If the festive onslaught of jingle bells and twee jumpers is getting a bit much, you might find nipping to Late Night Gimp Fight at the Soho Theatre a good antidote. As we discovered earlier in the year, you’ll still be able to look Auntie Hilda in the eye over the turkey but there might be an extra glint in yours. The Gimps’ show is a mix of their Edinburgh 2012 sketches and some seasonal specials. If you want a taster, they’ve let us take a peek at their letter to Santa as well as sending us a very unsafe-for-work King’s Cross themed carol.
I understand that right now you’re probably putting together your list of who has been naughty and who has been nice this year and I would just like to make the case for Late Night Gimp Fight before you seal that bad boy up for good.
Point one. None of the Gimps have been found in a cupboard with a belt around their neck, orange in their mouths in an act of self ownership gone wrong.
Point two. None of the Gimps have been arrested for exposing themselves to a member of the Royal Family, either major or minor. Not even to Princess Beatrice.
Point three. None of the Gimps have mysteriously vanished this year. All five members have made it to the end of the year in one piece. An impressive feat considering the large number of Gimp mortalities at this time of year.
Point four. None of the Gimps were found guilty of sending all those Fathers Day cards to the orphanage in Watford.
And finally point five. None of the Gimps are without trousers whilst writing this letter.
All these things add up, I think you’ll agree, to the Gimps having been pretty well behaved this year.
And for that we need to be punished.
Please put us on the naughty list for not having lived up to our basic duties as Gimps to be depraved, filthy and generally horrible to be around.
Get into your crotchless PVC Santa suit we know you keep hidden in the back of the elves’ workshop, fashion a whip out of mistletoe, stick a ball gag in Ruldolph’s mouth and get your arse over here and by Christ we will get 2013 off to a bang.
We’ll even show you where to hide that lump of coal.
Yours oiled up and expectantly,
Late Night Gimp Fight is on at the Soho Theatre, Dean Street, W1, until 5 January. Tickets £15 / £12.50 / £20 New Year’s Eve. For more information see the Soho Theatre website.