Ash Cloud Shuts London Airports

Like a cigar-chomping Bjork smoking up in the departure lounge, the Icelandic ash cloud has caused havoc for London airports overnight. Gatwick, Heathrow, and London City were closed between 0100 and 0700 BST on Monday morning as Eyjafjallajökull's emissions hoved southwards. All three have now reopened for limited services, but passengers should check with their airline. Known scientific expert Sir Richard Branson, who (coincidentally) also runs an airline, deplored the decision to close British airspace, calling it "beyond a joke". Anyone wishing to kill time whilst waiting for their plane could do worse than try out this handy guide to pronouncing 'Eyjafjallajökull', which is turning out to be the most damaging Icelandic invasion since they bought out Bejam.