Pamela Anderson To Star In P****

Blockbuster time, with your host as always, Bob Holness. Over to you, Bob: "What 'P' is lascivious lovely Pamela Anderson going to star in this winter?" We'll give you a clue — it ends in 'o'. What's that? You, the lank-haired chap with the prominent arm tattoos. A porno, you say? Why ever would dear Pammy do such a thing? Look what you've done, poor Bob's come over all a-quiver. Nope, the Baywatch actress and w*nk bank mainstay for any teenager growing up in the early Nineties is to appear on stage at the New Wimbledon Theatre's annual panto. She'll be playing the Genie in the Lamp for a two-week stint in the venue's production of Aladdin, from 13th to 27th December. This is a family show, folks, so don't expect variations on lamp-rubbing gags.