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NUMEROLOGY: No need to go out today. Simply revel in the fact that the date is 12/12/12. Isn’t that marvellous? A triple run of numbers won’t happen again for almost 90 years, so you can store this one up for the grandkids who will be extremely impressed when you tell them you were there.
TUBE FILM: Passing through Canary Wharf station? Look out for the new short films projected onto one of the walls, which start a fourth season today. Free, just turn up, all day
TICKET ALERT: Tickets to see Kraftwerk at Tate Modern in February go on sale this morning at 7.30am
SHOPPING: Head to Highgate for Christmas shopping night, including live music and free mulled wine and mince pies. Free, just turn up, 10.30am-8.30pm
BEER ACTIVISM: Join a CAMRA-organised rally in Westminster to lobby against rises to beer tax. Free, just turn up, from 11am
BOOKS: Pete Brown, author of Shakespeare’s Local (and one of our books of the year) is signing copies at Waterstones London Wall, and Ian Rankin is signing copies of his latest Rebus novel at Waterstones Leadenhall Market. Free, just turn up, 1pm and 12.30pm respectively.
DEATH: Hear from a mortuary attendant about the ins-and-outs of her unusual job. Christmas cheer from Wellcome Collection. Free, prebook, 3pm
BRAINS: Imperial College gets in on the Christmas Lecture vibe by presenting a demonstration and talk about the brain, aimed at children. Free, prebook, 5pm
MUSIC: A handful of tickets are still available to see The Black Keys at the O2 tonight. £33, prebook, 7pm
COMEDY: Jigsaw are one of our favourite sketch groups, a brilliant combination of silly and frighteningly clever. See them at the Crown Comedy Club in Blackheath, along with Michael Legge, Paul F Taylor, Wouter Meijs, Saban Kazim and Laura Lexx MCing. £7, just turn up, 8pm
GAMERDISCO: It’s a disco, themed around video games, and it’s at the Book Club in Shoreditch tonight. Free, just turn up, 8pm
CHEESE: Over 20 of Borough Market’s cheesemongers will be in the Green Market for sampling, talking about and selling fromages. Free, just turn up, 4-8pm.
Random London Fact Of The Day
The Thames hasn’t frozen in central London since the early 19th Century. A combo of a narrower, embanked river, a slightly milder climate, and the demolition of the old London Bridge and its narrow arches, all make it much less likely that the Thames will ever freeze again. That said, parts upstream have frozen more recently, and as an outside, flagrantly unscientific projection, we reckon a cold winter mixed with lowest tide in February 2013 might bring us close.
You know how yesterday was a bit nippy? Well prepare for Coldzilla, the coldest, most frigid day since records began. And, by ‘coldest day since records began’, we really mean ‘since this stupid, whimsical Londonist weather column started’, which was only a month or two ago. It’s definitely the coldest day since then. Our memory only extends as far as our own content, so we choose to believe that this is the coldest day that the city has ever known. Also, we’re typing this having got back from a Christmas party, which was filled with more wine and cocktails than you could probably imagine. Not to discredit your powers of imagination, but it really was a LOT of booze. Which means our skills at weather forecasting are fatally impaired. You really didn’t sign up to this drunken shit when you subscribed to this email, did you? Sorry. Sorry. We promise to get better. Sorry. Hic.
In summary: Arseburgers, it’s cold.
BBC weather has a less drunken, less verbose take on the skies. Trust them. They never get drunk.
Secret Hidden False Rumour Of The Day
The Guinness Book of Records keeps notes about the quickest time to cross Westminster Bridge. With camera-wielding tourists stopping transpontine walkers at every step, the record time actually stands at 2 minutes 45 seconds. We defy you to cross quicker.