Well, it was always going to happen, wasn’t it? Had the Olympic organisers reanimated Frank Lloyd Wright, William Morris and Harry Beck to work on the mascots we’d still have sneered at the outcome. That’s what people do when big organisations try and get all cute.
Still, we have to applaud the sheer inventiveness with which people have derided Wenlock and Mandeville. As usual, b3ta have been at the forefront of mockery by Photoshoppery, with 11 pages and counting of spoof mascots. The roll-on-deodorant-like duo have also raised a smirk over the pond, where sports site Deadspin have accumulated hilarious reader renderings of our Olympic heroes. We’re not sure we quite get the winning entry, though. Must be some crazy Yank thing.
That’s as nothing compared to the Canadians, who are reportedly terrified of the twosome. “London’s creepy one-eyed Olympic mascots scare us,” muttered the lily-livered Calgary Herald, aligning themselves with one tweeter who dubbed the mascots ‘terror sperm’.
Meanwhile, Dom Joly, writing in the Independent, imagines the PR meeting that gave birth to the maligned twins:
Creative Two: “Me and some of the guys were thinking about it while we were playing Baby-Foot. It’s got to be London-themed, right? How about a pigeon? A huge pigeon and it could fly over the opening ceremony and, instead of pooing on everybody, sweets would fall out of it?”
Creative One: “I like that, that’s really thinking out of the box and that’s what we’re all about. Problemo is that I don’t think the other countries will get it. A pigeon is just a bit … shit, really. Anyone else?”
Tempting though it is, we’ll remain neutral and resist the urge to cock a snook at Wenville and Mandelock (even though we do think the blue one looks like a roadkill Smurf in a crotchless chef’s outfit). Too easy.