Woman Wages Crusade Against Army Homosexuality

An incensed Canadian boxer and martial arts instructor flew into a rage and gave a solid pasting to a pair of soldiers after becoming angered at their faux-mosexual antics, a court has heard. Ashley Wolfe, whom the Standard twice mentions as being 5'3", as if short people can't be dangerous (Napoleon? Vladimir Putin? Joe Pesci in Goodfellas?), was at a Christmas dinner-dance at Woolwich Barracks when she became irked at a group of officers kissing each other and pretending to be gay. Foaming from a stew of alcohol and intolerance, the "petite blonde" allegedly told the soldiers that their behaviour "should not be allowed in the British Army", before tossing a sergeant into the sound system, dishing out a beating to his wife, and for good measure knocking out a Coldstream Guard with just one punch. An international warrant is out for Ms. Wolfe's arrest, after she no-showed a hearing at Greenwich crown court. (Image / Ralf Berger)