Music is right at the centre of the Olympics. Muse, Elbow, Marc Ronson and Katy B, and Chemical Brothers have all written different themes. The opening ceremony shenanigans are even soundtracked by an Underworld megamix.
Unfortunately lots of it is really naff: the Muse song is dreadful and the megamix is embarassingly obvious — London Calling, Firestarter, the Eastenders theme, really?
So in the spirit of compiling teenage mix tapes, we bring you an alternative Spotify soundtrack to The Sport, to help you get through life in London over the next few weeks.
Crystal Fighters — I Love London
To remind us that we like it here despite the frustrations we’ll be feeling very soon.
Gene – Olympian
It came out in the 90s, so surely LOCOG’s brand police couldn’t do anything about the song name, could they?
Gang of Four — At Home He’s a Tourist
Face it, we’re all going to be going at tourist’s waddling pace and double-checking our thumbed A to Zs for alternative routes.
Pulp – Common People
It mentions Greece, it’s awesome, it should be our national anthem, and us common Londoners are banned from the VIP lanes. Nuff said.
Marilyn Manson – The Beautiful People
Look at them with their ripped flexible bodies. Their tanned limbs and perfect BMI – you won’t find them at your local gym. Don’t look too closely at the athletes though. It may be a bit pervy.
Half Man Half Biscuit — Running Order Squabble Fest
How exactly do they sort out which lane they run, swim and row in?
Something Corporate — As You Sleep
If we could hibernate we would, and the running and jumping is something corporate, obvs.
Les Savy Fav — Let’s Get Out Of Here
If we didn’t have jobs it could be tempting.
Imelda May — No Turning Back
It’s here, we can’t get out of it now.
The Vines – Outathaway
A truly all-encompassing anthem. We’ll be singing it on the Tubes and streets, and the more-important-than-us-free-ticket-blaggers will hum it as they cruise down their special lanes.
Beck – Loser
Most people taking part won’t win anything. Don’t be sympathetic, they’re losers so tell them (harsh? Give it a week, any sympathy will soon be worn down after a week of The Sport).
The Wildhearts – TV Tan
Most of us don’t have tickets, even local newspapers have had difficulty getting accredited, so our experience will be glaring at the tellybox.
Lord Kitchener – London Is The Place For Me
Believe it or not, people are choosing of their own free will to come here. This one’s for them. Besides deep down you’re glad it’s here and not Paris.
Shocking Pinks — Girl On The Northern Line
Don’t get blinded by those garish pink signs plastered over the Tubes. You don’t want to knock someone off the platform. Safety first, London.
Rolling Stones — Paint It Black
A good option for the pink signs.
Mansun — Taxloss
To secure the running and jumping, temporary tax haven legislation was brought in for sponsors, although The Guardian reported that McDonalds, GE, Coca Cola and Visa have waived their exemptions
The Finn Brothers — Eyes Of The World
No secret affairs, sickies or nose picking in August, there are TV cameras everywhere and you will be spotted.
Green Day – Welcome To Paradise
It may not seem like it over the next few weeks but The Sport’s here because London’s brilliant. We love it and it’s an unbelievable place to live. Surely we can share a bit of our fortune with outsiders?
Adam Ant – Stand and Deliver
Come on Lord Sebastian you’ve promised it, now deliver the best organised games you can.
Goldfinger – Rio
Here you go it’s your turn now.