Sunday: Daniel Sloss is now old enough to drink in all of America, so it's safe to go see him without the worry you'll come out wanting to travel back in time and garrotte your teenage self for being such a whiny fucking waster. Kai Humphries supports him at the Leicester Square Theatre (7.30pm, £17.50 / £15).
Monday: There's an excellent line-up for Old Rope at the Phoenix: Carl Donnelly headlines, plus Howard Read (as in Little Howard), Rich Hall, Phil Nichol, Sarah Kendall, Benny Boot, Milton Jones and Tiernan Douieb MCs (7.30pm, £5).
Wednesday: This pick might be as controversial as the man himself: Frankie Boyle is trying out new material at the Hen and Chickens (9.30pm; also this Monday and Thursday). Tickets go on sale Monday at 11am for a fiver.
Friday: There are two chances to catch Rufus Hound, Adam Bloom, Andrew Lawrence, Andrew Bird and Gina Yashere at the Comedy Store - 7.30pm for £25 / £20 or 11pm for £20 / £15. More chance of drunk heckling at the later show, which is either a good or bad thing depending on your personal taste.
Saturday: Out and about in Soho, bit irritated by the fact you'll probably have to pay a door fee if you want to drink past 11pm? You might as well combine it with comedy at the Soho Theatre with Sarah Kendall, Tony Law and Adams and Rea - starts at 11.30pm, licensed til 1am (£15 / £12.50).