forgotten people buried at Cross Bones cemetery in Southwark. All are welcome. Free, just turn up, 7pm

BAFTA: Five times Oscar-nominated screen composer George Fenton is at the Royal Albert Hall talking about his work on shows like Planet Earth and films like Muhammad Ali’s Greatest Fight. £10, prebook, 7pm

SWING: Learn to lindy hop at the Southbank Centre with beginners and intermediate classes from the London Swing Dance Society, plus a live band, DJs and vintage dance cabaret. £12.50 / £11, prebook, 7.30pm

CURIOCITY: Pick up a copy of the latest issue of CurioCity, all about Escaping London, in bookshops from today.

Good Cause of the Day

The Big Lebowski is pretty much everyone's favourite film. Tonight you can re-watch it and help a good cause. The Roxy bar and screen in Borough will show the film at 7.30pm (doors open at 5pm for snacks and drinks), with all proceeds going to Street Child UK. £10. Register for tickets here.

From the Archive

A year ago today, we shared a video that offers a watertight guide to becoming Lord Mayor of London. Two years ago, we discovered a Harrier Jump Jet parked up in suburban south London.

London Connection Puzzle

Congratulations to Alexandra Westcott, who was the first of many readers to guess last week's solution from just the clues CROUCH END and VAUXHALL CROSS. The London connection, of course, is that they are fictional tube stations (Crouch End is in Shaun of the Dead and Vauxhall Cross is in Die Another Day. The third and fourth clues were Museum (Death Line) and Hobbs End (Quatermass). A new puzzle, set by Alexandra, will begin tomorrow.

London Weather by Inclement Attlee

According to the Beeb, we should be waking up to a thick fog this morning. Like a pea-souper of yore, the obfuscating vapours will be of such density that one might be able to swim through them. If you choose to do so, be careful not to agitate yourself to any great height. The fog is due to dissipate mid-morning, and you might tumble back to earth like a clammy Icarus. Bryter Layter.