- A Sutton man was beaten to death on Hallowe'en after challenging someone who had stolen his girlfriend's fancy dress hat.
- London's probation service has been put on trial and found guilty.
- Unusual effects of the recession #69: sales of posh knickers are up.
- London's cats will soon be left with nowt but the Standard to read as they perform their ablutions*.
- Haringey is greening its grot spots.
- The Kents (as in Prince Michael of) are auctioning off a bit of the family silver.



It's always insane to hear about one person beating another one to death. That shouldn't even be possible.. I can see a few punches being thrown.. but don't you know when you stop? Wouldn't rather not go to jail? I guess some people don't think..