Kinky Cupcakes @ Cox, Cookies & Cake

Unless you’re particularly into that kind of thing, a new sex shop in Soho isn’t big news. But at Brewer Street’s latest unsavoury* opening, things aren’t what they seem. There’s no stripping, no adult toys, and not even any “massages” - the dark windows and neon lights belie but a host of kinky cakes.

Cox, Cookies & Cake is the lovechild of master-baker Eric Lanlard (aka Cake Boy) and shoe designer come general fashionista, Patrick Cox. Their range of pimped-up, cakey perversions includes a predictably decorated “titty cake”, available in black or white variations for the sake of racial equality; a muscle-clad “beef cake”, which of course contains no meat at all; and a dubious sounding “bum cake”, which we certainly hope contains nothing bum related at all.

Cupcakes and similar such biscuits and bakes range from £2.50 to £4. Although less exciting on the palate than the eyes, they certainly hit the spot.

Staff accessorised in leather and the addition of a peep hole or two further the salacious theme and ensure Cox, Cookies & Cake fits in with its surroundings, but a bit of oral pleasure and the promise of enthusiastic mastication is just about as seedy as it gets.

When you next need a fix, visit Cox, Cookies & Cake at 13 Brewer Street, W1F 0RH.

*cakes aren’t savoury, they’re sweet, you see...